I think so. My psychiatrists, when I was in therapy, all thought I had suffered most in my life from those jealous of me hurting me and my inabliity to see those that are jealous coming.
I have been hurt badly by jealousy and I don't feel that emotion myself. I don't see it, and often one who is jealous does me harm and hurt before I ever figure it out.

Are you hurt by jealousy?

I have been bashed by it, and suffered the vindictiveness of it all of my life and writing about it brings me sadness. I left my last forum due to jealousy. I was very happy there for a couple years until a couple women came upo the forum who set me up as a target due to my popularity. Of course, I walked right into their traps. They attempted to befriend me first, and I welcomed their friendship as I always do, and then the games began. They started to post like me and my older friends on the forum began to warn me. I refused to believe that these women, one in particular was jealous of me because I felt she was very popular on her own and I liked her myself. Still, she was and the PM's started when she decided to spread words about me to others as she became more popular using posts like my own and even, I was told, phrasing like mine! This hurt me and I didn't know how to fight it. I was, truthfully, being backstabbed while I wrote emails to this woman and she used any information to undermine me. When I finally could not take the "vibe," of some of the forum towards me, I left.
The owner of the forum asked me to come back in an email. I tried to tell him of this "plot," to "cut me down to size," but the other woman was such an avid poster he was not inclined to loose her either. He asked me to "rise above." I did for a bit to try to do what he asked and make him happy. Still my friends were looking after me and sending me posts that undermined mine with the lines used highlighted to help me see. This hurt me very badly. It got so bad that when I posted a problem, it had been made so "wrong," to think of me as "special," that people began PMing me their true feelings of caring towards me to avoid the "gang," this avid poster had created coming after them as well! I got email after email asking me if I would come back and some trying to think of ways to make me comfortable even though I was in a "single white female," situation again in my life. I simply cannot return and I was recently asked to come back again since I came here. I can't feel good there anymore and feel I've been hurt badly. I trusted those who would stab me in the back and whom were jealous enough to copy my words and I felt no way to heal it or feel good again there. I left some good friends and try to keep in touch with email. I actually brought one over to this forum because she said she missed my posts. I've tried to go back and post but everytime I feel the animosity towards me from these two women who post day and night and in very strong words.
It's sad.

My own sister would not introduce me to her boyfriends or invite me to her wedding. She openly told me that she was jealous of me and always had been and even apologized for it when she was in treatment. I was elated. I had been SO hurt by her all of my life and I thought it was a new beginning. Her basic complaints against me were "dancer loves everybody, I hate her," and "she can wear anything, da*n it!" I coud not believe the pettiness of this. I know women who are more beautiful than I, in my opinion and I do not feel jealousy for them! I admire them and in fact, am interested in how they live their lives surrounded by jealousy. They seem to recognize it sooner and seem to have their ways of nipping it in the bud! How do you do that? I have a basic trust of people and I never expect jealousy because my self esteem is not that strong that I would. I have a life time of those I care about trying to tell me the next person who is jealous and out to hurt me only for my personality and what I look like! It could be my marriage they are jealous of, or my successful children. It comes from all sides.
It never hurt my career because the best one gets the job and I guess that was me so I played with bands that no woman ever played with. Still, I was literally trapped in a jealous marriage for ten years before I could escape.
I wonder why I can't see it coming? I try to be on my toes about it but I just don't possess jealousy in my heart so I don't recognize it until it is too late!
I have been called naive or innocent ALL of my life and I still am. My own son has to warn me of people who are befriending me because they want something I have! I feel stupid to say the least.

This is a short story about my experience with jealousy. I have a step mother who helped me through a situation with a jealous girl who told me that jealousy is the single worse emotion a person could have and alerted me to a person jealous of me. My stepmother was a beautiful woman who had no reason to be jealous so I could trust her with regard to that.

I have had, on many, many occasions, women like so much what I a wearing that I GIVE it to them even if I like it! My husband watches that part of me now.

I cannot tell you ladies what I have lost to jealousy!

