Nurses with issues!!

In my hospital there are a lot of nurses with problems.
They are not there for their patients. They are mad. They are rude. They are tired all of the time no matter what their hours (and I know their hours,) They do their best in the E.R. not to check on a patient until that patient raises hell.
Wow, such problems!
Is it my hospital? Have you had good experiences with your nurses?
I had quite a bit of surgery and I can honestly say that the kind nurse was the exception, truely! What's up with this?
What are your experiences?
Dancer9

I've been in hospitals and nursing homes a lot in the last three years. Every one of the facilities has been short handed. I feel sorry for the nurses, doctors, aids and techs. They are on their feet and having to put up with patients of all kinds...my dad an easy one, my mom not so much.

I too have spent way too much time in hospitals over the past few years. And seen way too much that I wish I hadn't seen - it took me a long time to get rid of the fear of being a patient myself!

In my experience, there are exceptionally wonderful nursing staff, and then there are the ones who really shouldn't - and don't want to be - there. Unfortunately, having to deal with the latter tends to blind us to the blessing and gift that the others are.

My Mom was in two separate wards of the hospital. She spent four weeks in the first one. For the most part, she received excellent care, but there was one nurse who made her life miserable, accusing her of "faking it" - oh, don't get me started on that one! Mom throwing up all over herself and the nurse just standing there telling us she was just faking. IT STILL ENRAGES ME, because less than a month later, my Mom was dead from wide-spread bone & spinal cancer! Imagine the pain - both physical and emotional - she must have been enduring while having to listen to that nurse telling her it was all in her head.

But I digress. Can you tell this is still a very sore subject for me! That wasn't even half of it. When they moved my Mom to the general ward, the care became INTOLERABLY bad. Impossible to describe it all here - but a few images: deep rings around her bum because they would leave her on the toilet for TWO HOURS - that is not an exaggeration; putting her food on a tray too far from her bed so she couldn't reach it, then coming in 15 minutes later and removing it, uneaten, unaware that my Mom was lying in bed starving, but unable to reach the tray. (After that happening two days in a row, my brother and I both got off work early just so we could get there in time to help her); not changing her for bed, making her sleep in a wet diaper (she couldn't get out of bed, and they rarely answered her - or anyone's bells). We found out later after she died that the reason for her dismal nursing care was that she had a DNR (do not rescessitate) order on her file...OUCH, and DOUBLE OUCH.

Okay, I'll balance that off somewhat by saying that most of Gary's care was exceptional, with amazing nurses and doctors taking profound interest and treating him with great care and respect. But there was one nurse who shouldn't be a nurse. She didn't just have a bad day here and there, she had a miserable life and clearly couldn't care less about anyone else. One could commiserate with her problems, but cannot excuse her dismal treatment of her patients.

I could go on...with both good and bad stories. Staff shortages, too much overtime, impossibly high ratios of nurses to patients all contribute to making the health care environment a stressful place to work these days. My heart also goes out to them - but I still get enraged when I remember the HORRIBLE care my Mom received. No excuse or explanation will ever be satisfactory enough.

Stopping now.

My daughter is a nurse and the hospital is short-handed, causing each nurse to be responsible for eight patients at times. She works 12-hour shifts and is always exhausted. She is irritated because she knows her patients aren't receiving the care they need and deserve and there is nothing she can do about it.

Honestly, today I would hate to go into a hospital out of fear of the care I'd get.

Eagle Heart, I hope you reported your mom's treatment. That doesn't sound like overworked nurses, aides, etc. That sounds like cruel mistreatment... and should have be reported. If the hospital administrator wouldn't listen, then it should have gone higher and higher and higher - even gotten on the local news. In fact, it might not be too late to contact a news agent and have them do a story on DNR patients in that hospital. That type of treatment is beyond not acceptable.

I did get a wee bit emotional there, didn't I...sorry. Hard to give an objective perspective on this issue.

Gims, I can't recall when, but I shared in the forums here about a "chance" encounter a couple of years ago, in Cuba of all places. The woman sitting on the lounge chair beside me at the pool found out we were both from Ottawa and we started chatting. She asked me a lot of questions, which led to me telling her about my Mom's recent death, which then led me to an emotional rant about her treatment in the hospital. She asked me which hospital - and then told me that she was the PR for that hospital! After that conversation, she often sought me out and we ended up talking a lot over the course of her vacation. Before she left, she promised me that she was going to do an investigation into that ward and especially the treatment of terminally ill DNR elders. She vowed to make changes. I don't think I believed her at the time.

Fast-forward a couple of years later. One morning I pick up the paper and start reading the first part of a week-long series on the palliative care of terminally ill patients in the local hospitals. The report actually mentioned the exact same examples of mistreatment that my Mom had experienced, the same ones I had shared with that woman. Then the series went on to tell how the hospitals had implemented new education and palliative care programs for the hospital staff (not just nurses, but everyone, including even the housekeeping staff). It was clear that changes had indeed been implemented, with special attention to geriatric and terminal DNR patients.

