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#128889 - 04/15/08 12:17 PM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: Eagle Heart]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
I've always called these "triggers." Everyone gets them once in awhile and usually one is caught off guard completely. I don't think it will ever be any different. As we age, more happens, more people leave us and on and on. We tend to widen our memory file more and more. We miss more people, pets and places. We become huge memory banks and I believe it tenderizes our hearts more with each loss....therefore, all the more triggers. yeah, count me in as a sap, too, if that's what I am. There are certain things that if I see, hear or smell take me back to precious memories of someone or something, particularly music that my big bro and I shared, or flowers that Mom loved or a place that I devoted my life with my ex-husband. All of it stings but can be beautiful if looked at in the right way.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#128890 - 04/18/08 10:00 PM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: ladyjane]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Triggers, that a perfect word for them LJ. I hate when they come at an inopportune moment and my eyes well up with tears. I'm sure some people must think me nuts.
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#128891 - 04/19/08 11:35 AM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: chatty lady]
ladyjane Offline


Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1761
Loc: Southern Maine, USA
Chatty, one thing I do know is that, with age, I've become even more weepy and often it's over something that comes along suddenly. Unfortunately, it's often when I'm out and least expect it. It's hard to try to stop it when it comes on like that. So people probably think I'm crazy, too. But it happens to everyone.
_________________________
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett

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#128893 - 04/19/08 05:39 PM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: ladyjane]
humlan Offline


Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 1341
Loc: Sweden
Yes Chattylady and LJ..I second that..lots more weepy with age..in other words a SAP, jabber!!! Gosh it´s great to hear that this happens to you guys,too. I hate it,too,when it happens sort of unforewarned. I try to bite back the tears..but that doesn´t always work..and I am saying to myself..what a wimp you are, old lady! But perhaps it´s an asset of a sort..because perhaps these felings can be kind of used on those around us..I mean, that perhaps we have more understanding and compassion than we had before?? I just hope that we also have it for ourselves..that´s important,too, I find..when I think over my life and try to realize that I did my best..eventho it didn´t maybe seem that way at the time...
_________________________
"some sacred place.."

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#128894 - 04/19/08 06:24 PM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: humlan]
chickadee Offline
Member

Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. Treasures make our hearts of gold break and our eyes well with crystal tears. It is an asset to have fond and loving memories, to know what once was.

When someone you know is hurting, you feel their pain. You have knowledge of what it can feel to be broken. Pain will bring tears of hurt.

When someone you know is joyous, you feel their joy. You have knowledge of happiness. Happiness will bring tears of joy.

Never get too old or unconditioned to be a sap for much will be lost in humanity.
_________________________
chick
~ Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't ~
~ Prayer is the most we can do for another human being ~

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#128895 - 04/19/08 06:53 PM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: chickadee]
yonuh Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 2447
Loc: Arizona
What wonderful words, Chick! Yes, I find myself getting weepy about the weirdest things, too. Like a silly commercial on TV, or something I'm reading. Maybe it comes from knowing what is going on in the world, or maybe these are just triggers from some way-back memory deep in our unconscious mind. Whatever it is, it can be darn inconvenient!
_________________________
Well-behaved women rarely make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
http://ruthrainwater.wordpress.com/
http://newbeginningsgratitudejournal.wordpress.com/
http://sablewings.wordpress.com/

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#128896 - 04/19/08 08:16 PM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: yonuh]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Anne, how true about the sense of smell. When Mom was very sick and dying, I remember rubbing her with Beautiful lotion. I beleive that was the name of the perfume. Anyway, I was walking through Macy's and someone has just sprayed it. I was instantly taken back to caring for Mom. I need to buy some of that perfume so I can pull it our every now and then.

Chick, three cheers for your last sentence.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#128897 - 04/19/08 08:36 PM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: chickadee]
humlan Offline


Registered: 04/15/07
Posts: 1341
Loc: Sweden
Chick..thank you..that is beautiful. Yes..our joys and our pain make us stronger..but also more vulnerable..because we can feel what others feel..but perhaps in that vulnerability..we meet very closely..for awhile..hmm..thank you!
_________________________
"some sacred place.."

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#128898 - 04/21/08 09:12 PM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: humlan]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Chick now I now I understand why we call you Chick, because you're so darn smart and COOOOOL!!!!
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#128899 - 04/22/08 03:36 AM Re: Grieving...the loss of the marriage & family [Re: yonuh]
Happy Birthday Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
My nephew lived and died at 17 in Pennsylvania. He had never been to Colorado Springs, where I live. Colorado Springs is unique in that everywhere you go you see Pike's Peak, the 14,000 foot high mountain that inspired "America the Beautiful, oh beautiful for spacious skies." Although I missed much of my nephew's childhood due to estrangement from my brother, his father, I always held my nephew in my heart because he was joyful and enthusiastic. Anyway, for some strange reason, whenever I get on a certain stretch of road, I look at the mountain and I say "Hi Jeff." Is it that the mountain stretching toward the sky makes me think of heavenward? I dojn't know. This mountain, the road, was never associated with Jeff while he was alive, but I remember him each morning with that scene.

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