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#12403 - 04/07/06 02:05 AM
a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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Here is a bright spot in the field of eldercare:
My mom is getting married!!! Mom told me last night that she is getting married to my dad's nephew (same age as mom - 81). My sibs and I are thrilled for them.
They both were loving and faithful with their spouses until they died. Both went through years of giving loads of TLC and sacrificing of themselves to care for them. My dad died after many years of waning health due to post polio syndrome. My cousin's wife died after about 10 years of several illnesses and surgeries.
They were close as couples and spent a lot of time together, traveling and with friends and families.
Mom had hip surgery two weeks before Dad died. I'm so proud of her for the way she has handled everything. A typical morning for her now includes aqua aerobics, a few miles on the track and weight machines. It took her about a year after Dad died to really get social again but as she did, we could see her blossom.
It is such a treat to see Mom happy, healthy and getting on with a new life. Dad was a realist and caring and giving. He must be smiling on her now, watching her pick up her life again. He loved and respected his nephew, too, so I have no doubt he would bless her choice.
In these days when my MIL and FIL are getting ever more difficult to care for, I am so blessed to have my mom to show me the way to aging with grace and style!
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#12405 - 04/07/06 04:06 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/02/05
Posts: 370
Loc: Washington State
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Flipperjo....what a wonderful time for you mother. I've always believed that romance is always with us no matter what age we are if we really want to pursue it. Good luck to your mother and her new hubby to be. Lynne
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#12407 - 04/07/06 07:09 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 01/10/06
Posts: 992
Loc: Honolulu, Hawaii
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Congratulations for them!
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#12408 - 04/08/06 07:15 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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#12410 - 04/08/06 05:39 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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Thanks for the well wishes for my mom, all of you. I will pass them along to her. This is such a wonderful new twist in our lives. And Searcher and Dotsie, no details yet, but will post them as they come along.
About the only thing Mom's said is that she hopes he gets rid of his computer before he moves into her condo because they will only have room for one and she doesn't want to give hers up! [ April 07, 2006, 10:41 PM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]
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#12412 - 04/08/06 08:40 PM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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wedding update:
yesterday, Mom and her fiance went to the jeweler - today she will be wearing her new ring. And then, they went straight to the registrar and got the license so they would be ready for whatever they decide to do, whenever! These two are wasting no time...
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#12413 - 04/08/06 08:51 PM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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Don't have any time to waste!!!!! This is really fun, Flipper, for us and them! Keep on with the updates! And , uh, does she like to get email? So, is it a nice discreet and tasteful ring, or is it a big ROCK???? (maybe Bluebird should look for your Mom on Myspace LOL)...
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#12414 - 04/09/06 06:54 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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my guess is discreet and tasteful, Searcher. Mom is not the flashy type. I think he wanted to buy her a rock but she's too modest for that.
will keep you posted...
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#12415 - 04/09/06 07:03 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
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OOOOOOHHH, MYgosh, Flipper,
This is REALLY fun! I'm thinkin' she should have gone for the rock - being 81 and all - but then, that wouldn't be true to her nature, so we love her anyway!!! God love her pea-pickin soul!!! (as MY Mother would've said). Tell her to write her journal, so we all can have the benefit of her wise and wonderful self - should I be contemplating marriage at 81 gives me courage! 'course she's already left me YOU!
Search
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#12416 - 04/12/06 11:32 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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update:
Word from Mom is there will probably be a private wedding with just Mom and the groom, my oldest sister and the groom's brother, sometime next week with a reception to follow at a later date.
Seems once this ball got rolling, it has picked up speed!
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#12417 - 04/13/06 06:36 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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another update:
Mom called this morning, invited me to her wedding on Friday at 11 a.m.! I'll be on the road tomorrow - it's going to be wierd to see Mom with another man not my dad, as I haven't seen her since this started. Bottom line is, I'm happy for both her and the groom and love them both very much so the wierdness will just have to stay on the back burner. At least my family is NOT boring!
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#12420 - 04/13/06 10:56 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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Smile, I will definitely take pictures and find a place to show a few along with the wedding details.
And Searcher, sis sent me a picture of the "rock" - it is not gaudy, but not what I would call small, either.
Mom said when they went to church Sunday, he held up her sparkling hand and announced their engagement to the seniors ss class. She said the pastor's chin about hit the floor and he was rendered speechless for a time. When he recovered he made sure he would get to do the honors and marry them which he will. They were met with lots of excitement and congrats from the rest of the group.
Mom sounds so excited, I can't wait to see her. I haven't been home since January. My sisters and I are going out for a drink (or two) Friday night, giving the happy couple their privacy.
Since he is my dad's nephew - my first cousin - we are wondering - will he be our dad or will mom be our cousin? Will she still be his aunt after she becomes his wife? Will his kids still be our cousins or will they be our sibs? Oh, my, what a twisted family tree we will be!
Stay tuned, maybe we will get this figured out over our drinks Friday night!
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#12425 - 04/20/06 09:02 AM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 10/22/05
Posts: 254
Loc: ND
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Well, ladies, the wedding was private and beautiful. Mom and her new dh are settling into her condo, preparing to sell his house and whatever they don't keep from both. I've set up a marriage announcement with a picture of the happy couple on theKnot.com so go have a look and read about the wedding at http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/view/co_newlywed.aspx?coupleid=3280979653940625 I will add a picture album next week. We all had so much fun! Because we have known each other for so many years, there was none of the clumsiness one would expect when two families of adult children are joined. My sisters and I had a great time convincing our little second cousins (7 & 8 yr.old girls) that we are now their aunts. They are smart little girls who didn't take long to figure out the advantages to five grown women competing for their affections! It was with much ceremony that we made their mother, our former cousin, our new little sister. She is 1 yr. younger than my youngest sister, so she in particular was thrilled not to be the "baby" any more. And now I have 2 little sisters to pick on! We decided that our cousin the groom's brother is now our "cuncle Kenyon" but had to stop ourselves from calling his wife our "caunt" for obvious reasons! One sis and I were bemoaning the fact that we would no longer have Mom all to ourselves all the time but decided that at ages 52 and 60 we would have to get over it. Mom and dh are happy as clams, already have reservations for 2 winter months in Texas and are planning trips to Alaska and Branson. They are so comfortable with each other and their decision to be together, it simply feels right. All of us, including the happy couple, remember Dad and the groom's wife, who both died in the last 2 years, freely and lovingly in our conversations. They may have shaken up the family tree, but the apples have not fallen far, for we are all crazy in love! [ April 20, 2006, 02:04 AM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]
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#12427 - 04/20/06 05:39 PM
Re: a bright spot in the topic
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Congratulations to the newlyweds and the newly joined family! I love happy endings!
Daisygirl
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