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#120023 - 06/02/07 02:14 PM Age Limits
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
My 50 year old cousin recently married a 35 year old man, and they are happier than any couple I've seen in a long time.

What is your age "limit" for dating (both younger than you and older than you)?

Until my cousin's marriage, I wouldn't have considered somebody fifteen years younger than me. But they truly seem like a perfect fit and complement for each other.

Men choose younger women all the time, but I can't think of that many women who have. Cher had her "bagel boy", and Demi has Ashton.

Just curious about what you all think about this.

Whirlwind

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#120024 - 06/02/07 02:33 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
Quote:

My 50 year old cousin recently married a 35 year old man, and they are happier than any couple I've seen in a long time.





How could anyone argue with success? I say, whatever makes you happy.
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Follow our story of living, loving and laughing with a debilitating disease:

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#120025 - 06/02/07 06:29 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Anno]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
My 55 yr. old brother, who isn't that cute, honestly, and isn't rich, married a woman who is 36. They are a perfect match and deeply in love.

There is a 30 yr. old guy at work who is very interested in me and has an 11 yr. old daughter. He is gorgeous and I'm going to be 58 in July! I'm fighting the temptation to flirt back, but I don't need that right now. Everywhere I am, he's there staring at me. I catch him smiling and winking at me. I'm embarrassed but secretly flattered. He's young enough to be my son. I don't have money and I'm not young so what the heck could he see in me?? There are 20 somethings all over the place at work and easy too. He sits and reads all the time and watches me over the top of his book when he's not working.

Strange, strange...I've never considered a much younger man.
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120026 - 06/02/07 11:49 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
never thought about it but i started datting older than my age limite, then it averaged out as about 5 yrs older was standered....once younger by few yrs and i didn't like it. Now my partner and i are the same age their 6 mounths older or so. I no real experinces with it but i think it ddepends on the people and if they look at the present circumstances and belive they loved and valued, if they can hold that feeling after 10 yrs without letting nagging insecuritie and doubt creep in (about their ages in and life diffrences after those ten yrs or so) in then all power to them.

i just relised i turned THAT AGE were you get attractive to the younger ones just becouse of your incressed age and experinces etc.....i had the babie sitter doing some seriouse flirtting and invitting us out to clubs with them and their pals....all i could think of was ahhhhhhhhhhh helppppppppp lol. Then as i was preparring to get married i didnt see them anymore lol a big signal that one lol. They may look good but the imituritie annoyes me. Needless to say i dont have that babie sitter anymore....

so maybee for anyone single its more about maturitie and things in common and chemistry then age limite....go for it give it a chances if you nuthing to lose if nuthing else its an experinces....
_________________________
"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn

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#120027 - 06/03/07 12:22 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: celtic_flame]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Hey Newleaf, what about Demi Moore? She is making it work so why not you? Date him and see how it feel, you'll know pretty quick. You don't have to marry him, just have fun!!
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#120028 - 06/03/07 03:34 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: chatty lady]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I would be self conscious out in public though. I'm very shy in public. I've never had a really young man stir my interest as much as this guy does.

Its interesting to me to feel that way. I'm sure I'm just on the rebound.
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120029 - 06/04/07 04:43 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
In my opinion, I don't think dating at this point is a good idea. From what I've read you have had a difficult time breaking off your connection with your ex. This relationship was toxic and unhealthy. If you go straight into another one without doing some work on yourself (finding out why you stayed with the man you did) you will repeat the pattern.

This guy may just be a younger version of your ex.

I see nothing wrong with dating a younger man when some time has passed and you are 100% ready to have a healthy relationship. Enjoy the attention but don't go there.

Your right, it would be a rebound relationship.
Kate

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#120031 - 06/05/07 12:57 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
I haven't posted in a long time - have been busy with work, hobbies, yard work, etc. Every now and then I scan quickly through the posts.

My rule for age limits is to never date anyone younger than my son. haha, just kidding.

I prefer someone my own age because I think you have more in common, but I do have an open mind. I've dated men up to 14 years younger and married one that was 12 years younger. He ended up being a jerk, alcoholic and drug user, but it had nothing to do with his age - he was a natural idiot. Some men never grow up.
_________________________
Laura

laurapoplin.com

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#120032 - 06/07/07 05:14 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Daisygirl]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
When I owned my DQ there was a 17-year old boy who kept asking me out. He was serious too! I finally asked him what we'd do on a date...cruise around in his car? He said, yes. I told him I liked my dates to be at least legal drinking age but I finally figured out this kid was hoping to have a experiment with an older woman. EEEWWW!
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#120034 - 06/14/07 09:01 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I dated younger men when I was 22 until about 30 along with men my own age. For me though, it usually is so hard to even encounter someone who stirs me and excites me that no matter what the age,,if that happens I can't ignore it. But I usually prefer men my own age.

HOWEVER, there is this one guy that I work with who stirs everything within me...I've tried to ignore him and most of the time I do, but yesterday he sat right beside me and the chemistry was intense...

He is 31 and I'm not.

Just to verify why I have such a problem trusting women...there is this girl about 20 something who likes him. She came up to me outside and said you look your age today. She said, I'm just being frank and honest..you don't look as bright as you usually do and, by the way, how old ARE you. I said I'd have to be out of my mind to admit my age but, by the way, isn't it a shame that as tired an dull as I am today, I still look better than you! She loaded for bear now....I have to be very careful because now she confronts me in front of everyone and calls me "grandma" and makes comments about me being the same age as her mother. She keeps confronting me in front of the other girls trying to find out my age and making comments about my hair, my clothes, my taste in music, asks me what I do for fun...says they will have to take me out and party, etc.

I told them I don't go out to the clubs.

Now I find myself hiding out in my cubby and avoiding them.

At least
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Aarikja Ann

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#120035 - 06/15/07 03:29 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Quote:



He is 31 and I'm not.

Just to verify why I have such a problem trusting women...there is this girl about 20 something who likes him. She came up to me outside and said you look your age today. She said, I'm just being frank and honest..you don't look as bright as you usually do and, by the way, how old ARE you. I said I'd have to be out of my mind to admit my age but, by the way, isn't it a shame that as tired an dull as I am today, I still look better than you! She loaded for bear now....I have to be very careful because now she confronts me in front of everyone and calls me "grandma" and makes comments about me being the same age as her mother. She keeps confronting me in front of the other girls trying to find out my age and making comments about my hair, my clothes, my taste in music, asks me what I do for fun...says they will have to take me out and party, etc.

I told them I don't go out to the clubs.

Now I find myself hiding out in my cubby and avoiding them.

At least




At your age, you can afford to be gracious to ....a 20-yr. woman. She's younger than my lovely, bright engineer niece, for Pete's sake.

So what if she knew your age? And so what if she called you grandma? Aren't you proud to be a grandma?

As for the guy, pfffft. Just another penis. I'm sorry. Penises are dime a dozen.

Get over it, NewLeaf.

No I don't trumpet my age at work, where 80% of the workforce are men. But I have mysteriously told several guys, I'm almost as old as they are....when they called me "young lady". I thanked them for the compliment and walked away in my wrinkled, baggy pants and librarian-like tie-up purple leather shoes. It is a construction site. And no, I have no (well, almost not much)cleavage and never will. There's nothing show to these men, most of whom are great, polite guys to work with.

Well, I'm not waiting until I'm 60 to feel confident. Life's good at 48.

Now, do I sound like a woman you don't trust?

Jeepers.......
_________________________
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#120036 - 06/15/07 06:38 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
No, of course not, Orchid. You sound like a great woman. I guess its hard to explain. I'm not ashamed to be a grandmother. I'm crazy about my grandkids.

I'm looking at singlehood though and for me, a feral woman, I've not yet reached your level of acceptance and resignation to being of a certain cronological age.

This girl for some odd reason, considers me as a rival and that rankles me. I'm not as gorgeous as Demi Moore and this guy certainly isn't Ashton Kutcher, but I can sort of understand their relationship a bit now.

I just consider it another facet of reality I'm just beginning to understand where before, I would have poo poo'd the whole idea of a much younger man and a much older female.

He is gorgeous on so many levels.

The girl I mentioned has no style, is bovine, unkempt, doesn't wear any makeup, and is as crude as yesterday's soiled sheets. Why SHOULD I cow to her insults and attempts to belittle me in front of my co workers??

There is a definite double set of standards in our society. Whether we like to admit it or not, we all have our own filters and we like to pidgeon hole people to fit our own preconceived ideas of what is acceptable and palatable and what is not.

Personally, I will continue to be myself with a certain coquettish innocence with a flip side of years of experience and expertise. If that threatens the likes of the twenty somethings at work....Oh well, then.
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Aarikja Ann

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#120038 - 06/15/07 07:27 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
She came up to me last night as I was walking into work and got right in my personal space and rearranged my hair indicating that it would bother me to have a hair out of place...!

I'm sort of giving up on my silly notion and high school crush on the 30 something guy. I mean, what would he see in me??? The movie with Jack Nicholson, I think it was Anything Goes where Keanu Reeves had a crush on the female star who was much older than him was a cute idea, but how often does that happen in real life?

I'm just fascinated by him like watching a rare specimen or breed of bird or wild life. He is on every level just what I've been looking for but way too late. He's smart, funny, swarthy, bearded but not too much, shy, sexy, tender, creative, always reading (Mark Twain...lol), he has deep brown eyes that twinkle and dresses in suede leather which smells absolutely earthy and spicy!!, sometimes.

Last night I noticed as busy as we were, he didn't come to work until about an hour before I left. I wasn't as light and happy. I went to break and came back and there he was sitting. He looked up at me and smiled from ear to ear. My heart jumped and I beamed for the rest of the night then drove home mentally beating myself up and listening to Mariah Carey...loud!

I'm on the rebound and I'll get over it without sulleying this very sweet and nice guy.
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120039 - 06/15/07 07:51 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Dianne]
turtle Offline


Registered: 06/14/07
Posts: 37
I would love a younger man. Just think of the possibilities. 35-55. It would be teach and your pupil have stamina too.

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#120040 - 06/15/07 10:53 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: turtle]
katebcca Offline
Member

Registered: 07/09/05
Posts: 631
Loc: Victoria BC Canada
Oh please don't make a fool of yourself like I did.
A younger man paid a lot of attention to me after I left my husband. He always complimented me, seemed like he was flirting with me too.

After a while I started to fantasize about him. I wondered if he really was interested in me? It sure seemed like he was. This went on for months and I finally got up the nerve to ask him if he wanted to meet for coffee. I do remember thinking if he was really interested he would ask me but justified it by thinking maybe he was shy. I even talked it over with some friends and they said, why don't you ask him out, at least you will know. He did say ok and we arranged a time to meet.

