parents & immortality

I remember the first time that I realized my mother wasn't immortal. Several years ago, a doctor found a black spot on her lung. We waited an agonizing week to hear back on the test results to find out that it wasn't cancerous.
From that time on, I've had niggling thoughts in the back of my mind that I'd one day have to face the fact that my mother won't be with me. Last Spring, my step-dad died leaving my mother on her own. Once again, I faced the inevitable that one day my mother would be the one to die. And now, only a week or so ago, my mom had a minor stroke. Minor, thank God, but a stroke non-the-less. She has a blockage in her carotid artery. 60% blockage that the doctors are treating with medication.
I'm 41 years old and I am only now realizing that my mom won't be around forever. It's a staggering thought and makes me realize my own immortality.

Does anyone else ever have these strange thoughts go through their head at weird times?

Vicki

Gosh, Vicki, I think the question should be is there anyone who doesn't have them??

I lost my mother and husband within 2 years of each other. I have a brother, but he has his own family and life now (We are 4 years apart, he is the younger.). My father is very alive and vibrant, has a few health issues but is overall able to do what he wants to do physically and financially. He had both knees replaced at the same time three years ago and you'd never know it. He is almost 79, but looks much younger (Many people think he is my husband when they meet us and I am 54! Humpf--now I am thinking that I don't know whether that is a complement to him or a slap at me, huh???!!). He is constantly on the go and is always helping out others. Anyway, my thoughts are running along the lines of, gee, I am here helping out with my very elderly (aged 90+) relatives (maternal side great aunts and uncles that are childless and have nobody else left) and my father is helping with them too. So, what happens when Dad goes? I can see myself in the same place as the elderly maternal ones are right now--having to depend on great nieces or nephews, etc. for assistance in living daily life. It scares the heck out of me, and then I feel SOOO guilty for even having those thoughts. It makes me sound so selfish, even to myself. It's a conundrum, that's for sure....