This week, two more young people lost their lives and two more small children are without parents because of a senseless act of domestic violence. One block away from the bank where my husband worked until his recent retirement and only a few blocks from where we live, a man pulled up in front of a 3-story office building, went in, pulled his 21- year old ex-girlfriend out from behind the reception desk she shared with another girl and dragged her into an elevator. The girl happened to have their 5 year old son with her that day at work. She pushed him aside. The child stood there hearing his mother's screams. Her ex ignited a can of gasoline and blew up the elevator, killing both of them.

This woman had recently been kidnapped by the guy at knifepoint and threatened. He was charged with kidnapping and whatever, but was not put away. She had a restraining order out on him but recently stopped it "for the sake of their children."

Red flags were hitting the judge over the head on this one and because the man had no previous record, he let him go. He showed suicidal tendencies and still, they did nothing. When are they going to stop these maniacs? The girl had been mixed up with him since she was 16.

Another woman in the building was seriously injured and hospitalized from the explosion. The building housed dentists and lawyers, etc. My insurance agent was in the adjoining building. Restraining orders are worthless.

restraning orders don't work too efficently heer either....
maybee the order first then, something a bit more or something thats taken more seriouslie......but what?

anyway thats stories just wild....do you know how the child that saw heard all this going on is?

I heard this on the news. Restraining orders seem to make some men go wild. I had one out on my X husband and it didn't stop him...and neither did anyone else. That was a long time ago. Nothings changed much in 30 years. So sad the child had to be there.

chick

This article was just in my local paper today. The complete link is below, but here are a couple of interesting high lites:


The national figures show that nonfatal attacks against intimate partners fell by about 65 percent from 1993 to 2005. Homicides among intimate partners dropped by roughly a third.

The figures are based on the annual National Crime Victimization Survey, which counts criminal abuse against spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends and former spouses, whether it's been reported to police or not. The information, collected in thousands of confidential interviews, is the most widely used instrument for charting U.S. crime trends. The latest numbers reflect the lowest abuse rate since the crime survey began in 1973. They differ from tallies of what is considered domestic violence because that typically includes violence against children.

Nationally, the effectiveness of legislative efforts shows most clearly, analysts said, in a seemingly perverse trend: a sharp drop in the number and proportion of men killed by female partners. Thirty years ago, women and men were killed by intimates in nearly equal numbers. By 2004, however, 1,159 women were killed by intimates but only 385 men were.

The disproportion in fatalities, while seemingly adverse to women, reflects a major gain, said Richard Gelles, the dean of the University of Pennsylvania's School of Social Policy and Practice: Abusive men are killed less often now because women can get free of them more easily.

http://www.startribune.com/484/story/1061143.html

What are your thoughts?

I don't know, Anno. It's hard to believe the numbers have gone down. Seems more like they have escalated.

Chick,
She had stopped the restraining order before this. I think it does make matters worse with some guys, but for the most part, I think it's no more than a piece of paper. Honestly, if a person is capable of killing someone, of stalking them, of crimes of such violent nature, ain't no piece of paper gonna stop 'em. This guy was bananas long before the restraining order anyway. He had a violent history, but that didn't prompt a judge to do more than let him out on bail?

I don't know how the child is doing, Celtic. But, she had a 1 year old at home as well. I'm not sure if he was the father of both or not. I think he was.

I live in a suburb of Baltimore. Our nightly news is scattered with these miserably sad stories. I seems like it's getting worse to me too.

Same here, I listen to our nightly news and it seems to be getting worse. Maybe it is being televised more. Years ago, what happened in a home was only known by neighbors when the police were called.

chick

I agree with Anno. There is hope!

