Mothers

Mountain sent me a pm and asked a provocative question. I thought I would share the question, and some of my answer here, in hopes that some of you would also wish to share your Mother's story.


What is the story of the girl/woman that was (or is) your Mother?

My mother was very intelligent. She had a well rounded type of intelligence - social, math, the written word and music.

Her biggest fault was comparing herself to someone else. All of my life I remember her looking at her talents and not believing that she was damned great.

She was a stay at home mom, until all of us kids were in junior high school. Then she went to college and got her teaching license. She loved teaching, and made many friends through out her teaching years. She loved school, as I do, and loved learning.

She read every day, and read for hours at a time. She was mostly into fiction and mystery, but would read any book that was placed in front of her.

These last few months, I got to spend more time with my mother, and I realized how friendly and happy she was in life. We lived far enough apart, that I only saw her for short periods of time, and only with family. While she lived in her assisted living place, I was able to see her away from family. She was truly a fun, happy and easy going woman. She was truly loved by those that were able to spend time with her.

Thank you Ann

Anyone else?

I can completely understand, Anne. I have similar circumstances - my father died 3 days before my mothers birthday and she died 3 days after his.

I was taught that if you have nothing good to say, be quiet, so I'll just be silent on this question.

I know that I am one of the luckier daughters in this world....

My mother was a stay at home mom whose best days were when she was raising all of us. Family always came first. In fact, I believe she lost out on some things in life because she was so committed to us, but I remember that so many other women were the same during that time in history.

She was very personable, funny, current, and had tremendous morals, and sense of right from wrong.

My mom is the nicest person I know. Growing up, she never put us down or talked to us in condescending ways. She always told us how important we were and how proud she was of us AND that we could do anything we wanted to do. She put all five of us girls first in her life in everything she did.

She started each day by slinging open the front door and announcing loudly, "MORNING WORLD!" And she did so with force and conviction. She is a happy woman, never stopping, never giving in to illness. Cancer could not stop her. She said, "If I'm going to wear a wig, I'm going to have a snappy wig, one that makes a statement. And now I can finally wear hats! Am I lucky or what?"

That....is my mother.

She taught us the difference between right and wrong, what prejudice was and how to love EVERYONE, how to lift others when they needed lifting, and how to walk away from ones who would have us believe we were small.

She calls me every once in a while just to say, "Georgia, have I told you how proud I am of you lately? If not, I'm telling you now. I love you!"

Did she give up anything raising five girls and being married to the love of her life for 57 years?

I can't answer that....but my guess is if you asked mom she would laugh and say, "You're kidding, right? I've had the time of my life."

JJ, my mother always built us up too. What a blessing that was. It's something I didn't recognize until I got a little bit older (away from home) and learned that not every mother was so good at heart.

Mom also embraced wearing hats when she had cancer, and shw looked adorable in them.

Mom cared and took interest in all of our lives, but I never felt like she went overboard. She had great boundaries with regards to her adult married children.

Thank you all for sharing your stories. I was thinking about people who loose their parents when they are young; how differently I might have seen my mother if she had died when I was in my 20's or 3o's?

It's so true Anne. My friends are amazed at how much I remember about Mom. I was 18; she was 9 days short of her 44th b'day...34+ years ago. Every comment, her walk, her words, her habits, her gestures...everything is so vivid in my heart. Not ONE day goes by that I do not say "I remember my Mother....".

Don't ever think an 18 yr (and below) does not pay attention. Those formative, bonding years are imprinted in us forever.

Anno, I always loved Mom, but it wasn't until I was in my 20s that I began to admire her for her love of family.

Di, interesting, and what a tribute to her after all these years.

Thanks for that answer Di. I am sure that the impact of loosing a parent while you are so young is quite different than my own. Thanks for the perspective.

Anne, so do you feel abandonned? Dennis parents died when he was young, and he feels that way at times.

Anne, this last post of yours is especially heart-wrenching. I hope your good deeds and kind acts are richly rewarded. xxoo

Anne, I totally agree with you. The way that my grandmother got to live to 102 in her own home was due to money to pay for what she needed at the time, including 24/7 home health care.

I think all of this watching our parent's generation failing is really awakening our generation to what may possibly lie ahead. We may think we have control over it by exercising, eating well, taking supplements, etc, but I'm sure we all know people who have done the same and ended up suffering with some ridiculous disease. Anything can happen to any of us at any time. Pretty freaky to think about. I prefer not to go there. One day at a time. But we still have to financially prepare as best we can.

I had three mothers. My birth mom left me when I was 25 months old. My adoptive mom raised me and I love her for all her hard work, her giving spirit, and the lessons imparted. My spiritual mom polished my soul with Godly strength and scripture. All 3 moms left a part of themselves in my being. 2 R dead; 1 is dying.

Anne, it will also get worse because boomer's kids are spread all over the country/world. I don't know why but it seems unfair when soemone who takes care of themselves ends up suffering, then the person who smoked and drank lives on. But life isn't fair. Don't we all know that by now?

jabber, thanks for sharing so openly about your moms. Love the fact that you have a spiritual mom. Would be n eat for us to be that spiritual mom to others.

That's how it is with my spiritual mom: She never smoked, drugged, or indulged in alcohol. Now she's in a facility with alcoholics and younger folks sickened by nicotine. She's suffering. And other residents continue smoking and abusing themselves with whatever they can get their hands on.

Anne,
I cared 4 my adoptive parents; my birth mom; WB's dad; and now
I've WB's mom depending on me. U R so right; if married, you'd
probably have 2 more depending on U!

About mom. The adoptive mom who raised me, was intelligent but
only went through high school. She was friendly, fun, loving, caring, and extremely frugal. Her mom was all those things, too. Both of 'em complained about nothing, badmouthed nobody, and loved the little things in life, like: birds, scenery, warm breezes, small streams, big waterfalls. They were hardworking and honest! And I'm so grateful they adopted me.

My adoptive mom & dad and maternal grandparents lived through the Great Depression and were 4 of the greatest people to ever
walk the earth. God blessed my life beyond expression, having
lived with and known such awesome humans!!!!