Yes! What Dee said!
dancer9

Welcome Artlady. I think it's fantastic that you started an art program for adults with disabilities and went back to school. I went back to school at the age of 47 and got my BS. Apparently, here it is BS because even though I'm working I wish I had a wonderful job.

I know you're hurting, but you have much to be proud of and gratefull for and I'm delighted you found us.

Hi artlady. Maybe the ex just finally grew up. Maybe his new love won't tolerate penny-pinching. Many reasons but try not to let it bring you down because it has nothing to do with you. You are your own person and it says nothing about you when he is suddenly generous. Remember that, it has nothing to do with you. He is what he is, rich or poor, generous or stingy.

My sister went to her son's wedding party at her ex's big, expensive house. I caught her stomping a piece of the cake into his carpet, taking a picture of herself with his camera, before I said, "No more margaritas for you!" Today, she can laugh about it so know that the pain will leave.

Welcome Artlady! Sounds like your ex is a materialistic individual, whereas you are artistic, altruistic, and intrinisic! 'Things' cannot bring you happiness, and it seems his fiance is a 'thing' having been engaged for 4 years as it appears he's got her hanging by a string (perhaps waiting for some'thing' better). You, too, can go to Europe and I'm certain would enjoy and appreciate the history and art far more than your ex! Chin up! Less really is more!

I PMed artlady to let her know everyone is still respodning. I hope she comes back.

Dianne, your post is perfect. It reminds us how riled up we can get in the moment, but after time passes, the emotion also lessens. Praise God for that.

Tomorrow I'm going to my SDIL's home for my Step Granddaughter's 2nd birthday party. I'm already stressing...well, not stress so much as...simmering is more like it, because my husband's ex (who is really nutty and has treated my husband like crap) will be there and my SDIL's mother, who is cold to me and doesn't speak to me...for those of you who read my inputs over two years ago may remember my being upset because my stepson trashed his father's brand new tractor and refused to take responsibility for the damage (still hasn't)...when my SDIL became curt and snotty to me I put her in her place and her mom didn't appreciate it and has refused to speak to me ever since, despite the fact that her daughter was the one out of line. The only reason I'm going is to support my husband, who naturally wants to go to his grandchild's birthday party. It's uncomfortable as hell for me and I absolutely HATE being in that situation. My husband says, 'don't worry about it.' I told him he doesn't understand what it feels like because no one in my family has ever been disrespectful to him and he agreed he doesn't understand. I know he hates being around his ex as well so we'll be moral support for each other for having to be under the same roof with his ex. Anyway, it's one of those times where I have to reach down inside me and pull out that strength that gets me through it when what I really want to do is never ever see my husbands ex or my SDIL's mother again. Wish me luck...thank goodness it's only for 2 hours. Unfortunately I'll have to go through it again in June when the newest addition turnes 1 and will have his 1st birthday with all of them being there. For those of you who have not remarried and have steps and ex's I'm so envious of you for having done it right the first time and for not having to go through this. Okay...I'm off the pity pot now. Thanks for listening.

Dee, it used to be so bad for me, I would lose 7-10 lbs before a family event so I know how you feel. I finally stopped going for a few years and only this year did I agree to go for Christmas. But, in those few years I got myself to the point that I didn't care and they didn't bother me, something that makes a big difference. Good luck. I don't envy you.

Thanks Diane...it's nice to know there are women out there who understand what I'm feeling. How was it for you at Christmas?

Ouch, Dee! I can relate! Those obligatory things that keep us in one room with our x are horrid, aren't they! It's one thing to be finally divorced, but it's another to be reminded why we are divorced again!
Good luck with this appearance you will put in! You have my deepest sympathies and I hope you are able to avoid any uncomfortable situations and even have a real laugh, at least once!
dancer9

Christmas was fine because I emotionally removed myself. I used to go overboard, trying to be nice and now, I'm just myself...something I should have done long ago but you know how it goes. We live and learn.

I just sat back and listened and made the appropriate comments but didn't start any conversations on my own. Be glad that your husband is on your side. Mine wasn't for a long time but is now. I think he finally grew up.