He called me an hour before we were to meet up and left a message at my home number, he knew I was at work. He said the coffee shop we had arranged to meet at was closed for renovations and that we would have to meet up another time, said he had made other arrangements now.

I guess my intuition told me to call the coffee place and sure enough they were not closed, nope, no renovations either. I still cannot figure out why he acted so interested in me but it was clear that he did not want it to go anywhere. He was about 28 or 29 years old, I was 41. Maybe I reminded him of someone, maybe even his mother :-(

Anyway, I felt so stupid. Even after that incident he still treated me the same way. I just couldn't figure it out but decided it was best to avoid him. I guess I'll never know.


I remember when I was younger (maybe 19 or 20) I met this older man on a train. We had a wonderful conversation for 3 hours. He seemed so sweet, grandfatherly like. He gave me his address when we parted and said he'd love to hear from me. He was interested in knowing more about how my life was going to turn out. I had shared with him that I was just starting college. I never did contact him although I felt that he was genuinley interested. Oh he was, but not in the way I thought.

He must have looked up my last name in the phone book and found my parents address. I think he had asked my name and questioned me about the unusual spelling of it. He actually came to my parents home 3 hours away from his home to see me. Just dropped by. My Mom called me at a friends house and I told her to tell him she could not reach me. Much later he started sending love letters to my parents house. Man did he get his wires crossed. Just goes to show, it works both ways. Don't ever assume anything. "It makes an ass out of you and me as the saying goes"
Kate

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#120041 - 06/16/07 03:42 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: katebcca]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Kate, how I know and that's just what I don't need right now. I'm not foolish enough to think he could actually be romantically interested in me. I think I just fascinate him. I'm unique. That's all I can say. He's not the only one who notices me. I've always been unique. I used to walk into a restaurant and all eyes would focus my way. I used to lean over to my date and laughingly ask if I had a parrot on top of my head. I draw attention like a magnet. My whole family does. Mom and dad just called it the Epps charisma. I'm not trying to and I don't have three boobs or anything, some people just seem to draw attention and I'm one of them.

I would never act on a crush anyway. If he ever approached me I'd probably go out for a drink or something, but probably not. More likely I'd introduce him to my daughters. They're all that and a bag of chips!
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Aarikja Ann

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#120043 - 06/16/07 09:39 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
No, she just walked up to me and started rearranging my hair! I was too shocked to do anything. Then later I thought of all the things I could have said or done.

I'll be ready if it happens again though!
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120044 - 06/30/07 06:43 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
He was waiting for me when I got off work the other night and walked me to my car. He is very shy and I could tell it was a big step for him.

He indicated that he was interested in me. I have to tell you I was flattered and it felt good! I know it can't go anywhere because of the age difference but he is the sweetest, kindest, most gorgeous guy with in infectuous smile and deep dark brown eyes.

I can have sweet dreams can't I?
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120045 - 07/01/07 03:36 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Dreams only...
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www.nabbw.com
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#120046 - 07/01/07 04:47 PM Re: Age Limits
mrs_madness Offline
Member

Registered: 09/29/05
Posts: 217
Loc: Moscow
I was visiting my daughter in the US a couple of years ago, she lived in an apt. with her college roomies. The apt. was on 'fraternity row' surrounded by fraternity and sorority houses a couple of blocks from the campus. I stayed with them for 8 or 10 days.

The balcony of the apt. overlooked the driveway and front yard of the frat next door. I like being outside and sat on the balcony a lot, watched the college world go by. Became familiar with the frat boys who went in and out all the time.

One of them began to talk to me occasionally up on the balcony. We'd chat and one day he asked me over for a beer. I said sure fine--but the girls were horrified. They said he was a very very bad boy (which I had gathered from watching the many girls come and go out of the frat as well), but why not? So I went over and had a beer with him.

Didn't take long before he propositioned me. Knowing he had girls out the wazoo I asked him why he would want to proposition an old lady like me? He said because those girls were so young and stupid and easy and he's never been with an attractive experienced *older woman* like me.

I felt like Mrs. Robinson. I was utterly insulted. He wasn't interested in me,he just wanted to see if he could take down a new and kinky unusual conquest....an older women. I wanted to clout the brat with his floor lamp. I promptly left.

Younger men may show interest in older women, but she'd be a fool to fall for it. She's just another vanquished quarry on the stud's hit list. Just feeding his ego.

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#120047 - 07/01/07 07:50 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
Kate, I wouldn't assume that the young man got out of your date because of your age difference. There are many other reasons he changed his mind, and it may have not had anything do to with you, it could've been more about what was going on in his life.

I don't let the age thing get to me. We know many men our own age only date younger women, but I've dated a few younger ones who didn't care.
_________________________
Laura

laurapoplin.com

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#120048 - 07/02/07 12:25 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Daisygirl]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
All I can say is...he IS the kindest, sweetest, most chivalrous man I've met in ages. I just want to look at him once in a while and smile...I just enjoy immensely knowing he is here in the same room with me. I never have to touch him or anything. Just knowing he is there makes me feel better about the world.
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120049 - 07/19/07 04:07 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
hotflashgal Offline


Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 191
Loc: New Jersey
Hi,
Just found this thread and couldn't help but chime in. My husband is 21 years older than I am. I NEVER thought that I would date someone that much older let alone marry. However, he won me over with the old fashioned ways that a man used to treat a woman and I loved it. There were NO games...it was so refreshing. Although there are challenges in our ways of thinking...he is ultra conservative, where I am more liberal, we have a great time together. Believe me, I thought through very carefully what my life would be like in the future before making the comittment, but I know it is worth it.
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Customize & Personalize Invites for all occasions at Night Sweats Diva and Be My Valentine

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#120050 - 07/19/07 03:04 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: hotflashgal]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
hotflashgirl, how long have you been married and how did you meet? Aren't I nosey? I know a couple that had an eleven year disparity in age and I can't say that it was a bad thing. Age didn't seem to play a part in their marriage. They were from the greatest geneartion and have both died so that's why I speak in past tense. I didn't wnat you to think they divorced.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#120051 - 07/19/07 09:04 PM Re: Age Limits
hotflashgal Offline


Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 191
Loc: New Jersey
I have been married for a little over 3 years. We met ballroom dancing. My husband openly admits that he was looking, I was just content to do my dancing, but looks like the universe had other plans for me! He also admits that he prefers younger women. As I mentioned in my previous post, I had no interest in an older man. My husband does not look his age...I thought he was in his late 50's but he was 65!! This Sept. he will be celebrating his 70th. My 17 year old daughter thinks it is totally gross, and my 20 year old son is happy that I have someone who cares for me, and has made my life easier. I had been single for a long time, so marriage was a huge adjustment for me, but it would have been like that no matter who I married. I had forgotten that marriage is work, but it is worth it. Here is something to make it even more interesting.....he has a law practice that has been established for years and it is 3 hours away. So, he is only home from Thurs.-Sun. Actually, this has worked out great for us because it gives me time with my children during the week and to spend the huge amount of time on my business that I need. He loves his work and would go crazy if he didn't have it. When he comes home, we spend our time together. Some women I have spoken to think it is a great set up..haha. Even though it is not conventional, it works for us.
_________________________
Customize & Personalize Invites for all occasions at Night Sweats Diva and Be My Valentine

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#120052 - 07/19/07 11:16 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: hotflashgal]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Sounds like a marriage made in heaven to me. I say if it works for you, then it is wonderful and that's all that matters.

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#120053 - 07/19/07 11:43 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: jawjaw]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Hotflashgal, sounds like a marriage made in heaven to me, you've got it all. A man to love and time to be your own woman. Does he have a friend??
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#120054 - 07/20/07 01:34 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: chatty lady]
hotflashgal Offline


Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 191
Loc: New Jersey
Chatty....you can't imagine how many women say that, and I agree. I became quite used to having my own time over the years, so this does work out great. I think, once my daughter leaves for college, and I have more time I would welcome more physical company. Right now, my days are so full with my full time teaching job, my new business and my teenage daughter who is home for one more year, that I often struggle to find time for myself. For years I was a bit of a clinging vine, if you know what I mean, but as I have gotten older, I have become quite comfortable with myself and don't need so much attention! You never know what "package" the right fit will come in. So...keep your eyes open! LOL
_________________________
Customize & Personalize Invites for all occasions at Night Sweats Diva and Be My Valentine

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#120055 - 07/20/07 07:37 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: hotflashgal]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
What a neat arrangement. I didn't realize you still had a child at home. This also gives you time to be with her before she goes away. I think it's great. I have been happily married for 28 years, but I have also noticed that I am much more comfortable spending time alone. It's good to have space in a marriage to do what you like without your spouse.

I have a friend who has a similar marraige arrangement. Her husband is a way a few days a week and it also seems to be working for them. I think it's best to set your own ideals within each marriage instead of going by what SHOULD be.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#120056 - 07/20/07 07:37 AM Re: Age Limits
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I find myself sick of shoulds at midlife.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#120058 - 07/21/07 06:13 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
Sick and tired of SHOULDS myself. That is one part of midlife that I embrace with open arms - dropping shoulds.

Anne, my partner is semi-retired, due to illness. I will work for a long time yet, in one capacity or another. It is not a problem. Really.
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#120059 - 07/21/07 07:49 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Quote:

OK, so many of you have found good relationships with younger men. So how DO you handle the retirement issue, assuming the relationship is long-term, when it's time 4 U 2 retire and he still has 15 years to go B4 he can collect his pension or social security???

If the guy was rich, he'd be able to retire when he wants, but the rest of them/us......how would/do you all handle this?




I wasn't under any impression there were alot of women here on this forum with much younger men as partners.

I am 48, he is 64. He retired ..hmm...time flies...at 58. He just simply had a reasonable pension because he was with his firm for 30 yrs. In his retirement, he is VERY active on the local cycling scene and leads in advocacy efforts on negotiating for more bike lanes, facilities, etc. I am not concerned too much about his health, because he is probably in top shape compared to many men his age. His doctor was impressed with his last checkup. This is a guy who has logged in over 100,000 kms. in past 15 years of cycling.

At this time, it works.. because a) I expect to work until mandatory retirement age. b) We enjoy our free together and travel...now. Not wait around for me to retire.

He has in the past has been gone for a few weeks, even few months on long-distance cycling trips, much of it, he does solo. While I slug away at my career. This is absolutely fine, since during times away, we communicate every day. Always a story to share with each other.

I do have my own interests, which right now a full-time job interferes.

It is great is have someone who is not as stressed as the full-time working partner, where the working partner can talk out issues and if the other person, is willing, offers thoughts and ideas....which he does.

Since I was single for a long time before I met him, the reality that most likely I will be alone when I get quite old, because most likely I will outlive him, doesn't bother me much. After all, I owned my own home before I met him...that's how little I expected to meet a guy (of my dreams) at that time.

