Watching the changes

Although we know our folks are getting older, it is sometimes difficult to see the changes that occur. Slower walk (or using a walker), impaired site, forgetting simple tasks. I continually remind myself that I must appreciate all the time I have remaining with my folks.

Bear Hugs
Patricia

My dad is 89, still bowls on two leagues and loves to fish. What I HAVE noticed is that he looks more frail and does everything slower now. My mom is 79 and never seems to age mentally. She had a hip replacement in January and was out and about in five weeks much to the amazement of her doctor and everyone else. When I do call her she is never home and tells me I should call her at night when she is. Problem is, when night time rolls around then I'M tired!

I do wish now that they hadn't moved down to Florida. They kept their home up in Ohio but haven't been back in over a year. They enjoy the holidays with their friends down in Florida but really miss our family here.

They say "your only as old/young as you feel." That may be truer than any of us knows. Mom is 85 and still works a full time job, drives and takes care of my 62 year old Epileptic brother, she can run rings around most of us...God Bless her...

Chatty, I knew a woman in CT whose 90+ year old mom was still taking a train into Manhattan every day to work a full time job!! Some days, I get tired going downstairs to do laundry...

My dad has Parkinsons and he's gone downhill so quickly. Someone has to cut his meat for him before he can eat. I just pray I don't end up like him.

Another piece that we need to consider is that our parents are very tuned in to their changes. It must be frustrating for them to fee how they are failing. I'm grateful that my dad never dwells on those issues. He is so upbeat and stays focused on the postive. What a role model, huh?

Truth be told Dotsie, my dad never talks about how he feels. He always says he feels fine. Now my mom will tell you about each and every fart that came out the wrong way. She'd even call me at work to tell me what she "thought" she saw in the toilet. I finally told her to quit looking!

I cheerish every minute I spend with my 86 year old mother. She is now blind, and the anger I feel of knowing that it could have been prevented, plus watching her waste unnecessarily while she sits within her herself, in darkeness... I visit with her daily, she apologizes for causing me so much trouble; I thank her for the opportunity of sharing and helping her. I remind her that life is like a wheel. As young ones our parents care for us, and do the best they know how; as time lapses, and our parents get older and needier, it is our time- the children, to care for them. It is part of the wheel of life... when I ask people to please care for my mother as they would with their own, my husband reminds me that there are lots of people who hate their mothers... it saddens me when the realization sinks in. The reality is that in fact, that is true, how sad that some cannot raise above their painful experiences by way of realizing that we are all HUMAn/ parents included. We all do what we think is right at specific times. Most of the time, parents act out their frustrations, limitations, and painful upbringing on their children without the realization of the pain they are inflicting...to hurt them back when they need us, it to act out, what they did to us; and the cycle will continue.
this is the legacy we will leave for our children to learn to do to us...
It is not a matter of teaching or being afraid that it would be done to us, but the issue at hand it to be greater than anything wrong or painful pieces of our childhood; I believe is overcoming the little broken pieces;put them together and see beauty in its creation, the individual character that each of us have created while and becoming whole.