Today, on our front newspaper page a huge black heading stated that the crime rate has dropped 50% in Bavaria, Germany within the last three years! They assume it's because the police catch about 90% of the criminals! Wow, I never knew they were so successful in catching the culprits. (rapists, breaking and entering, murderers….the whole gambit)

Of course, you can't prevent crime done by mental cases...but obviously a criminal does think twice about committing a criminal act, if he knows he will probably get caught.

can someone double cheek those figures, thats unbeliveable when you put them side by side...

the amount of women killing has decressed by such a large drop and still theirs STILL 90% of women in prison due to self-defences murders...Whats the pecentage of men in prison due to self-defence by or from partner or otherwise...anyone know...

I do agree that the abilitie to escape from an abosive partner decrisses the incidences of murder, as violence in the home esculates more often or not...so the male and female are both better off when the relashionship can be terminated. Can anything else be responcible or be a variable in theas figures being lower...

I believe in numbers. I also believe that numbers can defend any position you wish to hold. There is good news and bad news in all numbers.

Women are finding new ways to defend themselves, and yet the laws and powers are not protecting women. It still is a man's world.

yea numbers and out of contect quotes both have a danger....well when the powers that be won't protect unfortunitly the indivduel is left in the position of having to protect...I been their and its not somewere i willing to go again in a hurrie.....the whole thing just filled with worrie even if nuthing dose happen. Bet your socks that a lot of women are scared to death even if he leaves, an injunction happens ...and she never sees him again the worrie over something happening is bad enough

its not great in the uk and dosent sound to be that much better in the states....sad but females are 50% of the populasion at lest....One would hope laws would be developed that protect all the citizens of a countrie not just some of them..

Dearhearts,
I get sick to my stomach when I think of any kind of abuse.
I hate it! And what's with an overgrown police officer beating on a young lady? What garbage! People that abuse animals should be jailed for a long time! People that abuse children should get life in jail! Somehow, this abuse thing has got to be stopped!!!

Anno wrote: "Women are finding new ways to defend themselves, and yet the laws and powers are not protecting women. It still is a man's world." When I first read the first line, I thought, Why do women have to be in a position to defend themselves? Why can't men be in the position to be accountable, peaceful, and respectful? ***As a victim advocate, I saw many men young and old come into the agency for help. Sure, more women are victimized, and also it was about who had the perceived power, whether the male or female. One case was an 80 year old man who was seduced by a 40 year old woman. He came into the agency because she was emotionally, physically, and financially abusing him. The reason he married her? Simply because he was lonely. She locked him out of his own house. That man had guts to come to an agency primarily treating women.

Celtic, in response to your question, I'm sure you know that the most dangerous time for a woman is when she is leaving the abusive relationship. That is when the abusive man perceives he is losing power over her, and thus regains the power and control by being even more abusive. And, many women who manage to leave an abusive relationship (and this could apply to gay relationships as well) are pursued and stalked and sabatoged by the partner she just left. For example, a woman could be stalked and harassed at work to the point that she is fired or quits because she feels guilty and ashamed. Thus, she has to return to the abusive partner in order to gain financial equilibrium. What a vicious cycle. Been there, done that. I have not heard that "the amount of women killing has decreased." In fact, I've heard that violence has escalated in intensity and frequency and duration. What with rappers going on about "their bitches" and shows that continue to illustrate women as possessions, I've heard that there are fewer women able to defend themselves if need be. You see, a woman can get so depleted of self-worth that she does not even think she deserves to defend herself. In the US guns are so plentiful that gun related domestic violence is on the increase. Miss Diane, can you comment on this topic?

I don't understand this: "whether it's been reported to police or not. The information, collected in thousands of confidential interviews, is the most widely used instrument for charting U.S. crime trends." The quote if from Anno's quote. If the interviews are confidential, then how did the researchers get those numbers? For example in the agency where I volunteered, the interviews were completely confidential, and no information was going to go anywhere. Even in a case that went to criminal law, the intake information and interview could not be released from the agency because it was confidential. Something's screwy about this. How many women die due to DV and it is considered an accident? Restraining orders do nothing IMO. Never have, and don't now. If an abuser doesn't respect life, how is he/she expected to respect a piece of paper?

In a nut shell, Princess, THEIR NOT!!! An abuser respects nothing, especially themselves.