OUr lives are probably made easier, because I don't wish to have children...which I know for a fact, it reduces pressures for him. (He already has 2 grown children.)

SO important for a woman to learn to enjoy/living by herself at times in her life. When the time comes, when we have no choice, we won't fall totally apart.

If one partner works vs. another one who has retired for awhile, there needs to be discussion at beginning how finances will work out during the relationship and when one partner outlives the other, particularily if there is a significant age difference.
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#120061 - 07/29/07 02:28 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I know this is an older topic, and I've been gone for a long time, but I just have to update my previous post about the younger guy here at work and myself.

I opened a myspace account under the name AarikaK (which will be my new name after the name change) just for grins and giggles. Well, I got such an enormous reaction that I just cancelled it completely and most, I'd say 95% of the respondents were young men from 18-48.

At first I was sort of flattered, but then it became a burden. I found myself spending way too much time updating the space and trying to correspond. So many of them, and the nicer ones, wanted to meet at a hotel or at my house....ya, right??!! I couldn't handle it..honestly!

So, the guy at work is the apple of my eye. He is gorgeous, courteous, intelligent and I'm positively obsessed with him at this point and now am trying to back way, way off. He could hurt me real bad.

Ladies, I think that at the age of 16 I experienced an emotional "marker" in my life and as a result, emotional growth stopped at that marker. In some ways that is a bad thing, but in many ways it has been a blessing as most of our aging and just emotional/mental state originates in the mind anyway, which is the seat of hormonal production and in turn sexual deterioration or slowed advancement.

I think 18, therefore I AM 18 in many, many ways. This is just something I've recently learned. Basically, I'm a freak. The younger women hate me or copy my "style". Out of the older ones I work with, only one is my good friend and she is so sweet and a professional who has fallen on some hard times. She knows all about the guy and she's cool with it.

I've never felt so isolated as I am right now though. For the first time in my life I realize just what a freak I really am and wonder if there ever will be a place in this world for me, one that I will be comfortable in.
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Aarikja Ann

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#120062 - 07/29/07 03:03 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Well, NewLeaf I have zero interest in thinking 16 or 18 yrs. old. The only good thing for me at those ages, I was in a highly artistic productive mode...I won some poetry and art poster contests. And was biking..um about 5-6 kms. each ride.

As for boys, how I felt about my looks, then...awkward. I was your scholastically smart, but geeky, friendly girl.

Forget it. I actually began to peak in life growth, how I look and think from early 30's onward.

May I submit something? many of those geeky girls who I knew, who weren't the flirting type, who didn't have a wonderful figure at that time...have blossomed into something incredible.... 20-30 yrs. later. I have met them. They have great relationships with their hubby/partner, some have children and most of these gals have good careers.

In a way it was useful for you to understand what it means to be courted by...the wrong (anonymous) parties. Maybe some of those puppy men on the Internet were pulling your leg. Many guys on the Internet do enjoy pulling wool over each other, play pranks...I see it all the time on the cycling Internet forums. It's a different culture when a bunch of men don't really know you on the INternet. Their joking on you gets sillier/wilder and there's false flirtation at times. It can be quite cruel...hey let's see what this old xxxxx is worth...Let's see how "smart" she is.

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#120063 - 07/29/07 04:21 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I'm sure that does happen sometimes, Orchid, and I feel sorry for those unfortunate people who fall into that category. In my case, however, the people were definitely legitimate and within my area...I was able to verify nearly all of them.

I know what you mean about being awkward as a teen. So was I right before I blossomed and was in the Miss Illinois contest. Then things began to change. I was a tomboy and an intellectual dreamer. Had big plans to change the world.

Some of the guys I met, I still keep in contact with and we have an ongoing "frendship" but the one I want most is the one I'm having to be most careful with. He is very special and I hope to have him in my life for a very long time if I'm blessed enough.

I'm unique in that my IQ is exceptional and I still have the same emotions and reactions and whatever else it is of a very young woman. I honestly perceive women my own age that I work with as "older women" and treat them with the respect due to someone of their state in life, but I don't in anyway feel in the same group or relate to them.

I am in many ways an inigma and feel very alien. Thanks for responding to my post however. Hope you have a great day and get out there and peddle for me...I'm stuck at my desk all day.
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120064 - 07/29/07 05:24 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
New Leaf,
I would really urge you to take this time to truly love yourself exactly as you are. You don't need a man to feel good. It is possible to love yourself. When you have that confidence, that look in your eye that says you are comfortable in your own skin, you will attract the man of your dreams.

Just my opinion...:-))
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Casey Dawes
Wise Woman Shining
Supporting women business owners to step into their power as business leaders.

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#120065 - 07/29/07 06:18 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Casey]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Casey, I think I'm probably too comfortable in my own skin. I have a love/hate relationship with myself. Its very hard to explain, but I can't seem to fit in anywhere. I haven't found my niche and maybe that's because I keep changing all the time.
I call it morphing. If I attracted the kind of man who is looking for someone who doesn't need him and doesn't want a deep intimate relationship, then that's not the kind of man I'm looking for anyway.

A big difference I've noticed in both older men and older women is a kind of resignation or acceptance of the shoulda coulda's...or the shouldn't ve's...older people seem to use their chronological age as an excuse to grow old and lose step with changing times, styles, tastes.

My ex kept trying his hardest to make me fit into his cage. Constantly reminding me that there is a pidgeon hole for you dear, now stuff yourself ito it. Like the Gingerbread woman, life will have to catch me first and that is precisely the very thing about myself I like most.
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120066 - 07/29/07 08:52 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
NewLeaf, I'm glad to hear you've backed off the internet sites. It sounds as though you are learning more about yourself since being alone. I think you should continue to do this before jumping into another relationship. You owe it to yourself.
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#120067 - 08/07/07 01:14 AM Re: Age Limits
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
OK when I started this post it was purely because of my cousin's recent success with a younger guy. Now I have a situation of my own.

I've met a guy who is 24 (and I am 48). We are thrown together quite often at my second place of employment and have become very good friends.

To make a long story short, he's thought I was great for a long time, and my feelings for him have grown too. This isn't a "younger guy wanting an experience from an older woman". He's only had a few girlfriends. He was big in size when growing up, and I think even at home they gave him a hard time, so his self confidence isn't over the top.

His size is still an issue to him, but his self confidence is growing. I don't mind stocky/sort of heavy, and think he's cute as can be.

I made a huge mistake the other night and kissed him. He immediately latched onto that and hoped for more of a relationship, but as of today we've had some good LONG talks and everything is OK. The friendship will remain intact no matter what (he's very mature for his age, that part of him doesn't seem young at all).

Bottom line is, after all of this talking, he has the most old-fashioned values I've ever run across. He is not looking for just a night of fun or an "experience", he is honestly just looking for love.

I've thrown up every obstacle I can think of and he understands how I feel (that we can be great friends, but this can never go anywhere else and I should not have allowed the kiss, it was my fault, I take total responsibility and I'm sorry, it won't happen again). I've said I'm too old, he's too young. I've said I'll die much sooner than him and he'll be alone. I've said he may want children someday and it isn't fair. I've said we have nothing in common except a physical attraction (which isn't enirely true) and that isn't enough. I've said we're too different and it will never work. I've said much more, but you get the drift.

But I can't help thinking about it. He is a gentleman who holds doors and is polite and respectful. Since our talks, he won't even give me a hug goodbye unless I initiate it, he's afraid to do anything I don't want. And he has the best communication skills I've ever run across from anyone (even the Ph.D.'s I work with).

Don't y'all scream at me, I know this is nuts. I'd never let him know I have these thoughts, and yet I do. My goal (if there was a "man goal") was to find a nice "flannel shirt kind of guy" who is about my age and can travel and have some fun in retirement. But that hasn't been found and I'm wondering.

Maybe part of it is because my last "guy" is ten years my senior and is always in crisis/needy. We've more or less broken up now (I keep trying and he doesn't want to). Even though he has been good to me, it was/is stressful alot of the time. He never wants to do anything "permanent" but is willing to "hang out" forever. Our views on sex are not even in the same universe, and I haven't had a spark or any attraction to him for a LONG time. Even though he's a nice guy, I've known that isn't right for a LONG time and actually think the relationship is toxic to me.

I'm not on the rebound. I get a fair amount of attention from the male species, but can't help being drawn to this younger guy. I know he'll be good as gold to whatever woman is lucky enough to get him.

OK, y'all go ahead. Tell me to run for the hills, screaming like my hair is on fire.

Why am I doing this to myself?

Arg!

Whirlwind

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#120068 - 08/07/07 01:29 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Dear friend....you are not only "doing this to yourself" but you're "doing this to him" as well, it sounds like. The kiss to him meant instant connection and because he is so immature in love dealings, he interpreted it to "fit" his need(s). Its hard for someone that is NEEDY to let go of a good feeling like that. Someone who needs to feel loved. They take the kiss and their mind says "move to the next level."

Could it be that you're using him to fulfill your own emotional needs because he is emotionally immature, easily manipulated, and because you know you can?

It sounds as if he is fragile and of course, inexperienced in love AND young. You have stated WHAT you wanted but didn't find it, so could it be that you're trying to make him into what you want? You can't change people to fit a mold and I think you are doing him more harm than good by leading him on. (Did I say that? eeek!)

I'm sorry if this offends you, but what I read here is an older, more experienced in love, kind of woman, who is looking for someone to match her own idea of a perfect mate, leading a young man who is seeking permanent approval and a permanent love, down a dead end street.

If you don't want to see him, date him, or have a relationship with him, then don't, but whatever you do, don't keep him dangling until something better comes along.

Oh gosh...I hope that wasn't harsh because I don't mean it that way, and I can only respond to what I read. Remember, I'm on the outside looking in.

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#120069 - 08/07/07 01:46 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: jawjaw]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
I posted my response much earlier. As I said my situation is completely the opposite, since he is 16 yrs. older.

Well, let's just think hard for once...if you had a SON who fell for a much older woman.

I know of 2 close friends who each married a guy who was at least 7 yrs. younger than each of them. wasn't as significant, but enough that the mother of the son was extra ....vigilant (but friendly) in her relationship with the bride/wife.

Both guys had excellent relationships with their respective mothers....so they weren't looking for a mother figure in their lives. Yes, they both share childcare, housedhold stuff, etc.

The 3rd sitaution I am aware of, the guy is in late 20's, she is in her mid-40's with 3 children. I know the father of the son. He is abit resigned about his son and feels his son is looking for mother figure in life. Parents had divorced over 20 yrs. ago.

The late 20's guy has had some problems with drugs, finding steady employment, etc.

