Dear Hannelore,

I too am a strong believer in commitment and I applaud both your tenacity and resolve. I know how difficult it can be to remain steadfast and hopeful through the rough times. You sound realistic in your evaluation of what’s taking place in your home right now; with such a good head on your shoulders you will know what to do if and when the time comes for decision making, and then you will have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you have pulled out all the stops and given it your best shot, one way or another.

I noticed that you are an American living in Germany. Do you have any kind of a local support network there?

Sending you a big virtual hug,

Foundhervoice-atlast

foundhervoiceatlast, it's been great seeing more of you lately. I know this is off topic, but have you seen our Danita?

I have been getting emails from Danita regularily and she is in a bit of a funk. Never lasts long with her and is to be expected, she loved the man who broke her heart and shattered her dreams...She says she is developing a website too that she wants to link to her friends websites. I bet she'll pop up sooner than later, she is a winner and one of my best buds.

Foundhervoice-atlast, I would love to find a local support network near me, but no luck. Infact when looking for a marriage counselor, I had no choice since there is only one, and I live between two huge cities! I don't get it because in Germany, every third marriage ends in divorce.

Thanks for your hug and valuable advice. I just know your organization you are setting up will be a success. Best of luck to you, and hope to see more of you around here!

Hannelore

everie third marrage ending in divorces is the same statistick used over heer as well HL, and their is a lot of counsellers to choise from and a good few commited to marrige or relashionship councelling. I don't know how readilie they are used but by non religouse people as they are all linked to a religouse communitie in some sape or form, maybee it puts some people off and attracts others. One would imagine their be a lot more councelloers within either of the cities you live neer. I am glade that things have stabilised for you right now, the gchild might be a bonding distraction long enough for you both to become affectionate enough with each other in order to do or continue the counseeling and growing together process you were doing.

back to that question of foundhervoice at last and dealing with dependent children and ex's. "What observations/helpful advice do y'all have post-divorce for women who are dealing with uncooperative ex-spouses regarding dependent children? Have your views changed over time?"

in my experinces its a bleeding nightmare and those that say they care bout the child (emotional, mental, physical) wellfaire don't. I think its a disgrace and a big shame on the allegide adult in the cinario.

I onlie kn0w a few well maybee in truth onlie one couple that had anytype of positive relashionship/effect in relation to the kids. Just the one couple, they din't like eacjh other and weer hurt by the break-up but both put the kids wellfaire first.....please tell me i am unusule in onlie knowing one couple who have managed the above succesfullie??please!!

chatty, thanks. I need to email her. I'm running out of some of my Arbonne products!

Hi ladies,

My ears were ringing. LOL.

I pop in almost every day, to read what's going on - but don't have a ton to say.

My time is really being spent trying to figure out how to make my "send out cards" business - a business (v.s. a hobby)that will support me.

I'm doing pretty well, when you consider I was with the same man for 23 yeas of my 41 year life. All I've known is how to be a married woman.

I grieve the loss of "what I thought I had", and the destruction of my family.

My daughter is on her own at 18, trying to make sense of the world. My 16 year old boy is living in MD with a family who is homeschooling him.

As I write this I weep for the loss of my children. The loss of everything I knew for sure. My children were my life.

I went from being a happily married, homescooling mother of two children...to being a single woman with an empty nest.

It's been a huge change in a short amount of time.

I believe that the best years of my life are yet to come.

hugs to ya all!

Danita

Danita, what a strong lady you are. If all this was going on in my life I would have been in the forum wailing away at each transition.

23 years of marriage and the children all living elsewhere;…wow, that would throw anyone through a loop.

Danita someday your children will grow into adults, and it is then that they realize what you have done for them. Believe me…it takes awhile, but when it comes, it comes like a glowing falling star right into your lap.

I was so happy to read your last sentence, "I believe that the best years of my life are yet to come."… this belief and your business endeavours will bring you into a new exciting world, where you, and just you, are the star.

Here's sending you lots of hugs and truckloads of strength to carry you through this extremely trying time.
Hannelore

Danita....Hi! We're all here, many of us rowing the same boat.... Losing the kids is the hardest thing of all after so many years and a lifetime of mothering. Wishing you find your way in a brave new world. I'm rooting for all of us....

We never saw all of this coming, did we?

Thank you ladies -

The anchor holds.

danita