For those of you who don't know my situation, I'm single with a three bedroom two bath house which was intended to house myself, my daughter and her two children. The daughter opted not to live with me and the two children are there less and less as they move toward their parents being responsible for them..

In order to make ends meet I advertised for a housemate. Tuesday a 44 yr. old, 6'2" Nigerian man who is a foreign trader is moving into the other half of my house and paying monthly rent.

I have mixed emotions about this because, typically I get along much better with men so that's ok, but, I'm losing a certain amount of freedom also.

How would you feel about having a male housemate??

A Nigerian *foreign trader*?

These people have sketchy reputations....

For this particular person I wouldn't let him throught the front door without a backround check. No way.

So far as a more general male/female question--when younger I had bothe male and femal roommates. I tended to get along better with the men. They were just more relaxed. The women tended to get wound up about little things and they brought weird boyfriends into the house.

But surely you are aware how risky it is to bring a total stranger into a property where you are the sole legally responsible owner?

Can you make the payments by yourself? It may save you money and headaches in the long run.

I believe set bounderies for both you and your housemate are essential.e.g. Noise and house rules .
Then you will maintain as much freedom as you have negotiated at the outset.
Mountain ash

Will you be sharing the same bathroom?

I would definitely do a background check on anyone I let move in with me.

I know kids find roomies on craigslist.com all the time, but I'm still a little afraid of that.

I know a young lady who moved to NY, NY and needed a roomie. She found her on craigslist and they are the absolute best of friends. They did no background checks and all is well.

I have had both male and female. The female was as sweet as she could be but I hated sharing the kitchen. The male was better as he just came and left, basically stayed out of my way. The female wanted to be part of the family. Both were short term.
If I had my choice it would be male but I can tell you I was constantly worried about the male housemate. I knew someone that knew him a little but I was never comfortable as a single women with kids to have him in the house.
You just never know.
I wouldn't do it again.
Kate

Good luck. You claimed you went to church...did you ever consider advertising via your church?

Having separate entrances is best arrangement. But it doesn't sound like it if you are concerned about loss of your privacy.

I would be tend be happiest to live in a shack NEAR people instead of share with a stranger -female or male. It's just me... I trust only friends I know in advance to share living accommodation.

Hmmmm...well tell us the stories later on...

Hi Kate, this is important, what you said about constantly being worried about the male housemate. How long did he live with you? How old were your children? You can answer via private message if you want.

He only stayed with us for a month. He was over here looking for a job with plans to come back just as my Dad had done many years before. He was from Denmark, my father's homeland. A friend of a friends family. I would say he was in his late 20's. He never bothered us and I slept upstairs with my kids. He had a room off the kitchen downstairs on the main floor. It had it's own entrance and bathroom but he did use the kitchen although rarely.

I only worried because I am a worrier at the best of times.
He did not give me any cause for worry. But because he was a stanger to us I kept me attenna up. My main concern was my children as I don't trust anyone around them. They were never home alone with him. They went to after school care and I picked them up on the way home from work. At the time they were 12 and 13.

I also had an 18 year old Japanese student for a month. He was more of a challenge as I had to provide meals for him, take him on outings, make him feel like part of the family.
We really enjoyed him and he interacted well with my kids even though he could not speak English.

I was trying to make a little extra money as my rent was/is very high so I thought I'd try a few short term situations to see if this would work for me. It didn't. Both the guy from Denmark and the woman who also stayed for a month were ok, I just decided it was not worth it to have help with the rent. I prefer my own space and found it a bit of a hassle.

I would do the student exchange student thing again as my kids really enjoyed having a teenager around from another country. They also enjoyed all the outings with the other students, we went out quite a bit as a group. The exchange student program paid but not enough to cover my costs. I just felt it was a great experience for my kids. It was really tiring for me.
Kate

I have a new housemate. Got rid of the first one who turned out to be a perv. He wouldn't leave me alone and even said he thought I came with the rental....yeah, right..!

My new housemate practically cried with happiness at getting to rent from me. He is a scientist,chemist and has been living alone for several months. He loves his room, paid a month and half in advance, and just seems to be elated at the prospect of having a "family".

I don't trust anyone though at all until I know without a doubt they can be trusted, especially with the kids.

With him there my financial situation is looking better.

I need information however, do any of you know if I can get alimony? My ex who is the world's biggest skin flint, gets retirement from the post office and disability from the va. He is like 65% disabled, and is trying to get upgraded to 75% or more. He is hoping for a huge lump sum of money which he will promptly spend at the bar.

Do you think I am entitled to any of his retirement or va benefits?

NewLeaf,
Maybe, I talked with hubby who works for the SSA . You need to contact the www.ssa.gov . You can get some of his retirement and VA , if have anymore trouble please PM me and I will help you with this . I you can't get though let me know .

Renee