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#133851 - 12/06/07 12:47 AM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: Eagle Heart]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
I am beginning to understand, Eagle Heart. I forgot that others can read the posts without being members! I will try to remember that when I word my posts...
thank you, Eagle Heart, for explaining things to me.
dancer9
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#133853 - 12/06/07 05:00 AM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: ]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
I know 1 close friend, was complaining how often their shared home computer seemed to have pornographic pop-ups, etc. at unexpected moments when surfing the Internet.

I didn't have the heart to tell her ..that maybe hubby was viewing this stuff without her knowledge.

Yes, I've met her hubby...a pleasant, mild-tempered guy..whenever I visited them, etc.

The nasty stuff that's not soft, or involving children, ..is downright creepy.

Sadly Internet is just desensitizing more and more people about graphic sex because the Internet is a highly visual/graphic medium to self-publish...anything for very little money or maybe for free.
_________________________
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http://velourbansism.wordpress.com


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#133854 - 12/06/07 08:24 AM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: orchid]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
My husband isn't a computer freak. He hardly, if ever uses it; so no lurking there.

In Germany you don't need a computer to watch any kind of p. It's all shown on television, even the hard-core kind. Even the commercials use "breath-taking” scenes to sell everything from margarine to insurance policies. It's so common that it’s boring.

My husband was never interested in p. I think my sons were, but not anymore. The enticing mystery is gone. There must be some viewers still, otherwise they wouldn't keep showing it. I would think the teenage generation watches, and with age, get bored with it as well.

I would find it extremely insulting if a man were more interested in that than me. I think I would give him a choice. And if I lose out…he loses out.

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#133855 - 12/06/07 10:39 AM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: jawjaw]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
While I wish I could talk about this, I went to bed last night thinking about this very same issue...this being a public and not closed forum. We don't need this type of attention! And it makes me feel too open and vulnerable to whomever and whatever! If it were closed, I'd talk but this is too scary! Sad, but so true.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#133856 - 12/07/07 08:07 PM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: orchid]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
We also can't forget the women who condone it and even, at times, participate, as one woman I knew. She said she was not "into it," but participated to "keep my husband!' I could not understand WHY she wanted to keep him but she allowed all sorts of degradation to be visited upon her in the name of keeping her marriage. I know my SIL is like this because she had told me she participated in some P with her ex because she wanted the marriage to work! She does not see that it only makes the marriage weaker!

I wonder if therapy can touch this problem. We all know that pedofiles cannot be cured or stopped but are those addicted to P the same?

It would be interesting to know.

dancer9
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#133857 - 12/07/07 08:52 PM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: dancer9]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Thousands of prostitutes are immigrating from Poland and Russia to Germany. These women are unbelievably beautiful. You would think there must be other jobs for them to choose from. I could never understand that.

I think a partial reason for all this “p” is because it is tolerated. Like I said in another post, it’s on every German channel from morning to night. Sex magazines are lined up next to kid’s comic books, with really disgusting cover pictures. Have you ever turned the dial on your radio, because the lyrics embarrassed you? Now how bad is that!

The odd thing about all this openness is that I think they are taking something very precious away from the young kids. The secretness of it all; never mind the terminology of “making love.” Jeez, what do you do when you fall in love? It’s just not special anymore .

This is when I yearn for those good old days. Black and white movies, cute lyrics, and a kiss on the lips could make you blush. How old am I?…I’m 58 going on 120. Oh well, that’s me,…from the hippie love generation. But I was corny then too.

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#133858 - 12/07/07 09:10 PM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: Edelweiss]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
dancer, your statement "I could not understand WHY she wanted to keep him but she allowed all sorts of degradation to be visited upon her in the name of keeping her marriage." hit home very hard with me. While things are much tamer now than they'eve ever been, I also felt degraded but allowed it in the beginning "just to keep him." Yes, I know now that that's the sickest thing anyone could ever do. I know that after my 30 year marriage was over, I was not the same. I came out of a very restrictive lifestyle and went crazy like a college kid would after coming out of a too-strict home. I'm very, very ashamed of some of the things I allowed. And quite frankly, I am not over this yet. I've long since stood up for myself one thing at a time as I began to regain sanity. I don't know if most women our age can understand what I mean but it's very true. I look back in horror because I can hardly remember thinking much less anything else. I really lost myself when my marriage ended and had no idea who I was or who I was supposed to be. The p is the last of the outward problems now. In the past few months it's not happened like it used to but occasionally it comes about and I'm always so disappointed. I wonder what ever happened to me. What a life change.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#133859 - 12/07/07 09:24 PM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: ladyjane]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
LJ, I happened to think you are one strong and wonderful person. Be kind to yourself! That old saying, "walk a mile in my shoes" can apply here. Just because we've never experienced some of the feelings you have, like being lost after your marriage, wanting to know what to do, what to feel, do I experience THIS? Do I let go of THIS? etc., this doesn't make them any less real for you.

We don't have to experience them to know they're yours and that you lived them, experienced them, and now are questioning them. It sounds like to me you are moving on and with good feelings and hope.

Girl, taking the time out to find Jane and who Jane really is, to me...is a giant step. How brave you are to say, "I want to know Jane." You rock!

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#133860 - 12/07/07 09:31 PM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: ladyjane]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Lady Jane,You must, I think, forgive yourself! You were then, another person than you are now. You had a set of symptoms that everyone understands and you are much better now. It's not your fault.

What I mean was that I, personally, would not be able to put up with such things. It is just me, it's not about anyone else.

Yes, you are not alone, there are many women who had to escape such things as in doing so, you are a survivor, and not a victim anymore.

Please don't take anything out on yourself that resulted from someone taking advantage of you and hurting you! It's not your fault, it's not your fault!

I know that, and so do all the people out there who know there are those into this stuff that will hurt people with it.

I am myself and I have certain things I could not tolerate but it doesn't mean that I haven't been abused, I have. What happened to me was something I had to not blame myself for, and not hate myself for not leaving sooner. So must you.
YOu are a good woman, Lady Jane, and one of my favorites on the forum. You, like I, live and learn.

Please be good to you,
dancer9
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#133861 - 12/07/07 09:46 PM Re: Your views and experiences [Re: dancer9]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
There you go LJ....listen to Dancer! Her words are full of wisdom and love...and she's been there. So see? You are not alone, and...you are a survivor!!!!

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