I was a heavy smoker but was able to stop overnight with each pregnacy. After my last child was born, I knew that if I returned to smoking, I would smoke till my dying day - I had already made up my mind that there would be no more babies.

DH continued to smoke for another 5 years. He had a terrible time - went to a hypnotist twice. Finally, one New Years Eve - he was working with the kids putting a model train scape together. His hand were busy and he went for hours without lighting up. That gave him the incentive to see if he could just stop 'cold turkey.' He did, but the process was not easy for him.

He is now one of those dreaded 'reformed' smokers. He cannot stand the smell of smoke. He asked me how I could stand smelling that smell on his clothes for as long as I did. After being around smokers now, he comes home and hangs his clothes in the garage - will not put them in his closet.

It is a nasty habit for sure. It's been nearly 30 years since I quit, but had a surprise during my yearly check up a few weeks ago. I'm seeing a new doctor - and was put through a ton of tests - one of which was for lung function.
Even though I'm in great shape, exercise 4/5 days a week for years - my lungs are not back 100% That was a shock.

If you can - quit. This is one habit that has absolutely NO redeeming qualities. It will kill you. I watched a friend die of lung cancer a few years ago. She never did quit. Of course, she was too far along when it was diagnosed. It's such a waste.

I am one of those reformed smokers. I quit when I was 26 after smoking for a decade. A lot. I actually could not stand that I smoked, but I could not stop until I stopped. Anyway, 20 years later, I was being prepped for cancer surgery: bilateral mastectomy. The anesthesiologist said, "Do you smoke?" I said I quit 20 years ago. He said, "Well, I've noticed some 'emphasematic changes." What? After 20 years of quitting I had precursors to empahsema (however you spell it.) One nasty habit with multiple consequences.

What I'm about to convey is graphic in what happened so if you're the least bit queezy I would suggest skipping my post.
My smoking started when I was 24...I quit when I was pregnant with my 2nd child (didn't smoke with my first), started again the day my 2nd child was born, quit 12 years later, started again because a role I played (community theater) required I smoked and I started up again and was smoking for seven years when my step-mom called me from the hospital to say she'd been diagnosed with lung cancer...from smoking. I listened as she struggled to breathe and talk. Her life expectancy was about a year. The next day we received a call and it had been shortened to 3-6 months. The next morning I boarded a plane to be with her. She was in the hospital and was going to be sent home...to die. Her three daughters and two sons (I was a step-daughter) were shown how to administer morphine into a thing in her stomach. A hospice nurse checked on her daily but most of the time she sat her in bed at home waiting to die. My step-mom had been a bad step-mom and a day after I arrived she whispered to me how sorry she was for being such a bad step-mom. She asked my forgiveness. Each day she struggled more and more for breath but it was obvious the fluids in her lungs were winning. The day before she died I sat on her bed and watched her, never leaving her side. I washed her body with cool, wet cloths and cried silently as I watched her struggle for breath. I didn't know that night would be her last night on earth. The morning she died was horrible. She woke up once and smiled at me and said hi. I asked her if she wanted anything. She wanted a bite of doughnut and I placed a tiny piece in her mouth. She smiled at me and closed her eyes. After that she never really came back around. For several hours she continued losing the battle to breathe, fluids seeped through the pores of her skin and soaked her bed sheets, blood spots formed on the surface of her skin and I was struggling with the horrible sounds of her lungs screaming for air. Her mouth worked like a fish out of water and I prayed to God that she wasn't aware of anything. I'd never watched anyone die, much less someone I cared about. My Aunt had seen this before and I asked her how much worse it was going to get...she looked at me and said, "worse." I didn't know how it could get worse but it did. I prayed for God to end it. My sister and I sat on her bed and at some point we whispered for her to let go. Not five minutes later she did and I was shocked and numbed at what I'd witnessed. From the day I arrived (on a Sunday) it took her six days to die. She was only 55 years of age. Watching my step-mom die made me quit cold turkey. I told myself my children would never have to watch or listen to me dying like that. I have never picked up another cigarette and know I never will. I truly believe my step-mom saved my life. Three months later my dad died from his smoking (his heart exploded) and he'd been suffering with emphasema and another type of lung ailment. My half sister died at 49 from lung cancer. Anyone who has to watch someone die from that self imposed death sentence would never, ever pick up another cigarette...or one would hope.