Ok, the father is in his early 50's who wants his son to make proper sense of his life. No, he doesn't approve totally of what is going on. But his son is an adult.

I guess, my point is....is just know the guy for a long time before settling down. He WILL change...I mean get real..we didn't know ourselves in our late 20's, early -30's did we?
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#120070 - 08/07/07 01:55 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: jawjaw]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
JawJaw, I know what you say, you say with love. So blast away. That's why I posted this.

Funny thing is, I haven't thought of "using him" until something better comes along. I am not like that.

Truthfully I have "found" what I thought I was looking for several times, but the older men are always such asses when it comes to sex that it's a total turnoff.

I'm not leading him on. After our last conversation several days ago, in his mind, it's over. He wasn't happy about it, but I was the "mature strong one." His last comment was "I'm really sad this won't work out, but I'm glad we've preserved the friendship."

I just can't help wondering if we both went into it with open minds if it might work. Of all the men I know/have run across over the past years, he is the most gentlemanly of them all, and seems much older when looked at in that way.

Why is this stuff so damn hard sometimes? If I was younger, or he was older, it wouldn't make a bit of difference. Should it just because of a number? That is the real question.

Thanks for the input girlfriend!

Whirlwind

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#120071 - 08/07/07 02:10 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Gottcha....and I commend you for following your instincts/heart. I didn't realize it was over. Not that it should be...I wasn't saying that. I was only looking at the fact that I felt you really weren't interested in HIM but the things that he represented in your mind (i.e., the gentleman ways, his politeness, etc) and that these were things you were really looking for, things that pleased you in a man, but you really weren't interested in HIM. So forgive me for not making myself clear on that.

I will add that if my 24-year old son was interested in a 48 year old woman, I would be devastated. Not because she couldn't be the most fabulous woman alive, but because I would want him to have a partner that could share things on his same level of maturity, see things through a 24 year olds eyes and heart, and grow in those experiences with him, NOT speed them up for him. Does that make sense?

You are way ahead of a lot of single women in that you know what you want AND in some respects, what you don't want. Age is like everything else, it does have some boundaries obviously; otherwise we would all be deliquents. However, it shouldn't be about age, but about the people involved.

Do you think perhaps the age thing bothers YOU inside more than him? If so, why do you think it does? Oh and bravo for keeping the friendship intact! Wuhoo!

Just go ahead and shoot me, but I want to add one more tidbit. In my dating years, I found that once you shared that kiss, you could never go back to "just friends." I hope this isn't your experience as well because it sounds like a very good friendship!

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#120072 - 08/07/07 02:11 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Orchid, good comments. If I had a son doing this, I'd be mortified.

And I know we all change. I'm not the same person now that I was at 20, 30, and beyond. And I'll be different at 50 and 55, and 60 than I am now.... We all change throughout life.

I guess what finally got to me was his last comment. He said something to the effect of, "everybody is always looking for happiness but we all have so many rules that sometimes we won't let it happen. Why can't we just be happy for today, since we might not have tomorrow anyway." And I can't get that out of my mind.

Thanks again gals.

Whirlwind

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#120073 - 08/07/07 02:22 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
JawJaw, the trouble is, I "was" interested in him (not in using him, he's really a "good guy.")

The age thing did bother me initially, but then it disappeared. And I didn't look at him as being younger than me, I looked at him as somebody who understood me. And I felt like I understood him too. This makes no sense at all. We could have conversations that would last for hours, about everything under the sun, about thoughtful subjects. Never mind that he didn't know who Kool and the Gang are. ROFL.

Crap. I should have become a nun long ago. Black IS my best color....

Whirlwind

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#120074 - 08/07/07 07:57 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
Have you actually brought up the big WHAT IF? to him? Y'know, WHAT IF you two got together, and has he thought about the ramifications in the age difference? Is he just agreeing with you to be agreeable in a situation where he feels you have the upper hand, or does he have a lot unsaid?

IF he doesn't have a bunch of wild oats to sow and IF he would be happy without babies... I'm just thinking out loud here & don't have any major opinions...

Stranger things have worked out. And simpler things haven't. Food for thought.
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#120075 - 08/07/07 11:29 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: meredithbead]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Whirlwind, this is so typical of me, but all I can think is...what would his mother say? Can you picture that? Does it bother you?
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#120076 - 08/07/07 11:55 AM Re: Age Limits
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
I threw out every negative "what if" I could think of. And I'm still running them through my head, just to keep myself convinced that I'm right.

There's not much "unsaid" on his part (he has no problem communicating and has brought up much food for thought), and I don't feel that I have/had the "upper hand" (only in that when I said no to continuing it there was no more discussion).

I did read an article recently that made me laugh. It was about younger men with older women. They enjoy the relationship until the older woman is gone, then they go out and find a younger woman to have a family with. That "is" the more traditional "older/younger" relationship. LOL.

And Dotsie, of course I've never met his mother. But I think she's an avid member of the "man of the month club" and is not very discriminating herself. So I doubt it would be an issue.

It's still fun to think about, even if it can't be.

Sigh...

Whirlwind

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#120077 - 08/07/07 12:54 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
If she's a member of the "man of the month club" then she may not have a problem with it.

How about your family? Would you feel cool with introducing him to them?

Just food for thought.
_________________________
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www.nabbw.com
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#120078 - 08/07/07 02:16 PM Re: Age Limits
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
I can't help but think that if she is a member of the "man of the month" club, then there's the possibility that she couldn't have been a very nuturing Mom in the first place; thus.....he could be looking for that Mom replacement. Just another thought...more food.

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#120080 - 08/07/07 07:15 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
Laurel Offline


Registered: 01/10/07
Posts: 431
Loc: Oklahoma, USA
As a mother of a son 25 and one 22 I would be very upset if a woman that much older was dating one of my sons.

You have to also consider they haven't had children of their own and will probably want some one day even if they say they don't now. A 40 something woman can't give that to them.

On the flip side of that situation, I've known two women in their 40's and 50's who have married much younger men and have regretted it. Their boy toys took them for all they had and flew the coop.

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#120081 - 08/07/07 08:49 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Laurel]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Immaturity and "neediness" isn't connected to age. I have known both young men and older men to possess those qualities (and young and old who haven't).

I do not want to "take care of" anybody (not in that way, I think you all know what I mean with that statement). And I don't want anybody depending on me for their happiness. A partnership is not one sided, each person contributes. I suppose that's why I've remained single, life is great not having to deal with that (I was married for 18 years to a man who didn't know how to turn on the washing machine and who pouted when he didn't get his way). Geez.

I guess we all need to be careful no matter what our age. Lonely men and women are more likely to let themselves be taken advantage of (like the women mentioned in Laurel's post above, losing everything to their "boy toys." How sad. And I know that happens every day, to men and to women. I'm sure we can all cite several examples that we have personal knowledge of).

I did mention this situation to my brother and his reply amazed me (but then he's always surprising me these days). He said "who cares as long as you're happy, life is short."

Then I asked how he'd feel if one of his sons dated a woman that much older and he said "why would it matter if they were happy?"

I know there are definite thoughts and opinions on both sides of this issue. This has been interesting reading!

Thanks again gals!

Whirlwind

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#120082 - 08/08/07 03:19 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Quote:

Immaturity and "neediness" isn't connected to age. I have known both young men and older men to possess those qualities (and young and old who haven't).

I do not want to "take care of" anybody (not in that way, I think you all know what I mean with that statement). And I don't want anybody depending on me for their happiness. A partnership is not one sided, each person contributes. I suppose that's why I've remained single, life is great not having to deal with that (I was married for 18 years to a man who didn't know how to turn on the washing machine and who pouted when he didn't get his way). Geez.

I guess we all need to be careful no matter what our age. Lonely men and women are more likely to let themselves be taken advantage of (like the women mentioned in Laurel's post above, losing everything to their "boy toys."




Take your time to know some other male friends well. Has he dated or known a woman for awhile or recently?

As for guys wanting or not wanting children, well I think some guys are like some gals....some definitely know early on that they don't wish to have children. A good indicator is if the guy is clear in his own head for past few years, what the true daily responsibilities of parenthood are/has looked after/taught children (ie. younger siblings, students etc.). Some men just don't know...because they have NEVER looked after children/babysat at all or was the youngest in family.

If I may add, what the reaction of my family was...siblings were fine. Parents took awhile... but then in our extended family, I have a great-aunt who is 20 years younger than her (now dead) husband. She is wife #2 and they both had 7 children after lst one died. So great-aunt is almost same age as my...father....her husband is actually my father's uncle.
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#120083 - 08/08/07 11:50 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
Jane_Carroll Offline
member

Registered: 07/06/06
Posts: 1521
Loc: Alabama
Whirlwind,

The reactions from the women here...are going to be pretty much like the reactions from the world...some will think you're crazy...some will understand perfectly...some won't care one way or the other...

And the truth of the matter is...there are only two opinions that matter...yours and his...
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#120084 - 08/11/07 02:50 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Jane_Carroll]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Well, I had the younger guy over to my home, as he had asked me out, the other night and he was a perfect gentleman. I'm totally blown away by him. He was romantic, thoughtful, funny, interesting, comfortable to be around and interested in me.

He wanted nothing but to please me and to have an enjoyable experience. It was wonderful for both of us. I don't want a relationship with anyone. I'm not looking to get married again. I don't give a big hang what his mother thinks or his father or anyone else for that matter. The man is 31! In this day when 1 in 4 marriages ends in divorce, and lines that have defined us in the past are fading, its not such a long shot to find that what you're looking for is right in front of you if only for a short time.

Life is too short to waste even one minute saying "I shouldn't, I'd better not, What will people think?" We had a memorable night.
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Aarikja Ann

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#120085 - 08/11/07 02:59 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
And if he doesn't "please" you, how does he express this to you?

well, you'll find out.

My honey, the much older guy, just says: "do it yourself". And he's right...I would anyway, if I was single...which many things I've done alone when he's not around or before I met him.
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#120086 - 08/11/07 03:39 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
NewLeaf Offline
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Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Orchid, I'm not sure what you mean. I just meant he wanted me to like him. He showed me his business card and told me about his life prior to meeting me. He is so refreshingly innocent and easy to get along with. I loved every minute of his company.
I'm just as innocent and unaffected as he is. We looked at each other's feet. I gave him a foot massage. It was so funny. We had a great time and had a few Modelo's and listened to Van Morrison and watched Seinfeld..I'm still smiling!
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#120087 - 08/11/07 11:08 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
chatty lady Offline
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Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Newleaf, Go for it, you are certainly both adults no matter what the age difference. We can have a pleasurabe time with someone of another sex without looking for a commitment. I go to dinner and meet many men of all ages at private home outings and we have a great time. Do I love them, NO! Am I looking for a commitment NO! When the night is over we go to our seperate homes and thats that!! I don't even ask a man his age, who cares? I also keep my age to myself, its not their business, Its not like I'm auditioning for something!!
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#120088 - 08/12/07 01:44 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: chatty lady]
NewLeaf Offline
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Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I never would have agreed with you in another life, Chatty, but at this stage I couldn't agree more. Did any of you see that movie where Meryl Streep was a psychologist and her client was gorgeous Uma Thurman? The whole theme was about an older woman with a younger man who just happened to be Meryl Streep's son.