How are you with that emotion? Can we open a discussion about jealousy? I would be very interested in what you all have to say about it. I have seen a couple wonderful members come to my aid here when they feel I am being "pinned," in a thread, and I love them for it and value them above all others. Thank you, you know who you are.

With no jealousy,
dancer9

My Grandparents raised me and although I did not know so then many shows of jealousy were attempted.The worst was from an older cousin(3 years older) who sent a Christmas card with my birth surname(not used apart from formalities) and c/o my Grandparents.She had it posted in a town where my Father might have been.He was not on the scene.There was a veiled hint he would collect me from school.I asked everyone who this card came from...the Aunts closed ranks and Margaretseemed to be let off.This scared me...I only knew half the story.
In mmaturity I see she did not get off with it.She has it in her past.
Because there was more time for me and more money around my Grandparents enjoyed having me.In both cases I did the important things at their end.I saw the love they felt.
There had been a baby whose name I have who died and this may be the way the used that love.
My cousin's behaviour taught me to suss out the bullies and I absorb their attempts to challenge.
Its all in the past but cathartic to share.
Dancer you are so welcome here and its the other forums loss.
.Mountain ash

Knowing about your young years, Mountain Ash, explains some of your kindness and wisdom. I, too, was raised by a grandparent half of the time and the love was so wonderful. You are special as I always say,and I see you grew up special.

thank you for your kind words. They mean much to me but I feel you know that.

dancer9

I also want to congratuate you on your teaching your cousin the way to behave!
dancer

This is a topic that stumps me somewhat. I enjoy celebrating diversity and accomplishment. It's very rare for me to feel jealousy or envy of someone else's life or ability or being...I might wish for more money or ability to do my own "more", especially when it comes to global concerns, but I honestly do celebrate each person's being, ability and accomplishment.

It's a complicated emotion. There's often an old story behind jealousy, in fact, I would dare to say that when you see someone consumed by jealousy, you're likely to find some trauma buried deep in that person's psyche.

I was once very hurt when a supposed longtime friend of mine, someone I still care deeply about, told me that she actually hated me and couldn't stand to be friends anymore. It turns out that she was jealous of my carefree childhood because she herself had been abused throughout her early years. So I respect and understand her feelings, and have distanced myself from her because I know that somehow I represent something she could never have.

I have more examples of very jealous people having experienced major catastrophes in their childhood.

In our 32 years of marriage, my husband has never given me a reason to be jealous; not once. I'm so grateful for that, because I know jealousy can rear a very ugly head.

Dancer, I’ve experienced jealous woman too. They can be terribly evil and unjust. I worked for an employment agency in Boston for a while, and within the shortest time had the highest turnover. A few of these ladies spread a rumour that I was sleeping with the boss. Haha, the boss was about 100 years old, and I was in my early 20’s with a boyfriend. That’s how low they can go.

It’s a good thing you have left that forum; leave everything that makes you feel miserable. We are too old for such nonsense.

Wow, Hannelore! Sleeping with the 100 year old boss? That was a truly desparate move by the jealous party! LOL.
I know it was not funny at the time!

Still, it's bad when one or two people can ruin things for all of them! It IS an evil emotion as my step mother said, I am realizing. I know it's taken me time, but at least I am beginning to see~

dancer9

Eagle Heart,
I'm not sure that is what has happened because I had a very traumatic childhood but I have no jealous emotions that I have ever recongnized. I am known for having no jealousy and being the first to become so very excited for a friend who does well.

I trust my spouse and am not jealous in anyway of him or bother him with thoughts of other women. He has told me that the quality is extraordianry in me. I just don't think that way!
If I could think that way, I think I would recognize it easier. It takes one to know one, theory! I just wish it did not rain down upon me so much! I am so very protective of real freinds who I know aren't jealous because they are rare!
I am in a field where jealousy can be twisted, that is in the dance and modeling field. In dance, it is settled easily, whomever can do the move, can do it, nuff said, right? In vocals it's much the same way, if you can sing, you get the audience, if you cannot, you don't!

I just don't understand it and I was asked once again to return to my last forum but I just could not with good feeling, return! I felt badly.

dancer9