I mentioned my grandfather on this forum and realized his story is one worth mentioning.
My grandmother, his wife, died at the age of 54 of kidney disease. He did the Italian custom, (He lived in Santa Barbara, CA,) and visited her grave daily for one year..
After this year, he fell in love with a woman named Alisa. She was a lovely woman but my family in Santa Barbara went nuts. I have a very wealthy family there, in the form of millionares everywhere and one billionare. They disapproved of Alisa because she was Spanish and not Italian, my grandfather was from Italy, Venice, where his father was Mayor. They did not like her but put up with her, some of them anyway, although she was respectable.
Alisa was the Grandmother I knew. She became my grandfathers companion when I was very young, young enough to adopt her as a grandmother. She owned her own home, a nice home in Santa Barbara, was retired on her own income and had three daughters of her own, all grown. She adopted me as a grand child and visited once a year with my grandfather and I saw she made him happy, human, and well. I loved her. They remained companions for 13 years. In the end, my grandfather married her as he got older to assure her security. She had moved in with him and given her home to one of her daughters, for example. Their lives were merged. My real grandmother was NOT nice and many, including my father, were not sad at her passing. Alisa on the other hand was loving and lovely. She kept herself well and held herself proud. She was great.
My grandfather fell ill and wanted to go home to Italy to die. He flew home with his now wife, Alisa, and unfortunatly, he died in the airport in Italy! He made it home, but he died when he got off the plane!
My grandfather, as I said, was wealthy. He had two sons, my father and one other.
This is what happened:
the first thing they did was have my uncle, (his son,) fly to Italy and pick up his body, even though he wanted to be in Italy to die and be buried at home. They LEFT Alisa to get home on her own.
My uncle is an attorney and he and my father filed to get Alisa removed from my grandfather's home, HER home as well, they were married.
They filed with the court accusing her of marrying him for his money when he got ill! They both knew she was with him and was the reason for his survival for 13 YEARS but still they filed the motion.(They had not been married very long, it was not important to them.) It was fulfilled and they kicked her out of her home with my grandfather. They took ALL his assests that were left to her and reclaimed them on the same grounds. My father had SAID to me many times that she was the reason he got along with his father and how much he enjoyed her visits! He LIKED her, but still, he sided with his brother and they kicked her to the curb like a DOG! They took EVERYTHING and left her in a one bedroom apartment because she would not impose on her successful daughters, she was too proud to do that.
One night she called me and by then I was an adult. She was crying and asked me why they would do such a thing to her, why they would cut her out of our family and not even speak to her! She did not understand why they were treating her that way when she was family the day before he died and for 13 years before that!
I explained that my family was not wealthy by giving things away and that they could be cruel. I was so sad for her and told her that she was my grandmother as far as i was concerned. I apologized for my family and told her I would call my father.
I did call my father and he blamed it on his brother. He said, "You know your uncle, he'd never let her have a penny and would have cut ME out if I was not also a son!" Big excuse, huh?
My father proceeded to bank the assets he inherited AWAY from my step mother and keep them for himself. He said that inheritance was NOT community property and he did not want her blowing money. He took the home he inherited from my grandfather, a HUGE beautiful home in downtown Santa Barbara where the real estate is in the top ten as far a value and put it in his and his brother's name. He cut my step mother, his wife for 20 years out of all of it. He claimed it was his and he was keeping it safe for us, his children. My stepmother was very hurt. She came from no money so she was living very high with my father but still...
You see how they treated second wives!
Moral:
MARRY your beau of years if you decide to live with him and retain property with him! Sew up all loose ends so far as your rights to his property and be ruthless as my family was! Don't be left in the cold because you think a will will protect you if you don't have more to back you up! Watch out for children of your second husband, I'm sorry, but beware of them! I know it's ruthless, but you see what can happen?[
I hope this has some warning in it of what can happen. I've seen it again and again in my family circle of friends. The wealthy and even the not wealthy can treat you life a "red headed step child," upon the death of the man you love!
Trust me, I am LOCKED in as my husband's beneficiary! He is as mine as well!
dancer 9,with family lessons!
Edited by dancer9 (01/11/08 07:24 PM)
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