Eagle, we're proud of you! And remember this for this future: the strength is inside you, to draw on when you need.

Hi Eagle, congratulations on the completion of the interview. Did you tape it? I love to hear that you were guided to a focus. I like Dotsie's response here, too. Way to go! Love and Light, Lynn

Thanks Meredithbead, Dotsie and Lynn, It was a very good experience, and because of it radiating from having been here earlier in the morning, it was also a warm spiritual experience.

I did tape it, but have only watched it once through. One thing that's been bothering me is that I hardly recognized myself. That sounds wierd, but it's true. I had no idea that that's what I looked like. Hubby thinks it's because I wore coke-bottle glasses all my life and am still not used to not wearing them (I had laser eye surgery two years ago). At first glance at the tape, it looked my mother's face...I never knew I bore such a strong resemblance to her...I guess the thick glasses always hid that from me.

Anyway, I'll have to look at the tape again, but was surprised at how it was if I was looking at a total stranger. I hope it's the glasses thing, and not some deeper "disengagement" issue.

People have been writing to say that they were impressed with my presence and delivery, some sounding quite surprised that I did so well So that's been fun to hear too. Anyway, thank you all so very much for your much-needed support and kudos and warm presence in my newest venture out my front door. You definitely helped make it possible for me to do this. I can't imagine being able to do this a few months ago before I found BWS!!!

Wow, Eagle, that's so interesting about not recognizing yourself. I had such low self-esteem (read no self-esteem) for so long that I never recognized any positive characteristics. When I saw my TV tape, I was thinking that I'd wish I'd known how cute I turned out to be. I recognized myself for the woman I had become. Whereas before, as a child and young adult, I did have that disocciation or disengagment you speak of, where I could not connect the image portrayed with my self. You know why? Because I had no self. The image was an empty shell. Now that I feel fulfilled, I see my self in all the dimensions, and fully connect the image (be it reflection or film or photo) as me. And I like it. Except I feel younger than my 51 years, so I expect a younger image. I think that's because I lost about 20 years of my inner life while my outer flesh kept aging. Yes, I see my mother in my reflection the older I get. I'm glad to hear you are getting good feedback. Way to go! That may be a good point about not being used to seeing yourself without your glasses. You were so many years with them, and only 2 without. Love and Light, Lynn

Eagle Heart --

I am Sooooo happy for you that the interview went so well. I've been thinking about you and hoping everything would go smoothly.

I dont think Dotsie FULLY realizes how important this forum is for so many of us. I know she's very pleased that she started it -- but it has been a God send for the rest of us

I can relate to your reaction of "not knowing yourself" on tv. It can cause a fairly large gasp at times

so what's next for you ?????

Thanks Lionspaaw, I appreciate your thoughts and hopes!

God-send is right! There isn't enough space on Dotsie's server for me to go into just what this forum has been/done for me. Meeting all you incredible women has been indescribably life-changing for me. You are all sisters whose names are now written on my heart, your worries and cares are mine, and you all are without a doubt the most awesome answer to prayer that I've ever received in my life.

In just a few short months, I've moved from desperately needy, hungry, empty and hopeless to fervantly wanting to help where I can, selflessly prayerful of all my sisters' needs, and full of new and invigorating hope. That's an awesome healing, wrought by awesome, healing women. God sure knew what He was doing when He whispered those sweet words in Dotsie's ear!

[ June 11, 2005, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Eagle Heart ]

AMEN !!

Hallelujah!

Thank you. I'm thankful I've had the courage to listen. He's begun whispering something else in my ears this week and I'm shaking in my boots. I'll fill you in when I work through this a little more.