Posted by: CrosstitchQueen
Hurt feelings....... - 10/15/06 01:17 PM
Hmmmm.......not sure if this is the forum this belongs in.........I guess I need a forum titled "Family" but since my Mom's involved in this I decided I'd start here.
My family has hurt my feelings and I can't seem to get past it. My sis-in-law has never been the warmest person in the world, but we do okay when we are together (only during family gatherings or whatever, neither one of us would ever call the other for a fun day out or anything....not that kind of relationship!) Anyway, her son, my nephew, and his wife are expecting a baby. My SIL called to tell me there was going to be a baby shower and invites were being put into the mail, and that the shower would be a week from Sunday. It would be held at a private home which I had no idea where it was. Being a good aunt I looked online to see what they'd registered for and went out and bought the (expensive) high chair they wanted and wrapped this huge box and put a big bow on it. The invitation never came. My mom had gotten the same message and kept calling and asking "did you get your's yet?" Finally the day before the shower was supposed to be, I called my SIL. Oh yea the shower was the next day, her replys was "well I meant to call you yesterday but I didn't get around to it. And I was going to call you today but I fell asleep on the couch". Well.....that annoyed me some. She knew I didn't know where it was or have a clue as to how to get there. Ok, so I go to the shower. My SIL's best friend picked up my Mom and then they picked up my SIL so they were all riding together, I drove myself. It was in another city, about 1/2 an hour away. As soon as they were done opening gifts (they were getting ready to cut into a sheet cake) my SIL jumped up and told my mom that they were going to meet my brother and the best friend's husband at a restaurant and have dinner before they took her home. Didn't ask her if that was ok with her.....just told her this was what they'd decided. (My mom is 84). I was parked behind them and had to move my car so they could leave and decided I might as well make my exit too even though I know it looked like we all zipped out of there as soon as we could make an exit. What hurt my feelings was......they never even asked if I'd like to join them for dinner before I headed home. And my mother just got into their car and I knew she'd never say a word like "Hey how about asking Ann if she'd like to join us?" and I found out yesterday that I was right about that......she didn't open her mouth!! I'm REALLY fed up with my SIL.......first off for having to track her down to find out about the shower (turned out the invites were never mailed, that's another story, my neice-in-law or whatever you call her ended up handing out invitations herself to her own shower!!) I'm annoyed that no one could be bothered to call me. And then the way they left the shower and didn't ask if I'd like to join them.....I felt like I was invisible. I'm having a hard time getting past it too. My mother doesn't speak up to anyone but I know darned well if the situation had been reversed I'd have made sure she was included!! Now she's calling to ask me if I can take her to a couple of appointments and I'm going to end up taking her but it's hard for me to be patient with her when I'm really annoyed as heck with both her and my SIL.
Any words of wisdom to help me get past this? I know that it probably sounds petty and so not worth it. And I know my Mom is 84 and I should just forget it and move on, I would hate for something to happen to her with me feeling this way about things. But I have always always ALWAYS been there for her since my dad passed away many years ago and couldn't she have just this once spoken up for ME??!! As for my SIL, I don't see much of her, and while I thought we were getting along better than we used to, this has proven me wrong......I used to think she didn't give a darn about anything or anyone but herself and that's pretty much what I'm feeling about her now. My feelings are hurt and I have no desire to talk to or spend time with any of them right now.
Ann
My family has hurt my feelings and I can't seem to get past it. My sis-in-law has never been the warmest person in the world, but we do okay when we are together (only during family gatherings or whatever, neither one of us would ever call the other for a fun day out or anything....not that kind of relationship!) Anyway, her son, my nephew, and his wife are expecting a baby. My SIL called to tell me there was going to be a baby shower and invites were being put into the mail, and that the shower would be a week from Sunday. It would be held at a private home which I had no idea where it was. Being a good aunt I looked online to see what they'd registered for and went out and bought the (expensive) high chair they wanted and wrapped this huge box and put a big bow on it. The invitation never came. My mom had gotten the same message and kept calling and asking "did you get your's yet?" Finally the day before the shower was supposed to be, I called my SIL. Oh yea the shower was the next day, her replys was "well I meant to call you yesterday but I didn't get around to it. And I was going to call you today but I fell asleep on the couch". Well.....that annoyed me some. She knew I didn't know where it was or have a clue as to how to get there. Ok, so I go to the shower. My SIL's best friend picked up my Mom and then they picked up my SIL so they were all riding together, I drove myself. It was in another city, about 1/2 an hour away. As soon as they were done opening gifts (they were getting ready to cut into a sheet cake) my SIL jumped up and told my mom that they were going to meet my brother and the best friend's husband at a restaurant and have dinner before they took her home. Didn't ask her if that was ok with her.....just told her this was what they'd decided. (My mom is 84). I was parked behind them and had to move my car so they could leave and decided I might as well make my exit too even though I know it looked like we all zipped out of there as soon as we could make an exit. What hurt my feelings was......they never even asked if I'd like to join them for dinner before I headed home. And my mother just got into their car and I knew she'd never say a word like "Hey how about asking Ann if she'd like to join us?" and I found out yesterday that I was right about that......she didn't open her mouth!! I'm REALLY fed up with my SIL.......first off for having to track her down to find out about the shower (turned out the invites were never mailed, that's another story, my neice-in-law or whatever you call her ended up handing out invitations herself to her own shower!!) I'm annoyed that no one could be bothered to call me. And then the way they left the shower and didn't ask if I'd like to join them.....I felt like I was invisible. I'm having a hard time getting past it too. My mother doesn't speak up to anyone but I know darned well if the situation had been reversed I'd have made sure she was included!! Now she's calling to ask me if I can take her to a couple of appointments and I'm going to end up taking her but it's hard for me to be patient with her when I'm really annoyed as heck with both her and my SIL.
Any words of wisdom to help me get past this? I know that it probably sounds petty and so not worth it. And I know my Mom is 84 and I should just forget it and move on, I would hate for something to happen to her with me feeling this way about things. But I have always always ALWAYS been there for her since my dad passed away many years ago and couldn't she have just this once spoken up for ME??!! As for my SIL, I don't see much of her, and while I thought we were getting along better than we used to, this has proven me wrong......I used to think she didn't give a darn about anything or anyone but herself and that's pretty much what I'm feeling about her now. My feelings are hurt and I have no desire to talk to or spend time with any of them right now.
Ann