I'm not looking for anything. I just completely enjoy his company. Some people are very special people and he is one of them. I feel honored and just plain happy to be around him. I was thinking about it this morning and its like an internal message was that I'm special too and shouldn't think he's more special than I am. He should also be honored to be with me.

Because I'm very sensitive and easily hurt, I have surrounded myself with "a few good men" to cushion the fall if it should happen that he moves on. Its a self protective feature.

I like myself and can be alone, but I find that men bring good challenge and incentive to morph and improve those things I can, especially my self image and internal messages about myself.
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#120089 - 08/19/07 12:32 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Dianne]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
My ex's 20 yr. old daughter and I sat and talked for a long time last night about relationships and men. She is in love with a man 24 yrs. her senior and he with her. He is old enough to be her father.
I asked her why she would fall for a man over twice her age and she said because of the way he treated her when they first started dating. He is Hispanic and very romantic and thoughtful of her.
He has children older than her. She has had a very traumatic childhood and has been treated like crap. This guy, even though much older than her fills some very basic needs for her.
She says age doesn't matter at all to her and that it shouldn't to me either. That's the closest I've ever felt to her.
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#120090 - 08/19/07 01:09 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
She's only 20..and she barely knows herself. Is she living at home or out on her own, holding down a job?

HOw many of us knew ourselves at the tender age of 20? The following year at 21 I fell into a deep depression because I was still resolving stuff with my parents. Sounds like your ex-'s daughter still needs to resolve abit of stuff. (Not necessarily involving you at all.)

Jeez, NewLeaf. I have no problem with big age gaps but both partners should have experienced some living after leaving the womb.

It would be diferent if the young woman was in my case 30 and the guy was 54. At least, she has had some years of life experience after flying mama's and papa's home.

I do have a strong opinion about this because my partner is 16 years older than I.

I firmly believe a woman first has got to get her career / job experience first preferably finish at higher level of education beyond high school since alot of jobs these days require more than high school. She should have also dated and travelled before she enters into such a relationship.

It helps enormously that the woman has demonstrated financial independence and has carved her own distinct identity as woman in how she relates to her family, friends, work colleagues and community.

THEN, she enter into such a relationship with more wide open eyes. She at first, must become a strong person in her own right.

I will say NewLeaf, that I did fall for my partner...but I kept my home, which I bought the year before I met him and lived in it for the next 14 years. I paid off the mortgage. I didn't move in to share a home with my partner. Nor did I have romantic visions I was going to help raise his children. My determination to understand MYSELF was important....and I could have only done it, if I had my own space.

Of course we spent alot of time at each other's homes.

Hope that your ex's daughter becomes strong in understanding herself and becoming to know the best skills she can use ....does know her own gifts/skills/talents at 20?
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#120091 - 08/20/07 09:12 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
NewLeaf Offline
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Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
She is one of the most mixed up kids I've ever known. I had nothing to do with that one though. She is starved for real affection and self respect.
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#120092 - 08/21/07 03:41 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
Good point 0rchid about a woman trulie knowing herself, getting financial indipendences, a carrier etc.

I just wonderring weather this is the onlie way, some woman don't want or have the oppertunitie for a carrier their mabe shop girles or whatever (do disrespect to shop girles) then their oppertunities for promosion etc is limited. I just hinking that apart from the one way that you exemplified that theirs also manie more was or manie more pathes. For this young ladie one of her paths could be to spend a little or a lot of time with this older man....Even if some of what she may be getting is re-parenting from this older man....if theirs respect and tenderness then thats a good start or even just a good time for a short while.

I went out with- dated a older person when i was kinda young and it did me nuthing but good, in short it was a positive experinces even if it didn't last for forever (if their is such a thing)

lets see how it turnes out, it might be a great surprise and one the young ladie shouldn't miss out on according to her path in life
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#120093 - 08/21/07 04:30 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: celtic_flame]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Carrier...clue me in about how you are using this word?

If a young woman could benefit from reparenting, better she get it from a platonic relationship.

If already, NewLeaf can sense the girl's need for affection and self-respect...

Celtic, you grew from that relationship. You were lucky.

One of my sisters had a close female friend same age as her, where when they were in high school, her friend fell for a 35 year old married man with children. She was only 19 yrs. old, for Pete's sake. He was not divorced from his wife.

He returned to his wife. She was one of these intelligent, but geekish girls.

Happenend to another girl in my high school class. she too fell for an older man, in his 40's. She was 18 yrs. Not sure what happened afterwards. She too was highly brainy, not considered attractive and geeky.

The reaction of the girls in class..was frankly, disgust. I think we all sensed...just abit unhealthy, when one is still a teenager.

20 yrs. old is barely beyond teenager.
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#120094 - 08/21/07 04:44 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
Can I give you another scenario....I know of 17 yr. old boy who met a woman, who was 25. This is via the Internet.

He spent a few months with her in Canada. He came from Tennessee. I did meet the boy, intelligent but really he was so green. Never lived away from home. He never realized how hard it was to convince employers to get him a work visa...especially when he literally had no work experience.

She got accidentally pregnant. She miscarried.

The 2 people just have an Internet friendship now. She has learned her lesson ...by an extremely hard way.

The reverse, a much younger man for a woman old enough to be her mother...well, hopefully the guy has dated, lived on his own, and is not looking for a Momma/rich purse.
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#120095 - 08/22/07 07:48 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
OK, how about another twist on "singlehood?"

Just as a quick update, the young guy and I have become close friends. He finally understood that I could not commit to anything, that things have to go "day by day." Not that I don't still love him to death, but this is a sticky issue.

Now for the "new" question. I have been asked out by a man I work with (a little older than me, much more appropriate for my circumstances). He has recently broken up with someone and said he'd had to wait to be totally out of that relationship before dating again.

Do any of you date multiple people at the same time, and if yes, how do you handle it? I know that dating is not the same thing as commitment or marriage, but it still seems like it could be a delicate issue.

Just wondering.

Whirlwind

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#120096 - 08/23/07 01:02 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
Anno Offline
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Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
Orchid, I believe that Celtic meant career.

Dating multiple men. I don't anymore, in a committed relationship, but I have. And, as long as you are honest about it, it can be great. Caller id helps, too.
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#120097 - 08/24/07 03:25 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Anno]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I don't know about other relationships, but the much younger guy with me has an 8 yr. old daughter and has been in a few relationships. From what I've experienced personally he lost his twin brother and has had some other life experiences. He's not green and he couldn't be looking for money because I don't have any and he knows it. He's not niave and in many respects is much more mature than I am.

I just admire the heck out of him because he is very down to earth and real. I hope we can be together as long as possible. When 3 out of 5 marriages ends in divorce and life is so short anyway, why not enjoy the company of a special person for however long you are fortunate enough to have them in your life?
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#120098 - 09/13/07 02:22 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Dianne]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I asked a very nice looking man 31 yrs. old why he was attracted to and preferred older women...much older women, than himself. This was his reply. I thought it was a very wonderful compliment to we seasoned and sexy females.


The allure of a woman older than me...
--She's sensual
--She's lighthearted
--She's passionate about something
--She has a zest for life
--She thinks foreplay is underrated
--She's open minded
--She has a personality
--She loves her taste on my lips
--She's comfortable in her skin
--She's adventurous
--She tries most everything once
--She's proportionate
--She's clean
--She's yummy on the eyes and yummy to the taste
--She's aggressive, passive, rough, and soft
--She's not afraid to express herself
--She knows that being friends outside the bedroom makes for things better inside the bedroom
--She's cultured to some extent
--She has lots of stories and experiences to share
--She can laugh at herself
--She is not consumed with work
--She respects the time I want to spend with my friends
--She's active outside the home
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#120099 - 09/13/07 02:36 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
And...she'll never tell you she wants to have your baby
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#120100 - 09/13/07 02:43 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Dianne]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Well, unless she's up for artificial insemination like that mother who agreed to carry her daughter's baby for she and her husband...anybody read about that??
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#120102 - 09/15/07 12:37 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Just wanted to let you know I enjoy reading this thread. Even though I've been married for 28 years, it's interesting to hear how "the other half" lives, as in married vs. single.
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#120103 - 09/16/07 01:50 AM Re: Age Limits
chatty lady Offline
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Registered: 02/24/04
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Loc: Nevada
Anne take it from one burned badly by NOT doing a credit check...yikes!!
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#120104 - 09/25/07 10:41 PM Re: Age Limits
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
I have a question. One of my friends is dating this guy who is a few years younger than her. They've only gone out together a few times but the other night it seems he came to her home to her delight. She had everything nice including a movie to watch. He came to her house around 10pm and wanted to go to a bar. While at the bar the guy who had been so attentive and hugging her and kissing her said. I want to choke you. Just like that. She thought it was a weird joke. They got back to her house and he proceeded to strangle her, to hit her in the face but not hard, he threw her on the bed and yanked her up by her hair and when she got away and went to the bathroom, he came in and peed on her.
What the heck kind of guy is that anyway? I did some research for her and couldn't find much about violence while having sex but I think some people are actually turned on by slapping, hair pulling, shoving, biting, and in this instance nearly killed her by asphixiation. She said she almost lost consciousness.

The really weird part of it is that he came and laid his head on her lap and hugged her and kissed her as he was leaving and says to her, "that was wonderful." I'll call you. The next day he called her just to chat.

