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#13689 - 03/11/03 03:13 PM Teen scene panel- drinking and drugging
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Last night I attended a panel discussion of 15 teens from the surrounding private and parochial schools. The discussion was a very frank one about what kids do on weekends.

There was a tremendous, most impressive list of all the activities, student governments, committees, associations, clubs, teams, mission, jobs, etc. in which these kids were involved.

Here is what they said:
- # 1 reason they party is to reduce stress, relax, blow off steam, escape from school, activities, hard work, commitments during the week, and parents academic demands.

- They have fake i.d.'s but don't need them. Alcohol is easy to get, so is pot.

- Kids are blatant about drinking, but will smoke pot off to the side. Kids drink to get drunk. Drinking games are big.

-They drink to loosen up and it turns just hanging out into a party because people have more fun when they drink.

- There are some kids who attend these parties who don't drink. According to the group, they are well respected. [Wink]

- Kids don't drive drunk and won't let their friends drive drunk.

-They look out for one another and call parents and/or take kids to the hospital when needed.

-They have had more than enough education about alcohol and drugs at school.

-Pot is used, but not nearly as popular as alcohol. There is a small percentage of kids using hard core drugs, but they pretty much keep to themselves and don't push them.

-Rarely do kids sell their ritalin, concerta, etc. but it happens. It is sold to kids who are cramming for tests. It helps them stay focused and up later, therefore able to keep their good grades.

-Some kids will sell pain killers from recent personal surgeries.

-When parents allow their kids to drink a glass of wine at dinner, it takes all the fun out of it.

-Athletes drink less during their season because you can get kicked off the team.

-For the most part, most of this begins in Junior and Senior year.

-If Freshman and Sophmores are coming home drunk then you need to do something about it.

Well there you have it. There were approx. 180 parents in attendance. When it was the parents turn to ask questions they did so with respect and not pointing fingers in anger or frustration. The parents were simply grateful for the information.

One adult asked about alcoholism, AA, detox programs. The kids knew people who are involved in such programs and they know kids that they think should be involved with such programs. One boy very respectfully stated that the percentage of alcoholics among youth is probably the same percentage of alcoholics in our generation.

Would love to hear your thoughts and comments!

Tomorrow I will post what they had to say about sex, and then I will post their advice to parents and what they most wanted their parents to hear from them. It was oh so interesting!

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#13690 - 03/11/03 07:54 PM Re: Teen scene panel- drinking and drugging
nillawafer Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 158
Loc: new orleans
hmmmm..... as crazy as it sounds.. things are changing for the better. kids will always be kids. this will NEVER change. but... when i was their age, we were doing the same things but we did not respect the ones that did not drink, we made fun of them, we did drive drunk and let our friends drive drunk, we never called parents to getus if we were drunk, we would not take a friend to the hospital we made them sleep it off, we did not have nearly enough education on drugs and alcohol, we did not leave people alone at parties that were not doing the same drugs as we were..we picked on them until they did them with us so we could all be just as high, noone was on ritalin because we had never heard of it so we could not sell it anyway, we never got pain killers for any sugeries back then we had to take tylenol for everything (until someone poisoned it and then noone took tylenol for a while) remember that? and if we did we would not have sold them...we did however steal and share our mothers and fathers valium or whatever drug of choice they were taking to put up with us...so... there you have it... things are getting better.. i can not wait to see what they have to say about sex..

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#13691 - 04/04/03 06:23 PM Re: Teen scene panel- drinking and drugging
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I find it hard to believe that there are so many mothers of teens in this forum and we are avoiding this post like the plaque. Why? [Eek!]

Here are my honest thoughts on this topic:

Yes I know this is going on all around me, I have three teens.

However, it is not something that we allow in our home. The kids know how we feel about this and they know there will be consequences. [Wink]

I am not saying that I am certain that my senior in high school has never had a drink. I am not stupid! [Eek!]

I do know that it is not a habit at this stage of the game because we are waiting up for him when he gets home and will stay up to chat.

The best piece of advice I received was from a freshman advisor at a local high school. Parents were taking the attitude that kids were going to drink anyway, so why forbid it?

He stood up and said that he was a fairly recent graduate of the school and the reason he didn't drink in high school was because he knew his dad was always going to be on the other side of the door when he walked through it every night he came home.

There are no guarantees in life, but I do think the later they start drinking the more time they have had to learn to deal with lifes ups and downs without a drink in their hand.

Face it, we all know family or friends who started as young teens and never learned to be in a social setting, deal with hardships, or even celebration without a drink.

