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#13680 - 04/11/06 05:18 AM Re: Curiousity
chowhuahua Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/06
Posts: 30
Loc: Dallas
quote:
Originally posted by GJAX:
Good for you Chowhuahua!! keep up the good work:)

You can call me Chow [Smile]

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#13681 - 04/11/06 10:58 PM Re: Curiousity
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
chow, your choice to do it for yourself and no one else is what is amking the difference. I'm behind youone hundred percent and welcme you to keep us up to date if that helps. We're here for you to make the changes you want to make. Keep up the good work...

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#13682 - 04/12/06 01:26 AM Re: Curiousity
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
Chow,
Big hugs. Remember us when the dark spots hit. We are hear in a big love circle for you. What you are doing so awesome!

Neither side of the addict/co-addict coin is exactly easy. And I don't think, as a society, we've figured this out at all. So many of our kids are unhappy for some reason or another and we haven't given them the support they need or the knowledge that there are choices. I know my son is/was very bright and he was bored to tears in school, but because he didn't fit the right mold, he couldn't get into gifted programs.

Keep up the good work, Chow!

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#13683 - 04/12/06 02:26 AM Re: Curiousity
chowhuahua Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/06
Posts: 30
Loc: Dallas
Thanks...All the support is really appreciated. I'm actually just a few days from 2 months sober. That just blows my mind. Except for times I have been hospitalized (and had no choice) I don't think I've gone much over a week or two between drinks since I was in Jr High. It just got so bad for me about the last year or so I had to do something....All I could see for a future was drinking myself into oblivion (i used to love that place so much) every night until there was a morning that I just didnt wake up. And I really think I was hoping that day would come pretty soon. It is so important to do this kind of thing for yourself rather than the other people in your life. But doing it FOR yourself doesnt mean doing it BY yourself. I dont do AA but I have had such a huge amount of support from a wonderful friend that it has made these early days of sobriety alot easier than they sometimes can be.
There's also the issue of therapy I have started just recently too (i know, alot to take on at once). Finally dealing with the sexual, physical & emotional abuse that made up the biggest part of my childhood. The big thing is...this is hard enough the first time around, I'm not really wanting to wipe out the work I've done in therapy by drinking...and then have to do it again.
If you get my drift....

[ April 12, 2006, 02:11 AM: Message edited by: chowhuahua ]

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#13684 - 04/12/06 03:06 AM Re: Curiousity
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Chow, my daughter just celebrated her six month of sobriety. She's still in a halfway house, by choice, and is slowly healing her body.

I want to tell you how proud you should be of yourself. Good for you!

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#13685 - 04/12/06 05:08 AM Re: Curiousity
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
Chow, Yes, get your drift! :-))
Powerful issues to deal with. HUGS.

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#13686 - 04/12/06 06:14 AM Re: Curiousity
LSmith5434 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington State
Chow.......I was raised with an alcholic father, and it hurt me so much to see him fade away.
I applaud you for your wanting to make a better life for YOURSELF!
No one else can do it but YOU!
Congrats girl!!!!!
Lynne

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#13687 - 04/12/06 06:20 PM Re: Curiousity
chowhuahua Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/06
Posts: 30
Loc: Dallas
Just want to thank you guys again...

Considering things that are going in the last couple of days, I'm really wondering where that 'need a drink' feeling went. In the past it seems like the littlest thing would set that off & I'd be drunk in no time.
I had the hardest therapy session yet on Monday, meaning we dug in underneath this wall of anger that I guess I'd been using as a coverup for so much pain & sadness. And man I'd SOOO rather be pissed off. And had a panic attack during a relaxation exercise (go figure) & never really had panic attacks before.....Then later that night I went through a kinda/sorta breakup, not really even sure if that's the right name to give it but just saying I lost my friend doesn't even come close to conveying the depths of it.
I guess I'm just not sure why I'm not wanting a drink now & is it going to come up & bite me in the ass sometime when I least expect it. I know I've been mostly pretty numb so far, with little episodes of sadness mingled in. I dont know, maybe this is something I'm worrying about that I dont really need to stress over right now...But I guess it's also good to be aware...Dont know. A little lost right now I guess.

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#13688 - 04/12/06 08:18 PM Re: Curiousity
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
Chow, Keep breathing. You are so very brave. Lots of things will change for you as you move away from the life you used to live. Numbness is pretty normal during therapy, especially when you deal with big traumas. So is feeling lost. I remember thinking at some point during my own therapy, "OK, this man has made me let go of 90% of my beliefs about my life and who I am. Now what????? What do I put in the hole that's left?"

But it came. Slowly the power came to be my own person, to trust in a Higher Power. I'm still learning, but I've gotten to the point where I enjoy the journey.

HUGS

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