There IS life after divorce!

Posted by: Jan Masters

There IS life after divorce! - 07/10/12 06:08 PM

I've been there! Got divorced in '83 and met my current husband soon after that. We are soul mates and have been together for 29 years this summer! The thing is you DO have to work on yourself and your issues to become the woman for whom your ideal guy is really a match. Then you will see magic happen. IT happened to me..and I worked my butt off on my stuff...
Once you get past the blame game in divorce, then you can really take a look at yourself and your part it all of it. I know we HATE to do that, but blame keeps YOU stuck and you can't grow that way.
Anyway...just wanting to shine a ray of hope here. xo


Jan **::**
Posted by: Anne HolmesAdministrator

Re: There IS life after divorce! - 07/11/12 04:06 AM

Jan, you may be "preaching to the choir" here: I agree with you that there is life after divorce, and there are several other active members here in the forum who have also lived through divorce and experienced a better life with husband #2.

Not sure it always takes "working your butt off," on "your own issues." Sometimes the first husband just turns out to be a jerk who doesn't understand the concept of fidelity. Or he becomes an abusive drunk. In other words, sometimes WE leave THEM...

In my case, all it took me to find my soul mate was perseverance -- it was a huge effort to find time -- between my hours at work and my life as a parent -- to get myself out of the house and meet new people.

To do so I joined church committees, a political party, a business club and a gym as I am not and never was a "bar person."

Eventually (OK almost 5 years and a number of frogs later) magic happened: I met the my prince, sparks flew and we were married less than a year after we met. That was 25 years ago.
Posted by: jabber

Re: There IS life after divorce! - 07/11/12 02:04 PM

IMHO it's unwise for women to go looking for husband-material in bars. The guys that hang out in bars, will probably still be hanging out in bars after they're married. Glad you found mister right!
Posted by: Anne HolmesAdministrator

Re: There IS life after divorce! - 07/11/12 08:37 PM

I'm sure you're right about that Jabber.

My only enjoyable "bar time" was in college. A big group of us used to go to a college bar after hockey games. Hockey was a big sport at the UW Madison at that time. Herb Brooks - later famous as the 1980 US Olympic Hockey Coach -- the was the UW coach.

We never went to bars after football games, though. I'm not sure why - maybe it was due to the time of the game being in the afternoon - while hockey games were at night.

Anyway, after football games we would go to dinner and then head off to a frat house for the evening. Beer was consumed at the frat house, but never during the game.

But I digress... (isn't that a good speech Kurt Russell delivers in the role of Herb Brooks?)
Posted by: jabber

Re: There IS life after divorce! - 07/12/12 11:19 PM

Did the bar scene in college, too. Know what ya mean! Could watch Kurt Russell in any role, who cares what he says!!! LOL...
Posted by: jabber

Re: There IS life after divorce! - 07/30/18 11:22 PM

Sometimes divorce can be the beginning to a great life and and an end to a bad one.