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#133329 - 12/01/07 02:30 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: ]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
I had an update from the chief of police.
It seems that my sister in law has been leading us on and her MS has not affected her in the ways she said. The chief said that both of her legs and her arms were working fine as far as he could see and that she was "throwing things here and there like it was nothing." He said he has known her for a long time and has seen no change in her ability at all! He told us that "all of her apendages were working well," so far as he could see and he "was with her all day."

He said that her husband "lawyered up," as far as the computer on his phone but that they were now going to press criminal charges and send the phones away anyway. He said that before he called a lawyer he told them that he was downloading porn, and "mostly the father and daughter kind."

The chief said that since he got a lawyer the DA has decided to pursue pressing charges based on the phone and what it reveals, his confession and my SIL saying he did sleep in their daughter's bed. He told us that my SIL was "back peddling," and probably going to pay for his lawyer!

He told us that in his experience, he feels that the little girl was molested by him and he said he has a lot of experience. He said that he believed that my SIL knew about it but did not take part.

He told us to keep her "on our side," in talking to her like we are worried for her and care for her so that we may hear of anything else that may take place.

I cannot believe this is the position she is taking. I am amazed at her behavior! Her brother, my husband, is sickened by her behavior and doing everything he can to keep the DA going on this.

The Child protection report had not come in but they must have seen no immediate danger as they let the little girl come home. They did tell the chief that they would be making visits to the house to check on her without warning.

The chief was at the house today and said he found him drinking beer with a friend that has been in trouble with the law many times. He said that they were waiting to see if his truck moved to try to catch him driving so as to arrest him. His punishment for the DUI will be, the chief said, one year suspended license, a fine of 2,500.00 dollars, classes in alcohol and driving that cost 300.00 to attend and that all of this is mandatory sentencing, and everyone gets it.

The chief was very forth coming with us and asked us not to repeat what he said as it was now a criminal investagation and he should not be sharing. I think he felt better about sharing because of my husband's work. (DEA, Coast Guard, Border Patrol, etc...)

My other sister in law called my SIL and she would only tell her that she had a hard three days and her "right side was numb." She also told her that she "had to get her house clean and in order." We thought that was because of the visits that Child protection will make.

I can't believe my neice was left in that home knowing how my SIL back slid and knowing that the DA is pursueing sexual molestation charges against HIM.

He has now been accused by his sisters of molesting them, of molesting a daughter from another marriage and now this. Like the chief said, "Where there's smoke."

That is what I know so far. We are waiting for the findings of Child protection...

upset but hanging in,
dancer9
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#133331 - 12/02/07 01:08 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: ]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Anne,It is MS that she has been diagnosed with. She was diagnosed but after that, no one has talked to her doctors. We just listened to whatever she said and sense she is the only family member in Virginia,, we had to take what she said as fact! To talk to the police chief and find out that she is walking,talking and moving as normally as she was when last seen was a shock to all of us and we felt really put out, not to mention angry about her failing to protect her daughter!
There is no easy way to say it. The police chief saw the interviews and believes she knew about it but did not participate.
Of course she participated! She let it happen!

It's all still frightful. Now we are waiting on a report from, Child Protection and their recommendations. I think we can get it from the police chief even though it is confidential.

We just have to know the little girl is alright. We know he will be prosecuted for both the DUI and the pornography but as far as his behavior before it is over, he's drinking with his friends in his home since he can't drive!

That is the latest at least!

dancer
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#133332 - 12/02/07 02:05 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: dancer9]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
I have only had time to skim through this, so please pardon me if I am out of line or get details wrong. I want you to know I support you, even if I don't have time at this moment to be thorough in my reading.

MS rears it's ugly head on and off. Please don't judge her abilities by what she is capable of at this particular moment. She may me completely incapable sometimes of any real movement and completely capable at other moments.

Victims of abuse will protect their victimizer for many reasons. Please find a way to support her while pushing her to be honest with you and herself. Sometimes reality is just too hard to face - it's not that she is being "bad", she just may not be able to face the complete truth.

All that being said, I hope that he will face severe charges, and the children will be protected from any harm, no matter who is doing the harm. They are truely the innocents.

I will pray long and hard for everyone. My heart and thoughts are with you and yours.
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#133333 - 12/02/07 07:07 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: Anno]
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Dancer wrote: "The police chief saw the interviews and believes she knew about it but did not participate.
Of course she participated! She let it happen!" This is a very horrible experience, and there is much reason to be alarmed. How was it determined that the creep was sleeping nude in the daughter's bed? Did the daughter say "My daddy sleeps with me?" Or did the mother tell the other sister that she saw the creep in the daughter's bed? If so, that makes the mother complicit. That is covert participation. As Dianne said, it is under the defense mechanism of denial on the mother's part. But if the mother saw and suspected, caught him nude in the daughter's bed, then there was no reason to stay, especially if she has the money. I certainly hope the youngest child has not been harmed in any way. However, the chaos of this destructive home enviornment is harmful enough. Enough said.

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#133335 - 12/03/07 02:09 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: ]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
I'm hoping I can get more info tomorrow from the police chief about Child Protection's actions...
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#133336 - 12/03/07 02:38 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: Princess Lenora]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Princess Lenora,
I know she knew. This is why I said I was not able to forgive at this time. I don't know if I ever will. This woman told us that she caught him sleeping in her bed nude, this is why my husband and I could report it!
She is playing "dumb," to Child Protection but she did turn over the i phone with the down loads so that is something.

Lately, although she is my SIL, my husband and I have been wondering if she deserves to keep the children. There is a case for "failure to protect."

The chief said he felt she knew but did not participate. My husband asked him if he felt she participated because at this point nothing would surprise us.

I just hope the CPS report on the children will punish them and do something for those girls.
(The other daughter is one. They are one and four.)

dancer
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#133337 - 12/03/07 04:32 PM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: dancer9]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Dancer, would you and your husband be willing to raise these girls if they are removed from the home?
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#133338 - 12/04/07 01:19 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: Dianne]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Dianne,
We would but there is another family member who would probably expect to raise them. Her older sister took care of her two grown children while she worked all of their young lives and she would probably like to do the same with these two children of her sisters. It's strange, this sister was their "day care," while my SIL worked long, long hours and now it may be that she raises these two girls too! The first two children think of this sister as a second mother. I don't think my SIL has the ability to take responsibilty for the children she has! Four children and so far she's not been able to raise any of them. She was hardly there for the first two. ( Her first husband was into porn too, just not incest, thank God! However, during the divorce, he did get a little covert with his daughter...) She has a pattern here.
dancer
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#133340 - 12/04/07 01:36 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: ]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
Maybe for another thread.....but husbands that are into porn....how do you feel about that?
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#133341 - 12/04/07 09:23 AM Re: A nightmare of a family problem today [Re: ladyjane]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Lordy we have seen many posts regarding men into porn, the whys, what fors and possible solutions, NONE!!! I talked about phone sex which is porn only with a live person on each end of the phone and these men, most of them, are married and say so. Great topic actually, but so sad when it strikes in your own back yard.
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