I told her she should have called the police and reported him and gotten a restraining order against him. What a loser freak!
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#120105 - 09/25/07 11:04 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Oops. The question is, "where can I find information about this strange behavior?" The guy seems to genuinely like her and is very attracted to her.
He's the kind of guy who loves children and pets and plants and helps his family members move and is always helping someone out. He is friendly and all that. So why would this person give my friend bruises and make her cry?
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#120106 - 09/26/07 01:49 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
chatty lady Offline
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Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Everything you described Newleaf are things done in public, with people watching. He is apparently a sneak hiding his bad bahavior behind closed doors. I would drop his a// and now!!!
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#120107 - 09/26/07 02:10 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: chatty lady]
NewLeaf Offline
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Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
But, Chatty, WHAT type of behavior is this from a scientific standpoint? What would create such a person? What life situation or circumstances would predispose someone like that to be into whatever it is he's into?
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#120108 - 09/26/07 05:50 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
It's not worth analyzing the creep, NewLeaf. That guy is dangerous and wierd for your friend.
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#120109 - 09/26/07 03:55 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
NewLeaf Offline
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Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Orchid, I'm sure you're right, but don't you ever wonder what makes people tick? I have an insatiable curiosity about the mind and motives and feelings of others. Have any of you heard about the guy who is sueing his doctor because after his heart transplant with an artificial heart, he can't feel love? Says he can't feel love, can't give or receive love and his daughter and grandchildren and wife are missing out?
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#120110 - 09/26/07 03:59 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Did she call the police. I can't believe she sat down with him in her home after he did that. And then he acted lovey dovey. So after he did all of this, she didn't put him out and call the police? Sorry, but that's crazy. I don't get it. Am I missing something?
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#120111 - 09/26/07 04:17 PM Re: Age Limits
NewLeaf Offline
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Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
She told me this happened after they came back to her home after leaving the club. I think she was terrified and shocked. She also has a son who wasn't home at the time, but she was afraid to call the police for fear DCF would step in as they always do....
We've talked a lot about issues surrounding single parents and the answers sometimes seem so simple, "Just call the police." "Just get a restraining order" "Just go get help" "Just don't date people like that" but as we all know, life isn't that simple. She smokes pot recreationally and she was afraid the police would find out and the guy stopped his behaviour and ate and then was tired and "sweet". Whatever...
I just want to know WHY would someone be that way? I've posed that question to some of my younger hip friends who are street smart and they said "sex is violence" according to Freud. That sex and violence have the same intensity of feeling and sometimes people get the two things mixed up or are turned on by the rush of violence...I don't know but its too weird for me.
She's a nice person and my closest friend. I hate to see anyone hurt her. She doesn't deserve that.
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#120112 - 09/26/07 05:09 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
Edelweiss Offline
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Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
What I think is really weird is that your friend brought this sicko home with her AFTER he said he wants to strangle her. No normal guy would ever say something like that. For heaven's sakes....he warned her!

Egads...reading this perverse junk makes me value my hubby more. Too many perverts are running loose out there...yuck. And I for one think it is bad taste that you even posted this in all details.

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#120114 - 09/26/07 10:11 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Really, Anne, I didn't know that about Freud? Hannelore, I'm sorry if I offended you, but you know, that's reality. There are sicko's out there who think they are perfectly normal. Golden showers have been practiced by the homosexual community for decades.
You know there is a perverse side of life. Its sad, but true. Can't stick your head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist because it does. Forewarned is forearmed.
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#120115 - 09/27/07 12:02 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
Slapping, spanking, flogging, "golden showers," and the like are all forms of sadism. It's estimated that about 10% of the population has some sadistic/masochistic tendencies -- both homosexual and heterosexual. The S/M community, however, has some definite rules, the primary ones being safe, sane and consensual. What this man exhibited was none of those.

There are "wannabe" sadists, or dominants as they can be called, who have no idea what they are doing. They are dangerous because they can cause severe emotional and physical harm.

This woman should walk in the other direction. Quickly. Reporting him to the police would also be a consideration, particularly if he persists.

I forget who said it, but I don't get either that she invited him back!
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#120116 - 09/27/07 04:22 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Casey]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Thank you, Casey, for the information. I've continued to research this kind of behaviour and it does seem to be beyond the consensual bondage or S/M community.
My husband who passed away was into bondage. That was one thing he didn't tell me before we were married. I never understood why a man who was held in such high regard in the community, who was a gentle, giant of a man with almost feminine sweetness and kindness could want to be tied up, gagged and other such things...He claimed it was because he lost his father when he was only 10 and had to take on the responsibility of the rest of the family, was ultra responsible and bondage took him out of the role of being in charge.
But, still, my question to anyone who knows is "What would make a person be into or have an interest in sadism? I still don't understand. My friend is trying to stay away from him, but she still cares for him..Casey, I'll tell her what you said about the amateurs.
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#120117 - 09/27/07 05:12 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Edelweiss]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Newleaf, ever heard the old saying:

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT???

The guys a creep, who cares why! She needs to lose him and fast.


Edited by chatty lady (09/27/07 05:14 PM)

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#120119 - 09/27/07 08:10 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
People interested in S/M just are. It's part of what makes them tick. It's a continuum. Just like there are more people interested in sex than others, or sex with lots of people or whatever. And there are people who have no interest whatsoever in having any type of sexual relationship. It's not bad (as long as it's safe, sane and consensual) or good. It just is.

I suspect that unless you have sadistic or masochistic tendencies, it would be very difficult to try to wrap your head around any way that it would make sense to you.
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#120120 - 09/27/07 10:02 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Casey]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
What I would like to know is if this man told her I WANT TO CHOKE YOU, why did she invite him back to her house? You say she's "trying" to stay away from him? TRYING? This man abused her and she's trying?

NL, are you writing a book? Doing a thesis study? You ask why someone would do this, yet you say Golden showers have been practiced by the homosexual community for decades.. Sounds like you've already done your research, but you need more input for whatever you're writing.

Either that, or if this "friend" is real, she needs professional help. Maybe you can help her obtain this?

If someone HITS you, you don't "try" to stop seeing them. This tells me she has no regard for herself or her child

...otherwise, this pervert would not be in her life. If she allows it to continue, who's next? Her child?

I'm curious though. All of your conversations here revolve around sex or men. I'm not saying this is good or bad, its just an observation from reading back over all of your old post.

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#120121 - 09/28/07 07:51 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: jawjaw]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
NL, why are you even posting a question like this here in a Boomer forum? Maybe you should search sadistic and masochistic forums to find your answer.

As for sticking my head in sand,…I rather do that then sticking it in smut.

I agree with JJ. You seem to be fixated on sex and write as if you were the only one who really enjoys it; categorizing others as lazy chocolate eaters who watch TV every night.

I’ve learned that those that toot their own horns constantly are the ones trying to fill a gap.

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#120122 - 09/28/07 03:53 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Edelweiss]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Whatever, Hannelore. I'm bored with many things and I have an insatiable curiosity for life. Thank you, Casey. You answered my question and now I feel satisfied that at least there is no way to actually rationalize or understand.
You know, ladies, everyone's life isn't all peaches and cream. There are some people who are no worse than you, just normal, everyday people who work, enjoy their families, play with their dog or cat and fish, hunt and play golf who are dealing with bizarre situations whether they wandered into them themselves or the situation was dropped in their lap.
If you don't like it when questions are asked and answers are needed then maybe you should go join a website like Daisy picking or Martha Stewart.....(opps, I forgot, Martha just got out of prison....)
Well, anyway, in my opinion, its not up to you to judge my interests or lack of, or my judgement. This is a FORUM for people who have questions and opinions. If someone has an interest or opinion other than the one you have and you want them to take it elsewhere, it is no longer a FORUM but is a CLUB for people of like mind.
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#120123 - 09/28/07 07:53 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
NewLeaf, this forum has many other interesting topics to participate in.

No doubt you are not single-faceted person, but it is interesting that on the boomer forum, you respond and tend to make the effort to write primarily on men and sex.

You do describe men in a sensual way often or relate to them in a sexual way or most platonically, prefer to align with men vs. any woman, no matter how benignly friendly another woman may be.

No question some of us have not lived lives of Martha Stewart nor can even do that type of lifestyle beyond a few hrs. which reminds I better clean up our home..or my dear neat freak man in my life, will be abit disgusted after he returns from his long solo bike trip of several wks. (Not all men are thinking about sex nor want it with someone else when they are alone on the road. )

Have you read some of our backgrounds, NewLeaf in the other topics? There are some incredible people to learn from here, NewLeaf.
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#120124 - 09/29/07 04:25 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: orchid]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Orcid, no doubt there are many other topics to discus and read and learn from those whose lives are on different paths. Mine however, the past few days has been that of trying to help one of my best friends who has been hurt. The things Casey shared I've used to help her in spite of the criticism and barbs I've gotten from others here.
I choose to overlook most of the time, but when you work 4 10 hr. days to come home, clean house, do laundry and care for small children then go to your second job on your 3 days off, it doesn't leave a whole lot of time for peddling round the US or piddling in a library reading yet another book written by yet another retiree.
Geeze, the secretary at my grandson's school was touting her second novel...I'm beginning to think that's all older women do when they retire.
Anyway, thanks for your interest in my life. I just wish it were truly sincere and caring.
_________________________
Aarikja Ann

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#120125 - 09/29/07 11:07 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
When you first began posting the sexual dribble way back when, we all tried to be helpful and were caring and we supported you against your husbands abuse 100%, but you keep coming back with the same crap over and over again, and more than once it sounded to me like it was a made up fantasy you were touting. I'm not as kind as some of the other women here and its about time someone called you out. We are caring women, but we are not stupid women, and some of us remember what was posted by whom, and when. I am retired and still work very hard. I don't intend to waste my senior years obsessing about imaginary or otherwise sexual confrontations. You've pulled this once to many times. I suggest you find a new hobby, one you understand...If there really is a friend in all this, then she is an idiot...


Edited by chatty lady (09/29/07 11:11 AM)
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#120126 - 09/29/07 09:34 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: chatty lady]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
You can climb back down off your soapbox now Chatty. Have someone spot you while you get down..Its been my experience of you that you can be a bully. You consider yourself the voice of sage wisdom gleaned from years of being the bad chick...well, I do find your rantings amusing and entertaining.
However, I have to tell you that each and every post I've submitted has been 100% true and without one drop of imagination.
Sooo, I guess I live a very exciting life. I like it that way for the most part. There are the down times, but all in all I wouldn't trade it for one dull and sugar saturated moment in time with anyone else.
Sometimes I'd give someone a dollar for a day of boredom, but just one day.'
While I do have a vivid imagination, I don't need to make things up to entertain myself or anyone else for that matter.
What I looked for in this forum was the understanding which some of the members here have freely given.
That's all.
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Aarikja Ann

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#120127 - 09/29/07 11:33 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Okay now we have both said our piece and cleared the air. Bully? Maybe, but I'm honestly saying what others are thinking as well, but are too polite (or afraid) to express... I hope you find whatever you think you're looking for...
Just be real! I am...
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#120128 - 10/01/07 04:17 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: chatty lady]
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
I thought about this latest interchange all weekend. I have to admit, I was very disturbed by it. I have to admit, I'm not crazy about angry confrontation, so that's part of it.

Yet it seemed like a lot of hurtful things were said that probably didn't need saying -- especially in a public forum. And a lot of intolerance for who other people are.

One of the things that boomer women can do is create more wisdom in the world. We can do that by being true to ourselves, yes, and rejoicing in that. At the same time we can deepen our knowledge of ourselves so it becomes no longer necessary to lash out at others. And we can extend our compassion for ourselves to others. At the same time indicating boundaries when people cross them in a polite, but firm way.

