Site Links










Top Posters
Dotsie 23647
chatty lady 20267
jawjaw 12025
jabber 9984
Dianne 6123
Latest Photos
car
Useable gifts!
Winter wonderland/fantasy for real
The Soap lady meets the Senator
baby chicks
Angel
Quilted Christmas Stocking
Latest Quilt
Shelter from the storm
A new life
Who's Online
0 Registered (), 21 Guests and 1 Spider online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
3217 Members
63 Forums
16311 Topics
210610 Posts

Max Online: 189 @ 09/21/13 03:01 PM
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3
Topic Options
#13829 - 06/12/04 06:56 AM Re: "Codependent No More", interesting reading
DreamrKate Offline
Member

Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
You are such dears! That's one of the things that is so wonderful about this board, the encouragement, always.

So things are going great. I'm doing what I do, and we're doing what we do and he's doing what he does... we went to the church recovery thing last night and we were the only couple who showed up but that was okay. I got caught up to speed on what they do and they wanted to know what my hopes were. I told them that while of course I wanted to be supportive I also felt that for years I had felt that we had a ministry helping other couples. I've felt that for years only because I've always felt like we had something very unique because we've managed to stay together and not just because I put up with whatever is going on but because it's always been important to both of us, even in the face of Scott's battles.
So the four of us talked (the couple running it and Scott and I) together and then we split up. The wife and I talked about a lot of things but she really wanted to just get a feel for who I am and where we were in the recovery process. And then later she told me that she and her husband had been praying for a while and had really felt that God was telling them that there would be a couple that had been involved with the church almost since the beginning of it, that would come to help with their ministy and she said that she didn't want to jump the gun or anything but she had really felt strongly when Scott attended last week that there was something there and after the discussion we had yesterday, that she was wondering if maybe we were those people and she asked if I had any inclination in that direction. I told her that THAT was pretty amazing because we'd been in that church for 17+ years and I had ALWAYS thought that THat was what we were called to do but idiot Scott [Roll Eyes] kept screwin it up... So... of course this is way in the future but it was really interesting. They counsel along with a couple of really good books and it's Christian based and I can't remember the name off the top of my head but it was written by one of the men who I think helped write The Purpose Driven Life. Baker? I think that was the name. And another book that Dianne recommended was on the list too. So...oh, one other thing...one of the things she told me was that all through their (really) rough marriage (28 years of it) she had cried out to God wanting to know why, oh why was she going through it all, and then she said at some point she got the answer - that the only way she would be able to help others was to have experienced it herself.

So......I'm ready for the thoughts.

Love,

Kate

Top
#13830 - 06/15/04 06:39 PM Re: "Codependent No More", interesting reading
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Kate, God works in mysterious ways. See, I believe He's been at work throughout all this.

Please keep reading and doing what you feel called to do with his recovery and God will continue to place things in your path.

As far as helping with the ministry at church, I would leave that totally up to our husband if this is a couple's ministry. If the ministry was for partners of people who abuse/abused then I would say it's up to you.

Is your husband giving you feedback as you go along? I'm tickled that he went again. I'm proud of both of you. [Big Grin] God is at work Kate...keep listening wholeheartedly. I'm praying for you girlfriend.

Top
#13831 - 06/22/04 11:54 AM Re: "Codependent No More", interesting reading
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
Kate, this sounds like a really good turn of events and I hope it follows through to fruition. My prayers, too, that this time it works.

Top
#13832 - 06/22/04 08:25 PM Re: "Codependent No More", interesting reading
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Kate, any more meetings?

Top
#13833 - 06/23/04 06:25 AM Re: "Codependent No More", interesting reading
DreamrKate Offline
Member

Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
Actually, yes. The woman I've been seeing each week has been talking to me about setting boundaries. This is a good thing and it's not something that I haven't known and setting boundaries is all mixed up with self-esteem and such so I was getting to it but hadn't gotten to that point in my own personal growth.
Anyway, last week during our discussion she asked if Scott had found a job yet, (and since I know I write long I'll skip to the end) so when I said "No" she tells me to tell him to get out there, get a job and if he doesn't come back with one "kick him to the curb."
Here are two more things you really must know about me... 1) HATE two-bit cliches!; 2) DON'T ever do what someone tells me JUST because they say, I have to know that it's something that is good for ME; oh, and 3) DO NOT MESS WITH MY relationship with my family.
So... I maintained my cool but I may be setting boundaries and it may be in HER office this week.

Really, I'm goofy and funny and sort of a whack job, but when it comes to what I'M supposed to do, I really have this incredible sense of myself and what is intrinsically right for me. I just get weary sometimes.
On the church front - last weeks group meeting went really good. I felt like I had a lot to offer in regard to helping keep your family/self/life on some kind of balance in the midst of a storm. And my husband is just so peaceful, so settled, so focused. And is AcTuAllY looking for work these days. And NOT because I issued some mandate but because he's feel confident and able to contribute.

That's the 411 for now.

Kate

Top
#13834 - 06/29/04 07:16 AM Re: "Codependent No More", interesting reading
DreamrKate Offline
Member

Registered: 10/15/03
Posts: 446
Loc: California
I'm just checking in here... things are going great.

We are busy with church, our Thursday night class. He's going to his meetings and I'm going to the therapist, which seems to be more like a little chat session than anything else.

Work is good. The weather has been nice and all the flowers I planted are still alive.

Life is good.

Kate

Top
#13835 - 06/29/04 04:12 PM Re: "Codependent No More", interesting reading
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Kate, I'm so glad your husband has chosen to get help. I pray he continues on this path with you by his side. Keep up the good work.

Top
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3



NABBW.com | Forum Testimonials | Newsletter Sign Up | View Our Newsletter | Advertise With Us
About the Founder | Media Room | Contact BWS
Resources for Women | Boomer Books | Recent Reads | Boomer Links | Our Voices | Home

Boomer Women Speak
9672 W US Highway 20, Galena, IL 61036 • info@boomerwomenspeak.com • 1-877-BOOMERZ

Boomer Women Speak cannot be held accountable for any personal relationships or meetings face-to-face that develop because of interaction with the forums. In addition, we cannot be held accountable for any information posted in Boomer Women Speak forums.

Boomer Women Speak does not represent or endorse the reliability of any information or offers in connection with advertisements,
articles or other information displayed on our site. Please do your own due diligence when viewing our information.

Privacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer

Copyright 2002-2018 • Boomer Women SpeakBoomerCo Inc. • All rights reserved