Dee, I witnessed my mother's death to lung cancer. It was horrendous. She smoked for twenty-plus, almost thirty years. She quit in her 50s but she still died of lung cancer. I'm sorry you had to witness that, but I am grateful it made you quit your habit.

Anee, you are wise to quit too. I like your mention of how you felt when you lit up. I wish more people felt that way.

Dotsie, were you surrounded by second hand smoke like I was? My dad smoked for many years, and died of complications/heart problems brought on by pulmonary fibrosis. Our family is actually part of a medical study at Duke University on pulmonary fibrosis, since so many members of my dad's family had/have the problem.

I hope I can avoid that, it's a horrible way to live your last months, gasping for breath.

Dear Anne...I would never presume to know how anyone else will be at the hands of this terrible, terrible way to lose one's life...I am sorry to hear about your Mother and my prayers will be with you and your family.
Dotsie...you and I have something in common, as sad as that is...and I understand what you went through and sympathize with you. I remember how cool I thought I looked with that cancer stick stuck in my mouth...how foolish smokers are, especially in this day and age, to think they lead anywhere but to the grave or oxygen tank.

I was never a smoker. I tried a few times when I was a kid, but was afraid of lighting a match, so that sort of kept me away from it. My ex smoked from the age of 12. He was up to about 4 packs of Lucky Strikes a day. He had a bad accident with a skillsaw one day at work and for some reason, I think being in the hospital for a short time and not being able to, he quit smoking - cold turkey. Less than 2 years later, he died of lung cancer at the age of 53. In Dec., he had danced at our daughter's wedding. There was no evidence of illness. In March, he got sick with what seemed like a bad cold or flu. He became very hoarse and didn't seem to be getting better. My daughter told him to go to the doctor. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and scheduled for chemo and radiation. He made it to our sons birthday party at the end of April, began the chemo by the 1st of May. He couldn't understand why this was happening because he "had quit smoking." The damage had already been done, of course. He died in the middle of August. None of us expected it to be that fast. He died at home and was on Hospice care at the end. The kids were with him. I had been there earlier myself. I used to tell him that he was going to kill me with his second hand smoke. I still get angry when I think of how every time I bought him any kind of t-shirt, it had to have a pocket for those stupid cigarettes and all the times he would "be out of cigarettes" and I'd have to run to the store and get him some and how I was supposed to remember to throw an extra pack in my bag when we went out at night. (Even though he was the smoker, I was supposed to remember to bring them.) I should have "forgotten" once in a while.

I, too, would like to think people who watch this would never, ever smoke again. Working in a healthcare facility, it never ceases to amaze when I see people who see this stuff all the time smoke, but they do.

Lung cancer is definitely becoming more and more rampant, and about the same age group. There is no guarantee that if one stops smoking now that they will not get lung cancer later. Many have ended up with lung cancer after several years of not smoking anymore. But, that doesn't mean it will happen to everybody that quits. Nor is it an excuse to keep smoking. There are many benefits to not smoking. I have high blood pressure and in the past few years, I have had a really hard time keeping it down. The last time I went for a physical, the reading was 185 over 150. The nurse told me that if I am not careful, I am going to end up having a stroke. Of course, I went and had a few follow ups after that to adjust some of my medication. But the risk is definitely there. I really need to be able to handle stress so much better than I do now. Of course, I would love to eliminate it, but it seems to follow me no matter what I do. Does anyone recommend any web-site or book for learning how to work on ones coping skills?

Cheers,
Cathi

Louisa...I hope you don't continue to feel guilty...we've all bought cigarettes who had a partner who smoked. I can remember when I was a kid buying cigarettes for my step-mom...I was only about 11 or so but she'd give me money and send me to the store. Of course today that could not happen. When a person wants to smoke they're going to find a way...I know...I've been there. You're hunan like the rest of us and even if you hadn't bought any cigarettes for your ex, he would have smoked anyway.

Optimum...I'm sorry I don't know any books or sites to guide you to concerning your situation. My sister swears by Yoga. I'm sure the ladies here will be able to guide you...I'm sorry. Good luck.

Hugs,

Dee

Dee, I don't really feel guilty about it but sometimes I think maybe I should have tried harder to make him quit. He tried a couple of times and quit for a while, but his disposition was terrible. Then when he did quit, he just quit all at once. I really enjoy going to smoke-free places now. I hate going somewhere and having my clothes smell of smoke. Now, the restaurants here are all smoke-free. It's great.