I do want to apologize for answering NL's questions publicly. Due to the nature of this forum, it was probably something best answered with a PM.

I'm not saying this well, but I was really disturbed by the interchange and am not expressing this as well as I can.

Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Wise Woman Shining
Supporting women business owners to step into their power as business leaders.

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#120129 - 10/01/07 05:41 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Casey]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Somehow I missed many of these posts.

Casey, I see nothing wrong with your responses. They are educational.

As far as the angry confrontations are concerned - if we gals have nothing nice to say to one another, then we shouldn't respond to one another's posts.

I think that's fair.
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#120130 - 10/01/07 06:12 PM Re: Age Limits
mrs_madness Offline
Member

Registered: 09/29/05
Posts: 217
Loc: Moscow
I don't see it as angry. I see it as give a little, get a little.

Supportive doesn't necessarily mean telling people what they want to hear or being a wuss. Nothing wrong with ladies speaking their minds, whatever that leads to. Let them say what they want. They're all big enough girls to deal with replies from strangers on the internet with a grain of salt. They will still all go on with their lives just exactly as they please.

I think you do not need to be a referee.

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#120131 - 10/01/07 08:53 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: mrs_madness]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
I think I resemble the retired woman who wrote a book!
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#120132 - 10/01/07 11:18 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Dianne]
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
I think that I am really asking for a more than "give a little, get a little." Yes, things can go on the way they are, which is why I hesitated to post my feelings. But they are my feelings and my reaction to what was going on -- not trying to be a referree -- but saying, "I object."

I don't object to people disagreeing -- that's healthy. I do object and don't see the necessity of doing it in a mean way. One of the reasons that our political system is so horrendous at the moment is that all of a sudden its o.k. to be nasty and look for the jugular rather than debate the issues. People can have real emotions and say real things without seeing who can strike the lowest blow.

Because it doesn't just affect the people involved. It affects those of us who were reading a post and becoming involved in a discussion that went south. And I believe it's time for those of us who object to the behavior to say so.

So I did.
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Wise Woman Shining
Supporting women business owners to step into their power as business leaders.

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#120133 - 10/02/07 08:01 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Casey]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
What some might imagine is anger, is likely not. Emotional possibly, over excited more than likely, but not anger. Personally, I wouldn't want to belong or contribute to any forum where an exchange of ideas, even if a bit excited, would not be allowed.

To get back on track with Whirlwinds original posting. I married my highschool sweet heart. He was three years older than me. My second husband was 20 years my senior. Both my two husbands died. I married a man who I was 8 years older than, it was a flop, not because of age but because he was dishonest from day one. I don't believe age means a hill of beans, if someone makes you happy no matter their age, go for it. We humans put too many restrictions on ourselves as it is, why look for even more? Happy is, as happy does.


Edited by chatty lady (10/02/07 08:07 AM)
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#120134 - 10/03/07 01:35 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Casey]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Well, I apologize for lashing out. Ladies and I DO mean ladies, all of you. I've felt like a cornered animal for such a long time. So many things have come at me so fast and I've either had to duck and cover my face and head or try hard to dodge them or in this instance fight back.
I'm basically a lover and not a fighter but sometimes you have just frickin had enough and that's when you should just go off somewhere and breathe or count to 10 or something.
Everyday of my life is a challenge. I need friends and people who love me yet I want so desperately to be understood and accepted for who I am that most of the time I just insult people lash out at them and shove them away because I feel that once they truly get to know me, they won't like me anyway....AND I get tired of feeling I have to defend myself to people who really have NO frickin idea what life is really all about for some of us. Its OK that's the path you have and this is the path I have. I'll try harder to empathize with you, but don't even try to judge me or put me into a pidgeonhole that makes you feel more comfortable about who you are.
Just yesterday my daughter (the mother of the two who live with me) found out she has cancer and while she was leaving the doctor's office someone rear ended her and totalled her car. That same day I had to pay her cable bill so was unable to pay mine, while on the same day checking to see if DCF had approved us for an EBT card. I just accepted a new job yesterday which means I'll have to go through orientation and training all over again and the guy I foolishly let myself care for, dumped me because we were in his words, "incompatible". (and we were) but it still hurts and I still cry when I allow myself to and that isn't often.
That's just a typical day for me regardless that some seem to think I'm making it all up. I live in a frickin nightmare on Elm st and there are bright spots and wonders and awesome breaks, but most of the time I'm that frightened, angry trapped animal being bombarded and threatened by a pitbull frothing at the mouth ready to devour me and mine.
So, take it for whatever you will. That's my life and God knows I'm doing the very best I can and I was just thanking him today for my health so I CAN go out there and meet my obligations and for the ability to do it. I appreciate my sexuality....shoot its one of the free pleasures I have in my life and you want to take that away from me too! I'm careful and NOT promiscuous. One thing I am is open and honest and what you see is what you get whether you like it or not. It's me.
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#120135 - 10/03/07 05:30 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
You know New Leaf, this isn’t the first time that I thought you express yourself very well and that you’re quite an intelligent lady with a lot of spunk.

You’re right, I can only imagine how hard life must be for you. It’s certainly giving you more then your share of hurdles. But your posts also convey a strong person; a fighter who lands on her feet.

Sometimes it takes a new out-look on life; sometimes it helps to be influenced by the right people, … whatever,…It is never too late to make a new beginning. Congratulations on your new job! What a way to start, and I hope you meet new fascinating people that will show you another kind of life. Give them a chance. They aren’t as boring as you think.

And as for your daughter’s illness, you have my deepest sympathies, and well wishes that she, as so many others, will recover completely.

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#120136 - 10/03/07 07:33 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Edelweiss]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I believe that we women are forced so often to carry what feels like the weight of the world on our shoulders. Sometimes its not the person or situation that angers us, its the other hundred bad things that we have endured during the week and this one thing becomes the straw that breaks the camels back. I am no one to judge anyone. I don't exactly live the Mary Poppins lifestyle myself. I get really bummed out hearing some of what is said here but thats my problem and I need to just keep it to myself. I can see where some might think me a bully because I say whats on my mind as I see it. Bluntness upsets some people. I should know that by now and just shut the he// up...

Like my mother says about bad things happening, "When It Rain It Pours!"

Newleaf, I am sorry about your daughter, from what you've said of her in the past, I fear this will become 'your' problem as well. I will keep you and yours in my prayers.


Edited by chatty lady (10/03/07 07:35 PM)
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#120137 - 10/03/07 10:33 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: chatty lady]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
Thanks. She has to go for a biopsy next week and they'll decide what to do from there. She's only 24! Sometimes I feel like the guy holding his finger in the dike and the flood waters are rising.
I drink too much and can't afford my medication to make it all seem better...lol
Anyway, I also realize I'm getting older and that's a bitter pill to swallow for someone who used to be a beauty queen. Sometimes you just have to take it one minute at a time instead of one day at a time.
I hope my new job will be an open door a good opportunity for all of us.
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Aarikja Ann

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#120138 - 10/04/07 07:50 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Forced into aging.

My Mom is terribly hard of hearing, so when I converse with her I got to strain my vocal chords. Hubby doesn’t hear or doesn’t want to. It’s seldom that I don’t have to repeat what I say at least 2 to 4 times. My brother was here, and is beginning to lose his hearing…He also has the typical male sickness;…hears only when he wants to. Everyone around me is forgetting things, losing items, talking about getting old and dying.

Yikes! I’m not ready for this. I still want to party! When I’m with people who still think young and are young it’s like a breeze of fresh air. We visited the October fest, and sat at a table with a group of young men in there twenties. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. Of course the beer helped us get silly and forget our age differences. At the same table, my brother and hubby sat silently, not getting the gist of what was going on because it was so loud in the tent, and it was too much of a strain on them. We drove home in a silent car…everyone else beat…but I was still in the partying mood.
What a damper.

So that’s why I believe big age differences are fine when you are both young, but later in life, the younger one suffers, and the older one feels guilty about it. Not good.

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#120139 - 10/04/07 10:00 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Edelweiss]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
My stbex, seems to want to get old. He wanted me to sit on the couch and watch mind candy on TV, or worse football, game after game, and take two naps a day and play bingo on Tues. nites and go to the same bar every other night, and hang out at the Elk's Lodge and go to visit "older" friends...etc.
He aged me 10 years at least!! Now, by the grace of God, I've assessed the damage and am now in the reclaimation mode. I've stopped drinking, am eating right, am drinking lots of water to rehydrate my skin, am taking e,b12, c and zinc, breathing, getting plenty of aerobics and stretches and muscle building, I've gone for an eval on my smile and its going to cost boocoo bucks.
But, its time to start thinking about myself for a change. Its way past time. And if there ever is someone else out there, someone unique to me..then at least I won't have to hide under layers of clothing and pounds of makeup.
I get what Hannelore is saying, I hope at least I'm getting it right...Older thinking people can drag you down, discourage you from being all you can be or were meant to be. Many times they don't mean to. They don't have a master plan to bring you down, it just happens.
You can make a decision to stay in that situation with them and let them rain on your parade and criticize you for not acting your age, or silently relay that message OR just live and enjoy what time you may have on this earth. Laugh often and much with those who are laughing and let those who choose to B & M (b*&^% & M*%$) continue to do so until their dying day.
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#120140 - 10/04/07 03:35 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: NewLeaf]
Casey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 789
Loc: Aptos, California
The air must be different here. Older people I know are dynamic, intelligent, out there doing things, athletic. Even when their minds are obviously elsewhere, they are doing things to make the world a better place -- at least from their point of view. (The lady down the street is constantly rearranging the dirt in her yard to make it more beautiful.)

My neighbor next door is in his 70s and on the go all the time. Even, my 90-year-old writing friend, who is confined to a wheelchair, is a dynamite thinker and reader. These are my role models! With all this spunk around me, aging doesn't fear me. I might have to make some adjustments, but I'm working out and losing weight and feeling mentally better than I have my entire life. It's a great thing!

Life is interesting. It's all in your attitude, I've come to believe.
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Wise Woman Shining
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#120142 - 10/04/07 08:48 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
hotflashgal Offline


Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 191
Loc: New Jersey
I couldn't resist chiming in.....some of you know that my husband is 70 years young. I just gave him a surprise birthday party last weekend. He still works full time as an attorney and is full of energy and life. I think working is what keeps him sharp, plus having me around keeps him on his toes! LOL We are getting ready to take a trip to Sedona next month to visit some of the energy vortexes and take in the beauty of the west. He has no idea what energy vortexes are, but he knows I'm interested so he is game. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks!
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#120143 - 10/04/07 10:20 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: hotflashgal]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
How exciting for you! You must go to Prescott after Sedona. Sedona is absolutely beautiful but I found it kind of boring. Not much to do except hike and look for you vibrational hum...LOL! Have a wonderful trip!
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#120144 - 10/05/07 12:19 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Dianne]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Good for you hotflashgirl. Enjoy the trip. And I agree - working keeps the mind going and the spirits up. I know some people who definitely retired too young and it's a shame to see how little they have to offer now.

