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#101913 - 01/09/07 12:56 AM Re: husband's become fathers [Re: Dianne]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I think I met my hubby when I was 13 or younger. He was a friend of my brother's and hung out at our house all the time. We began dating when I was a junior in high school. I took him to my junior and senior prom. He was older so I was dating a college boy. Woohoo! He came home on some weekends to keep the love alive. Rarely I would visit him for the day at college.

Why did I choose to marry him? He was a true gentleman and always has been. I loved that and still do. He has always been thoughtful and attentive. (He's right next to me now nursing me through this colinoscopy prep. We've had a few big laughs.) We were extremely compatible while dating for years so he finally popped the big question and I answered in a split second.
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#101914 - 01/09/07 07:38 AM Re: husband's become fathers
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
I was always independent and figured I'd provide for myself, so my main qualification for a man was that he'd worship the ground I walked on. I got that, but just didn't realize how bad some of the problems would be.
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#101915 - 01/09/07 10:45 AM Re: husband's become fathers [Re: meredithbead]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
i am just identifying with the ladies that married more than once and the priorities changing with the diffrering age. i think i have dun that or it's my life situasion changes so that direct's my priorities...hmmmmmm

I also dune something totally out of caricter and pretty awafull yep sad to say i grow up lol AND got realistick baaa haumbug no longer 16 and it show's on second thoughts I am pretty glade it shows i aint 16 (in my mind the rest a diffrent story, but who cares)

I don't know if i been married if i would of stayed with those long term relashionships. I had a lot of life changes and wonder if it be too much to ask those partners to grow with me and in the same direction or at lest so that we have some common ground.

I ponderring that if your married young (ishy) that one of the things that makes it succesfull in later life is that they grow along the same type of lines as life situasions and circumstances require, I don't know.....

what makes it succesfull over and above them being just great for you......

celtic_flame
oh we having internet problems at my house.
i am at po's but we not heer often and i only got half hour so typing like mad.

i miss you all
celtic_flame
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#101916 - 01/09/07 01:40 PM Re: husband's become fathers [Re: celtic_flame]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe

I noticed it was quieter around here. Celtic_Flame's computer is on vacation!
Glad you could steal away and use Po's.

I know for sure, if I had married any of my former boyfriends those marriages would have ended in divorce. I know that now, using my old wise head. Geez! I sound like some sort of bent over wizard with scraggly white hair. At the same time I realize that nothing is perfect. Although I think some ladies here have perfect marriages, I can't say that for myself. There have been those times where I wanted to be free, believe me. But whenever I stick out the hard times and things get better, then I'm glad "we" are still around. We have a pretty emotional marriage…maybe like those old Sophia Loren movies where plates fly and then they end up in bed…ha ha…that's us!

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#101917 - 01/09/07 04:37 PM Re: husband's become fathers [Re: Edelweiss]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I think waht makes it successful through the years is all the honest communication. In time, you truly know what your spouse appreciates and doesn't appreciate so you try to act accordingly while given the same respect in return.

Hannelore, I know a woman who talks about her stormy relationship and how much she loves the apologies. In their case, making up isn't hard to do.
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#101918 - 01/09/07 06:10 PM Re: husband's become fathers
Vicki M. Taylor Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/03
Posts: 2196
Loc: Tampa, FL
The man I married who became the father of my three children had a way about him that I thought made him a bit vulnerable. Something that was kind of endearing to a Marine. We lasted not quite 10 years, but we created three beautiful children.

The man I'm married to now, I met in my thirties. He was in his twenties. He was definitely different. Different than any man I ever dated. Very assured. Had a definite opinion. Wasn't afraid to speak up, for himself or for anyone else. He rode a sportsbike motorcycle. Even talked me into getting one of my own. He made me a better person. He drew me out and helped me get over a lot of my insecurities and self esteem issues. He has a very strong personality, but not over powering. He didn't crowd me. I fell in love with him before he fell in love with me, (I think) but when he did fall in love, I knew it. He totally committed to our relationship and to me. He's been through a lot with me. Several scary surgeries where cancer was a possibility. My ex husband. My kids. My health. Through it all, he's loved me and cared for me and been there for me. At the end of the month we'll have been married 9 years. I'm looking forward to the rest of my life with him.
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#101919 - 01/09/07 07:18 PM Re: husband's become fathers [Re: Vicki M. Taylor]
Lola Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
I chose my ex over the rest because he was an exemplary man. A good man. A very, very good man who was deeply spiritual. I knew from the onset that he would be a good father by the way he was with people. And, I was right to have thought that because his paternal instincts were second to none. He was a good husband and a good father and no doubt, would have continued to be so were it not for an alternative vocation which he has chosen to live the rest of his life. His bond with our children could be measured by the affection with which he is continually referred to and held in their hearts. Although initially, they could not understand choices and decisions which were made and excluded us, they do not begrudge nor reproach him for that. My ex was a hands-on father and was the balance to my strict parenting skills.

I don't think that I ever considered whether he would be a good provider. We were both working when we got married so it followed that responsibilities would be shared. We never squabbled over finances and respected each others efforts and contribution.

I dread to think what my married life or shared parenthood would have been if I had chosen another man. I have met the other beaus and their wives and I have always come away thinking that I was glad to have chosen the right man despite ending up a divorcee. And I can honestly say that despite the divorce, my married life was a happy and a good one.
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#101920 - 01/10/07 07:36 AM Re: husband's become fathers [Re: Lola]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
That's right Dotsie...making up is fun. And we love each other so that's all that counts.

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