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#136104 - 01/01/08 01:48 AM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: artlady]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Hope this flashback roars out to a whimper, artlady.

You done well if you bought a fixer upper and also created a service to a community. It takes incredible faith in oneself to make that enormous change from divorce.
_________________________
http://cyclewriteblog.wordpress.com/ (How cycling leads to other types of adventures, thoughts)
http://velourbansism.wordpress.com


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#136105 - 01/01/08 02:05 PM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: orchid]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
How are you today, artlady? Do something especially kind to yourself to start the new year. You have lots to look forward to!
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#136106 - 01/01/08 05:29 PM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: ladyjane]
artlady Offline


Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 5
Hi LadyJane, I'm still in my pajamas. Still kind of stuck but I know today is better than yesterday. I love your quote by J. Buffet. Isn't that the truth?

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#136107 - 01/01/08 07:57 PM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: artlady]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Hi Artlady. You found the right place to come to; lots of sympathetic hearts here.

From your post I gather what really peeves you is the fact that when you were married to this money pinching man, you had to turn over every penny twice, and now you see he’s rolling in the dough. Didn’t your sons know about this and warn you? Your x must know how his copious life style would get under your skin. Looks like he’s trying to rub it in…or am I wrong here?

Well, since revenge is sweet…you could try to hook up to some millionaire that has even more than your x, and then graciously invite your x to your place. But if that is too bothersome,…then just don’t ever give your x another chance to wallow in his riches in front of you.

Fine if you meet; but then just on neutral grounds, I say.

Quote:

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.
Rita Mae Brown



Hannelore

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#136108 - 01/02/08 08:39 PM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: artlady]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Artlady, first I would like to also welcome you to our home. Yes, it is a home and we are all sisters of which you are now also.

It is human nature my friend to feel as you do. Everything you should have had, is now being given to, and shared with another woman. I would be so dam mad I don't know what I would do.

I don't understand you're being so kind and allowing him to flaunt his new lifestyle in your face, BAD CHOICE!!! Now you have to get past it and the only way to do that is to find something or someone to give your own life meaning and pleasure. Easier said than done, but it is the only way because until something else fills your heart and your mind, you will continue to dwell on the injustice of it all, and thats sooooo normal!!

I hate men who pull this crap on their spouses, and it seems to be happening more and more.

I would say, it could be worse but I would be lying...You might put your foot down NOW, on your kids to never mention that sleeze bag and his hag to you again. I am dead serious about that one.

Try and keep busy and ask God to ease your mind, he is our best friend at times like this...

We're here for you too, anytime night or day.


Edited by chatty lady (01/02/08 08:46 PM)

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#136109 - 01/02/08 09:16 PM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: chatty lady]
QBall101 Offline


Registered: 12/21/07
Posts: 138
ArtLady, first of all I do admire your strenght to get through that visit with charm and diginity, YOU are a LOT stronger than you know just by accomplishing that with an even temper. I'm not advocating or advising bodily harm here, but when i get to a certain point of anger at my hubby or "life", I take one of my hub's beer cartons, toss it on the pond bank, chain up the dog, get my gun and turn that box into confetti! If you are inclined go to a target range and shoot a few rounds. It's an excellent outlet in a controled enviroment.

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#136110 - 01/03/08 03:46 AM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: QBall101]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Dear Artlady,

Hello and welcome to the most heartfelt, accepting place on the planet. Your story broke my heart to read and you're reacting normally, considering. I think you were noble in going to his home but I think he was rubbing your face in his happiness and that was pathetically wrong. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Considering how it affects you I would suggest against ever doing that again...if your sons don't understand then that's their problem.
Now, for your situation...grive but then try to move on. I think a part of your ex would be glad to know you've been knocked down so hard by seeing him and his life. Why give him the power you've allowed him to put upon you, taking your life and your spirit down anymore than he already has? (that is worded terribly but hopefully, you'll get my drift). He's not worth one more tear, one more missed day from your life or one more depressed moment. YOU have a life that God meant you to have...without him...and I know you're better off because of it. Reach deep inside you and pull out that inner strength that I know is there and do your best to come out of this sadness. I'm certain the holidays haven't helped at all.
Hold your head high and look at what you've done...and what you'll continue to do. You're a valuble woman with so much to give and it's his damn loss if he threw you away...not yours. Don't give that man one more ounce of your essence of life if it keeps you down. Let your light shine through because God gave you that light...not your ex. Your ex can dampen your spirit but never take it away...only you can do that...and I think you're better than that.
Welcome to BWS and this wonderful group of hyper sisters...we're here for you anytime.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#136111 - 01/03/08 01:50 PM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: artlady]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Dear Artlady,
A divorce is difficult to say the least. I spent 17 years with a man; we were married 14 years, when he decided he wanted a blonde instead of a brunnette. He wanted someone 10 years younger than me. And so he divorced me and married her.
Our son was 13 at the time. He lives in a neighboring town.
He and his wife had a graduation party for my son when the boy got his high school diploma. I was expected and did attend that gathering. That was many, many years ago. I seldom see my ex. And thank God for that. But it's a hard, hard thing to see someone you loved and probably still love way down deep. You have a right to feel bad. And you have a right to nurse those feelings. Only advice I have is pray, a lot. Ask God to ease those nasty feelings. And let's believe that He will!!! Prayers and blessings from one who knows what you're feeling.

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#136112 - 01/03/08 02:50 PM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: jabber]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
In the midst of all the hurt, sadness and anger, I just have to mention one small (and it might seem insignificant to you, but not to us here) silver lining - this whole disastrous event led you here to us - and those of us who have been here for awhile KNOW that nobody stumbles in here by accident. Every voice has its wisdom, and I dare to say that God knows that we need YOUR voice here. I don't minimize the pain in any way (anyone who knows me here knows that I know pain!), but just add a wee shred of silver lining into the mix...

Welcome to BWS, Artlady...though the circumstances that led you to us were sad and painful, we're glad you're here.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#136113 - 01/03/08 04:18 PM Re: A hurting Newbie [Re: Eagle Heart]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Well said, Eagle...well said.
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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