Like any other mother, I pray that my children don't become alcoholics. I also pray that when they make a bad choice, they live through it. Lessons are often learned by making those bad choices. Live and learn! [Wink]

Anybody else have any thoughts on this/ I'd love to hear them! [Big Grin]

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#13692 - 04/11/03 05:28 PM Re: Teen scene panel- drinking and drugging
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
Teenagers, drinking, and drugs... wow.. what a topic. I remember all the research I did when I was writing my book, NOT WITHOUT ANNA. I learned a lot about the high number of teenagers drinking and doing drugs.. but what was more, I discovered a lot of "inside" information about how teenagers act and think. I think I captured their attitudes accurately in my book.

Here are some recent reviews:

Not Without Anna
A teenager dies under questionable circumstances, rocking the lives of residents in a small Florida town. Another teen, held responsible for the death, commits suicide. Not Without Anna shows the town, and the residents
as they cope with the tragic deaths and become a closer, more involved community that truly cares enough about its children and their future to take control and fight back.

EARLY PRAISE
FOR NOT WITHOUT ANNA
My immediate reaction, upon finishing Not Without Anna, was that it should be required reading for every parent of a teen or preteen. Then I realized that was only half the story. Teens and preteens need to read this book as well. And grandparents, who are perhaps even more clueless than the parents in this chilling story of drugs, sudden death, anguish, guilt, and—finally—rebirth. Not Without Anna is a modern morality tale, a story of good, well-meaning parents who had no idea what was happening with their children. It also delves, first-hand, into the anguish teenagers can suffer over little things, as well as over problems that are truly almost insurmountable. It shows in stark reality how teenagers risk death when they just think they are being cool. Not Without Anna opens eyes on both sides of the age gap. I heartily recommend it.
Review by Grace Kone, who writes as Blair Bancroft
THE INDIFFERENT EARL Signet, March 2003
THE MAJOR MEETS HIS MATCH Signet, August 2003
A SEASON FOR LOVE & THE INCONVENIENT MATCH Signet 2004
See also Blair's Historicals & Romantic Suspense at www.rfiwest.com

Not Without Anna is not for the faint of heart. When Anna is found dead after a party with friends, her distraught mother tries to uncover the secret life of her teenage daughter. This is a heartbreaker - a gritty, realistic read - a behind the headlines story of the results of teenage alcohol and drug use. NOT WITHOUT ANNA is a primer of the facts of life about teenagers in today’s world and not an easy read for parents who think:
"Not my child!"
Review by E. Joan Sims
CEMETERY SILK, Wildside Press
THE PLAGUE DOCTOR, Winter 2002
www.ejoansims.com

Not Without Anna is a gut-wrenching look at the problems of teenage drug use and sexual activity in today's society. Without judgment, Vicki M. Taylor explores the lives and emotional upheaval of a group of teenagers after the drowning death of one of their friends during a drug-fogged swimming party.

In similar fashion, she explores the emotions of the bereaved mother, left alone after her daughter's death with only the girl's diaries, discovering that the child she thought she knew did not exist.

As friends, loved ones, and a shocked town try to come to terms with the death, fingers begin to point and tempers flare. And just when you think you have it all figured out, a shocking twist changes everyone's life--forever. Not Without Anna is not to be missed.

Review by Natalie R. Collins
Buy this Book and I'll Wash Your Car: How to--or not to--Get a Literary Agent
http://www.nataliercollins.com/agentbook.html

Vicki Taylor’s, Not Without Anna, is a must read! Meet a heroine with spunk! I love that in a woman! Don’t YOU make the mistake I did, you order in and prepare yourself for a late night, or you’ll find yourself running around town doing errands with your nose in a book and it’s hard driving that way—not to mention dangerous! Better that you leave the driving to Ms. Taylor—you sink into your favorite chair, enjoy twists and turns, spiked with romance—in relative safety!
Review by Babs Lakey
Publisher Futures Mysterious Anthology Magazine/Author of the psychological thriller Spirit series.
Babs Lakey/Publisher/Futures Mysterious Anthology Mag. http://www.futuresforstorylovers.com
psychological suspense author. http://www.suspenseunlimited.net

Not Without Anna is a beautifully written, heart-tugging story. Compelling from start to finish. Bravo, Ms Taylor!
Review by Katherine Sutcliffe
http://www.KatherineSutcliffe.net
Coming in 2003 from Jove Books:
BAD MOON RISING
HOT AUGUST MOON

Vicki M. Taylor, in her new book Not Without Anna, reaches into the hearts of the reader by delving into the world of young people today and the issues they face: drugs, peer pressure, career choices and just daily living. Not Without Anna should be read not only by every young person, but also by every parent. You will never view these things in the same way; you will see them through your heart's eyes.
Review by Janet Elaine Smith
Author of best-selling Dunnottar www.janetelainesmith.com

NOT WITHOUT ANNA can be pre-ordered from Amazon.com at:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/09 70219083/qid=1050072402/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/103-6227548-3047023?v=glance&s=books

[ April 11, 2003, 10:30 AM: Message edited by: Vicki M. Taylor ]

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