I was impressed, and knew in my heart that that woman by the pool in Cuba had kept her promise. God does indeed work in mysterious ways, doesn't He! My Mom's dismal experience may have ended up helping others in ways we'll never even know about.

This is an interesting thread. As most have said...some are good, others bad pretty much like any profession out there. Sadly, the few that are horrid are the memorable ones. Nursing today has taken on a whole other dimension. Much time is spent in paperwork and administration leaving the bedside nursing care to the nurse's aides. I'm so pleased to be working in a hospice now. The staff and patient ratio is very small and lends itself to good nursing care and more importantly, the time to be a good nurse. I'm very blessed to be there. But in the larger facilities and hospitals I have to say that nurses suffer from burn out big time. The stress is unbearable with the shortage of nurses all across the country. This is only the other side of things that I speak of because there is absolutely NO excuse for cruel treatment....none. Anyone doing that should be reported and hopefully fired immediately. But I do understand the stress of nursing. I think it's one reason why so many leave to go to offices. A nurse is stuck between the demands of doctors and supervisers and giving good patient care. I've had my share of hospitalizations, too. I was literally left to fend for myself for 4 days as an inpatient. It was awful. I'm not sure what the answers are to a huge problem but everything has a different perspective to it.

I hate to say this, but I think the reasons for going into nursing have changed. Once, people (mostly women) went into nursing because they had a desire to help people in a caregiving capacity. Nowadays, you see TV commercials recruiting everyone to come and join the nursing field. They entice with $$, training, image, etc. I think, because of this, many enter the field as a "I don't know what else to do with my life" way of thinking. And, 'this sounds simple enough." Plus, all the red-tape involved in the medical field - it's a wonder there's not a bigger shortage of nurses.
There might even be an element of generations, unlike the past, that don't really care about the idea of caring for (they might think of it more like waiting on) other people.
When I worked, I was a workhorse (stupid, I know). I worked along side an upcoming generation that learned all they had to do was stay on the better side of the higher ups - game playing, no nose to the plow mentality. I think that's the rule of the day to an extent, still.

Gims you are so right, so far as my hospital goes! Its about pleasing the higher ups and doing as little as possible! I'm so, so sorry, Eagle Heart, with the trauma you witnessed, I'm surprised you went back to a hospital!
I'm in a position to watch nurses all day. I see them work with their patients and they don't have too many. They have plenty of help from LPN's NA's, etc.
It's just laziness and getting by.
The sad thing is the young vets who come in are treated in this fashion and they are shell shocked and frightened, very frightened. Thanks for posting.

One thing I learned through these experiences with both Mom and Gary is that patients today need an advocate. Squeaky wheels do get the grease, and if ever there was a place where a squeaky wheel is desperately needed, it's at the bedside of a hospital patient, especially one who has no family or someone with enough courage to speak up.

Gary and I learned too late in Mom's case, but I carried that lesson and used it to help Gary. I asked kindly first, then begged and finally stomped my foot whenever necessary to get his voice heard and needs taken care of.

I also learned where to find the linens and how to make a hospital bed, how to fetch a bed pan and sneak it under the sheets without peeking (forever trying to maintain Gary's dignity), and where to find the best help when the buzzer didn't work. As the nurses became aware of how hard I was working to help Gary and alleviate their workload, the more inclined they were to go out of their way to tend to Gary when I couldn't.

Plus they enjoyed his sense of humour. I guess it was rare on that ward.

Eagle, we also learned this while caring for Mom when she was sick with cancer. Honestly, I don't know how people do it without a loved one in town, or a good friend , or someone to be there for them. In some cases, they probably get the worse care. Sad, but true.

Being independent has always been my desire in life but I agree wholeheartedly with Eagle. Everyone needs someone to watch out for them when old and sick. I feel so bad for those left to the moods of caregivers when alone and there is no one to speak for them. I mean their nurses and doctors as well.

Eagle Heart,
You sound so loving when you talk about your husband and the experience you went through with him. I like to think my husband and I would do the same. We both have brothers and sisters but because of family dysfunction, no one is close. We have each other and you make it all sound as if it can be done.
I am sorry for your loss, but one can learn much from your attitude and experience.
Dancer9

Dancer, just to clarify that Gary was my brother (also my best friend & closest confidante). My very healthy-and-alive hubby still supports me all the way; Gary was my much-beloved 43-year-old brother who was in hospital and died of Hodgkin's lymphoma 17 months ago.

Oh, I see, Eagle Heart. Thanks for the clarification and sorry for the mistake. Compliments still stand, however!
Dancer

The past three years, I've visited a nursing home often. Paychecks seem to be an employee's single motivation. Workers' do as little as possible; are unkind to residents; and make fun of the elderly, when they think no one is listening. During these
past months, I've also visited hospitals and find the same attitude. "Laziness and getting by" seems to be the fad. I feel sorry for any in-patient at these facilities.

