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#10031 - 03/30/06 01:44 AM Re: Looking for some perspective, please!
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Do you have any idea how much time he's looking at? Also, how much does your children know about his arrest? This has to be so hard on all of you.

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#10032 - 03/30/06 03:50 AM Re: Looking for some perspective, please!
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Somehow I got the idea that he was not confined to jail. I guess he is in jail awaiting trial. Is that right?

I hope so. From your previous posts, he could be a danger to the community especially if he is desperate.

You are probably right to offer to return his family's items to them though it seems they would be in contact with you if they wanted the items. I do understand your intent to do what is right regardless of what others do around you. I'm pretty sure that's what the Scripture means "Vengeance is mind saith the Lord."

You are an example of God's love.

smile

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#10033 - 03/30/06 09:02 PM Re: Looking for some perspective, please!
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
No he is not in jail. They released him on his own recognasance (sp?) I have been told by my attorney that the word around the courthouse is that he will get 5-6 years. My understanding is that he will go straight to whatever punishment on April 21 after sentencing.

Diane, my son (nearly 21-18 at the time) knows everything--in fact my son is the one who found the child porn on his father's computer and after much agonizing called the police. I didn't know until he broke down in tears one morning and told me that they were investigating dad.

It has been awful for us all, but even more so for my son--and I can get very angry when I think about the position my husband put our son in. Turns out my son had found the child porn many years earlier while using dad's computer for a school report that was due. He knew what he saw was bad, but didn't know why he'knew' it was bad. He was simply too young and since he couldn't/wouldn't verbalize it, he internalized it for years, pushing the memory down until one day as a young adult he had to see if his father was still looking at such things. He was and my son turned his father in.

I can wish that perhaps he would have told me, perhaps things could have been handled differently, but the cold reality is that his father was breaking the law and when you know someone is breaking the law you are to report it.

I only pray that my son is not damaged because of all this. I pray the images he saw are miraculously removed from his memory. I pray that Satan never tries to accuse him/make him feel guilty for doing the right thing.

I believe at this point that his father knows who made the call and started the investigation. His dad has not tried to call him or contact him in several months. I am relieved and yet so disappointed in this man who in my mind should be calling his son and saying, "Look I made a terrible mistake, and I am going to pay the price, but I want to pass on my wisdom to you. I want to give you as you enter adulthood my blessings, etc.." I think his dad could have done so much to release my son from the responsibility of calling the police, but that would require a man of courage and there's only one man of courage in my home--and that's my son! May God continue to richly bless my boy!

Sorry all, I got emotional again.

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#10034 - 03/30/06 10:20 PM Re: Looking for some perspective, please!
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
What an honorable young man. You must be so proud of him. I don't even know him and I'm proud of him. [Smile]

It must freak you out to know you were married to a man who was involved in such things. After I left my abusive ex, I did some investigating and found that he had been arrested for exposing himself to little girls. I felt like vomiting!

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#10035 - 03/31/06 03:15 AM Re: Looking for some perspective, please!
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Dianne and Smilinize are both accurate in their comments and regarding his father, these men never think what they are doing is wrong and would never stop, escalate maybe, but stop never until discoverd. These individuals only think of themselves or else they wouldn't do the things they do and certainly never where an innocent family member could find them out.

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