Another couple and Ross and I went to an Oriole game several weeks ago. In front of us sat about eight 20-something guys who were drinking like fish, having the time of their lives (well, probably not), and entertaining our whole section with all their comments. We were sitting directly behind the opponents dugout. They were hysterical. WE ended up cahtting it up with them before the night was over. They truly added to our ballpark experience. They left a little before us and it felt like the whole section was let down. The game was rather boring. Anyway, fun peple are electric and I love being around them whether I know them or not.
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#120145 - 10/05/07 03:12 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: hotflashgal]
NewLeaf Offline
Member

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
hotflashgal, I applaud you. You fell in love with a guy many years your senior. I fell in love with a guy many years younger then me. I still feel for him and think of him a lot. What a strange world we live in. Truly age doesn't matter unless we have an issue with it.
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#120146 - 10/23/07 07:17 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: Dianne]
luvneverends Offline


Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 17
When I was around 20 years old, I hoped to marry an older guy with mature thoughts. Now, I would like to date a younger man with younger body. haha
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#120147 - 10/23/07 07:19 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: luvneverends]
luvneverends Offline


Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 17
It is really an interesting question. Saw it many times. Gals, keep on posting your ideas.
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#120148 - 10/25/07 02:21 AM Re: Age Limits [Re: luvneverends]
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
This has been interesting. I'm sure those of you who are married do not envy those of us who are not. It's a strange, strange world out there these days. And yet, I am happy the majority of the time and would not go back to my previous marriage.

I still fantasize about the perfect guy. I well know he doesn't exist, except in my mind. But I do enjoy thinking about him from time to time.

The younger man in my earlier post turned out to have alot of problems. At times it has bordered on something scary, but has evened out lately (please keep your fingers crossed that things continue to improve). The older man from work and I have realized that we aren't "dating material," but "good friend material" instead. Why is it, if I'm honest with myself, that's what I'd really rather have these days anyway?

Newleaf, you and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted on how she is doing.

And I love the most recent comments about aging gracefully and staying alive and full of life. Maybe that's what we need to talk about now, how to keep the excitement for life alive. I for one, want to be one of those 90 year old women who is the life of the party and still ready for adventure. I do think Casey was right when she said it's all in your attitude (physical problems excluded). Some people just have "old attitudes" (like most of my family), and others stay young no matter what.

My grandmother was one of the most "young at heart" people I've ever known. What I wouldn't give to talk to her just one more time! Since that isn't possible, I'll just try to be as much like her as I can, and get as much life as possible out of every single day I'm on this earth.

You gals are the best!

Whirlwind

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#120149 - 10/25/07 12:29 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
whirlwind, let your grandmother be our example. You might want to stop by the book club thread. We are talking about who we would love to have just one more day with.

Also, I'm confused - you have gone from scary to wanting it to continue to improve. Just looking out for you, but should you revisit the part that was scary for your own safety?
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#120150 - 10/25/07 02:57 PM Re: Age Limits
Whirlwind Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 261
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Dotsie, I’ll check out the book thread, thanks for recommending that.

And my comment about “scary” had nothing to do with fear for my own personal safety. He “has” talked about hurting himself (and I found out that has been going on for years, he has been battling depression for a LONG time). He has recently sought professional help and is taking medication now (which seems to be working). That is what I was referring to when I said I wanted things to continue to improve, so that he can lead a happy, healthy life. He's a nice guy, he deserves that.

Whirlwind

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#120151 - 10/26/07 02:47 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Whirlwind]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Gotcha. I wasn't sure what you meant by that. Perhaps you've boosted his mood!
_________________________
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www.nabbw.com
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#120152 - 11/16/07 02:38 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Dianne]
Upbeat Offline


Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 1
The problem is that so many 50+ men look for a partner who will be their "mommy" side kick (with whom they can have sex).

Men 50 and younger seem to have a more modern attitude (of course I know that there are exceptions to these) of treating women as real partners.

I think once a woman goes through menopause and has that major reorganization of her brain (I went through this) - you are not satisfied to be treated the "traditional" way anymore. Of course, I speak from my own experience - but not exclusively, as I have known many women who have felt the same way.

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#120153 - 11/17/07 02:58 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: Upbeat]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
upbeat, welcome. I love your screen name. How did you find us?

I agree with your comment, however, my brain is still being reorganized. We're tired of being the care-takers, organizers, domestic divas, etc. and want what men have been getting from us all these years.
_________________________
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www.nabbw.com
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#120155 - 11/17/07 09:58 PM Re: Age Limits [Re: ]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
If you really are going to move Anne, you might concentrate on a place where retirere's, and widowers gather and retire. Like Florida or yes, here in Vegas. I live in a Resort Park filled with people 55 and older, There are several dozen men without women, own a nice home, drive nice cars, even own motorhomes they travel around in.
I meet them at the pool or on the putting range, out bike riding. They are everywhere in this town.

Vegas, outside the Casinos on the strip is a retirement mecca.

If I wanted fish, I'd go to the fish market, steak, the butcher shop, candy a candy store, flowers, a florist, a retired gentleman, a retirement town...

Not earth shattering advice but good advice none the less.

Maybe hop on one of the chatrooms for men 50 and over. Hey what the hell?? And some are in surprising good shape, great dressers and nice looking.


Edited by chatty lady (11/17/07 10:13 PM)
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#120157 - 11/18/07 11:59 PM Anne: Many men in 1 place: good & bad [Re: ]
orchid Offline


Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
I personally knew 3 employees who are/were residents in Alaska for several decades and were associated with a branch office in Anchorage for a large international engineering firm. Actually the woman and her hubby have sold their home and are now living in SEattle. Another couple have also sold their home in Alaska after being there for over 30 yeears(they had problems selling their lovely home up there) and bought a home in a suburb outside of Vancouver, not far from the U.S.-Canada border. They will retire soon there. Their children are grown up.

The woman told me that many young people want to LEAVE Alaska since they do consider job opportunities elsewhere, plus other things that cities south offer.

If you are interested in working in the trades, engineering, such skills are desired in certain parts of U.S. right now. Ever though of AUTOCAD engineering design with software?

soome of the boom towns where there is bigtime mining, oil and energy related industries goin' on, do have a high proportion of men. But there's also alot of drinkin' going on in those towns. Fort McMurray in northern Alberta is experiencing serious growth problems since it's flooded with tar sands workers up there. Many men and yes, stories of women propositioned. However there are also men who are MARRIED and away from their families and girlfriends living in other parts of Canada. So go figure, how to deal with a pile of horny men, who just want a roll in the hay...

I'm sorry to be so raw here, but I've worked in several organizations dominated by men, where women form 20% of the workforce and less than 10% of those women are in professional positions/well-educated. A workplace is an ideal (perhaps safer) place to meet guys, but having lots of guys around doesn't increase chances of romance. It didn't for me, despite the fact there were several decent men around my age. The click just didn't occur.

I met my partner at an evening computer course.

It's great that you are thinking of possibly a different part of the U.S. Cost of living is a serious consideration.

And think of the sorts of activities/passions you love to do/try when living in an area. From that, if guys also engage in the same happy activities, perhaps you will meet one.

Do you jog? Consider joining a regularily running co-ed group or a reasonable fitness centre. That's how 2 of my sisters met their now hubbies. Even if you don't meet any love of your life, you will still be pursuing your passion/hobbies.

In the end, you must love the place where you relocate to. This must be priority over potential men, etc. ...to make this major life decision happy and worthwhile for you...because it maybe a place where you may live for many years.
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#120158 - 11/19/07 07:09 AM Re: Anne: Many men in 1 place: good & bad [Re: orchid]
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
I see articles in the newspaper from time to time about the whole nine yards of demographics, so that information is accessable. Housing prices are public record and available by looking at real estate listings for an area, which are also online.

Having lived in SoCali since 1980, I'll just throw out a few general stats:
Real Estate in Orange or LA County is still high. The largest concentration of retirees is in planned senior communities such as the several Leisure World locales. Plus a whole slew of "55 & Better" housing complexes just about everywhere. If you go inland past Riverside and towards the desert, senior communities proliferate. Some of the newer ones are not as pricey BUT -- you think Alaska is too cold? -- well, the desert is pretty bleeping hot.

Wherever you might be considering moving, a week's vacation is a good investment. Alaska mid-winter or SoCali in August will tell you if you can stand the worst of the climate. Plus hotel rates are relatively cheap then.

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#120160 - 11/20/07 11:38 PM Re: Anne: Many men in 1 place: good & bad [Re: ]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I have a minister friend up near Anchorage. He has a church gig there. Him, his wife and their 11 children. They moved there from way up in Minnesota, so were use to the cold anyway, and say they love it and would never move back.

Contact the Chamber of Commerce of any city and they are usually thrilled to send all kinds of info. Did that before I moved here to Vegas. Follow the migrating seniors, warm weather and financial independence is a plus with them. Most are really mellow too. Just wanting someone to have fun and enjoy their retirement with. Find one of the singles sites, then the city, then single males over 50. Their names and pictures pop up...its up to you after that.


Edited by chatty lady (11/20/07 11:40 PM)
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#120161 - 11/21/07 05:56 PM Re: Anne: Many men in 1 place: good & bad [Re: chatty lady]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
chatty, great advice.
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#120162 - 11/21/07 08:56 PM Re: Anne: Many men in 1 place: good & bad
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Thank you ma'am! Coming from you that's a real compliment...
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#120163 - 11/21/07 09:00 PM Re: Anne: Many men in 1 place: good & bad [Re: chatty lady]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Chatty, I think I know where to move to when the time comes......move over.

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#120164 - 11/21/07 09:02 PM Re: Anne: Many men in 1 place: good & bad [Re: chatty lady]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
It was very good advice. I have a friend who lives on one of the northernest points in Alaska. She is a school teacher and has been there going on 7 years. She absolutely loves it. She is in a remote village that you can only fly in or out of, and she has to order her food supply over the Internet and have it "dropped" literally. She has one more year to retirement.

She wandered over to a government radar site one day and met a man who has never been married and they hit it off immediately. Same age, and they travel together in the off seasons, visit each other village-to-village while they are in Alaska, but give each other space when needed.

I've met him and just adore him. Who would have ever thought she would go that far north out in the middle of nowhere and find a man. A good man. Go figure...

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