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#138152 - 01/16/08 03:09 AM A separation that may have worked
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
One of my older sisters, who lives in another country, has had a 6 months separation after 22 years of marriage. They have two teen kids...girl and boy. Neither of them like their Dad, sadly. And, after all the junk my sis has had to endure, she just about lost love for him. He's extremely selfish and CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP. Been an absent father-type since he's self employed and always had the "I have to work" excuse whenever a family event or a school performance was at hand.

So, they agreed to a separation in June. On Jan 1 of this year, my sister took him back and tells me that it's like he's "risen from the dead". A HUGE difference already!

Granted, I don't have all the details, but she says he's changed quite a bit. During this 6-month hiatus from marriage, they did date on Sundays and she was giving him in-depth "talks" about what she expects etc. She was teeter-tottering about whether or not to take him back. She'd see "some" signs, but also knew that some changes really could not be made until he were back home. So, she let him back in.

I applaud her for doing this. She and I have been communicating all thru this time. I've been praying for them/him. God really needed to do just about a complete personality change on my bro-in-law.

Once I get an update from my sis, I'll update here. But I wanted to give a PRAISE to a hopeful situation that may have been doomed.

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#138153 - 01/21/08 06:10 PM Re: A separation that may have worked [Re: Di]
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
Well, I was impressed anyway!

So far, they are ok...he is helping a lot with dinner etc. And apparently laughing more! Seems that, since he became a father, all humor got pushed out the door. Sad thing, because when we met him he was so funny!!

I continue to pray for his salvation and to be touched by the Holy Spirit.

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#138154 - 01/22/08 01:35 AM Re: A separation that may have worked [Re: Di]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Good for your sis for doing what she needed to do for herself. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is taking that first step towards changing one's life. He must love her if he's changing for her...good for both of them and they'll be in my prayers.
And, too, I think men get lost in their work and the reason he's working so hard is for his family. They get lost doing what they feel they need to do to give their family a good life. I'm just guessing here as to why your sister's husband worked so hard and became cheap...Anyway, I'm glad that she was able to reach and and he's responsing...that's the most important thing and obviously their marriage is still important to them. Bless ya'll.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#138155 - 01/24/08 01:55 PM Re: A separation that may have worked [Re: Dee]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
He must have realized how serious she was. He also was awakened to what life was like without his family. Ouch. Hearing about separations that don't end in divorce is encouraging. It's rare that you hear this.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
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#138156 - 02/02/08 12:52 PM Re: A separation that may have worked
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
it is rare but im delighted it worked out good so far. hope it continues. A bit off good news
_________________________
"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn

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