This all really saddens me to hear. If it matters at all, there are some very dedicated nurses out here struggling with overwork and unimaginable stress from having to do so much extra. I know there are the bad apples but there are in any profession. It just saddens me so because it's so personal to me.

I was a nurse for 20 years until I got burned out. Fortunately, I recognized the symptoms and left before I lost my compassion. Perhaps the 'bad' nurses are merely suffering compassion fatigue (aka burnout) and don't feel they have any way out. I knew several excellent nurses like that. I also know how hard it is to find a job outside the profession when that is all you have done. I'm not excusing the behavior of these nurses, but they often do feel trapped, which only compounds the problem. I felt trapped between administration, patients, their families, and doctors and felt pulled in so many different directions. Hospitals are not known for being good to their nurses - I could tell some real horror stories about how nurses are treated - and that doesn't help the problem either. You couldn't pay me enough money to go back into the profession now!

Yonuh, I understand completely. I've also known nurses that were trapped and with major burnout. The pressures are immense. It's simply to say that they should get out of the profession but life dictates a lot of what we do and if that's what we know then we do it. If you to talk to most healthcare workers they'll give you a list of places they've worked. Only a few have stayed in the same place. You've got to find where you fit in and where you get the support you need for what you do.

Yonuh,
Would you mind posting some of the ways that the hospitals are not good to nurses? I have seen good nurses where I am, yes. As a whole, they do their job in the E.R.. But I would like to understand their plight.
Dancer0

I know there are good and bad employees, and good and bad bosses in every profession. But elderly people, especially those that have been abused, need tender, loving care. And I guess my heart is particularly sensitive to my friend. I know too that working with the elderly is difficult. I couldn't do what these aids and nurses do. For one thing, I have a weak stomach and frail nerves. But nursing is not the place for anything other than warmth and compassion. I'm sure it's easy to get burnout in that profession. And I do feel sorry for caregivers. All I can say is: God help them and the people they're suppose to help.

Jabber, that's really the bottom line, isn't it. I too have the utmost respect and compassion for the nurses and the stress, burnout and difficulties they face every single day of their working lives. There's no way I could do that joy, no way!!! And I'm profoundly grateful for those who DO do that job.

But no matter how much compassion and understanding we have for the caregivers, we cannot "unsee" the distress and inadvertent neglect that our loved ones suffer. I would dearly love to see the health care environment improve so that nursing staff are not under such terrible pressure - but the sad reality is that illness doesn't hit a person at someone else's convenience, and basic needs don't wait for those improvements to be implemented.

Advocacy for the patient and prayer for the caregivers...I personally don't know what else to do when you're outside of the profession yet inside the suffering of a loved one.

Nurses, to me, should be saluted. They fall into a similar category as the military, for me. I've been around enough to say it's a 'gross' job. When in the position to do so, I help as I can, without making them look as if their service is lacking... I, too, have made beds, held potty tools, cleaned up cr**, fetched food, applied medicines and bandaging, etc. I've visited rooms where other patients can't seem to settle to talk, read or sing (and I can't sing) to them. Since the majority of the hospital visits have been for my older relatives, the beds have been filled with the older generation. It's a close race as to which my heart goes out to the most - the older generation and baby/children, even though children and babies have more advocates and tend to have better nurses, aides and techs.

I had my first encounter, (close,) with a man with dementia the other day. He was brought in from his nursing home because he fell. To their credit, the nursing home sent a rep, and the wife was called, she lives at home while he is in the home.
It was hard to deal with because he kept trying to get off the gurney. I had to take him to x-ray and that was a trip on his gurney for him. It was hard to keep him on it when he was not making any sense so I could not make sense to him! Later, his wife needed a break when he was in the E.R. so I offered to stay with him while she took a break. I felt a bit scared as I tried to stop him from taking off his blanket where he was pretty much undressed underneath.
I came to understand what it is to have a person you care about have dementia. His wife seemed fine though and did not complain. She told me that she could not take it full time so she put him into the nursing home. He seems to know her though and when she is around he behaves better.
Just thought I'd vent this here, where we are talking about nurses and I work with patients all the time.
Dancer9

I think Washington's death with dignity law should be applauded!
It was 5 years ago that I visited many nursing homes around Atlanta thinking it was time to find one for my mother. I sure hope they are getting better because what I saw was really disturbing! Of course, I was looking at Medicaid homes, perhaps the ones for people who can pay are nicer? Anyway, I ended up quiting my job and moving her in here. Just could not have put my worst enemy in some of the ones I saw.

Interesting points, Anne. In hospice, all we can do is to medicate and make sure they do not suffer. But of course, the wait for death is there. That's all we can do.

Anne, your clients are very blessed to have you as their caregiver. I really love the tenderness in your voice when you talk about them. I would be so lucky to have someone like you in my corner when the time comes.