Taking care of yourself this summer!

It is important for all women to take care of themselves. Of course, eat well and exercise, but it is a MUST to take 10 minutes for yourself everyday no matter what.

It is especially important for "single again" moms to take care of themselves. That once shared to-do list does at times seem never ending.

This summer, what can you do for yourself to recharge your batteries or to keep your energy tank full? Just 10 minutes everyday!

Please share. It is amazing what we can learn from each other.

If you can do 15 minutes or even more that is great! Some women are struggling with 10.

Once every hour no matter how busy I am I get up and walk from the back office of my home all around to the living room and back three times, then drink a cup of ice cold water and then back to work.

But at night when settled in to watch TV, during every commercial I stand up and march in place. Or if you have room in your TV area, place a straight back chair and sit in it. Then when the commercials come on just stand up straight and sit, rise and sit, rise and sit, until its over and do it throughout the evening, Great exercise for strengthning your calves, butt and thighs...Easy too, little strain.

uh-oh, I take way more than 10 minutes because I'm walking, have a prayer time, and take an evening bath. But you know what? The rest of the day I hardly stop. I go from the time my feet hit the floor in the morning until I take my bath at night.

But you are so right. If we don't take care of ourselves, who will take care of us?

Thanks Anne.I'm trying.

Sorry, I don't quite get it. If a woman no longer has young children (either hers or grandchildren), why would a person's personal schedule be so full or should it be so full that it's only 15 mins. of personal time?

Would a man say the same thing if he also had no children living in same home??

Depends where one puts priorities. Having a super organized and constantly clean home is not always a priority for us. I figure, no one is going to remember our personal achievement in terms of how clean our home is. That's not how we remember the best things about his mother, that's for sure and she was a good housewife. Even my partner, who is a neat freak, sleeps on the couch for an hr. in middle of afternoon. Goes for a bike ride. Is on computer. Spends at least half of the day on his biz or more.

Oh yea, we only do washing machine laundry every 2 weeks.
But we shower every day.

His children haven't lived with him for years.

I'm lost here... we're at a stage in life where we should have more personal time automatically built in our lives.

The operative word there is should.

I work full time, have a disabled partner who requires help walking, eating, dressing, getting in and out of bed, showering, etc. In addition, my father recently died, and my mother, who has alzhiemers, is moving to the city where I live. This means finding a place, driving to pick her up (2 hours), show her the place (2 hours) driving her home (2 hours) and driving myself home again to be with my partner.Then it will be packing her up, selling tons of furniture, antiques, etc, moving her into assisted living and selling the house.

15 minutes??? I would love to have 15 minutes somedays.

I'm sorry Anno, I didn't mean to discount aging family care responsibilties.

Sad thing is that, you will get more time much later but not in the way you might want it.

As for the free personal time, we have at home, probably a reason why he and I have been so active on our bikes and travel in past few decades. No point in waiting until retirement to such things, to travel..because we are healthy now. I'm constantly reminded of this when I chug along on bike while he cycles ahead of me..I know it will not be like this forever.

He is 66 and I am 50.

Oh, no offense taken. It just bothers me that as I am getting older, my responsibilities seem to grow, rather than lessen. I have free time, too. I take it. I am good to myself.

I am responsible for taking care of myself as well as giving care to others. I work hard to keep my down time in the fore front.

I have family responsibities since my husband has had a series of health issues....all worked hard at to overcome.
Life can change in a second...and may never go back to what it was.
Its then a type of grieving can occur.Being aware that any change could be soul destroying.
Unlike loosing a parent...I did..then loved Grandparents who were my primary carers...when grief was overwhelming.
We lost a baby..went on to have a son who joined a sister..all grief.
I have had loss of health..cope with these changes...
Loss of career...
BUT
when you have glimpsed into the next room of life..sat beside hospital beds..crept in to see if your husband is still alive and swooned that indeed he is it is easy so very easy to put yourself second.
In the past year sometimes it was 11.00am until I combed my hair..
I alway saw to medical needs first..prepared food.Really got caught up in a domestic swirling dervish.
Its not just aging people...my friend cared for her husband for 11 years...indeed at his death even lost her memory for an afternoon.We tended to her..she is rebuilding.
Women who are Boomers may have these responsibilites.

I took time in church each Sunday to ground myself...wrote each day when I had time..soon a book will finished.

But I admit to taking second or even third place in priorities.
I admire Ann who works..it gives her balance..my dear friend who was a tad older and wiser than me who is now no long here had a husband with dementia..she said " I did not invite dementia into my home.."
its been being sensitive to those around me that I have learned what is important..But time can be eaten up when someone dear and near needs care.
I am sharing this because unless you have seen something or been told then it may be hard to imagine anothers life..not in any way to elicit sympathy..
Sympathy shouts..Empathy whispers.

I make time for myself. It's important. I'm no good to others if I don't take care of myself. Sometimes I don't get as much "me" time as I would like in any given day, but I try to make up for it later on. If there's too much on my schedule today for me to have any time to either do the things I enjoy or just be, then I try to take a little extra time tomorrow. I know about having to care for others. My husband is a quadraplegic. My mother is 87 and lives 30 minutes away. I have two dogs that think I'm Mom.
A good friend of mine recently lost her quadraplegic husband after 20+ years of marriage. She did EVERYTHING for him.........got him up,showered, dressed, cut up his food, put him into his wheelchair, combed his hair, you name it. They had a very loving relationship, it was obvious they adored each other, but now he's gone, and the adjustment she is going thru to the change in her life is major. She devoted so much of her time to his wants and needs that she doesn't know how to put herself first anymore. She told me the other day that it felt so strange to be able to get up, showered, dressed and out of the house in 45 minutes. It's hard enough to deal with the loss of a loved one but I think it's even harder when you've devoted all your time to caring for them and have to rediscover a life of your own.

Your friend sounds just like my friend who also had a long term caring role.
May I ask have you always given that time or like me did you find out that it was essential.
I like that you have shared...
Yes..I savour days out and look forward to returning home with a bit of outside energy in my being.

In thinking back, I don't think I always made time for myself, but eventually I found out how much it was needed and it became a priority.
A change of pace, a change of scenery, some good laughs with friends, and I come home with renewed energy and a better outlook!

So true. Sometimes all we need is a break in the action. There are times when all it takes for me is walking out the door, getting some fresh air, and maybe going around the block. The outdoors can totally change my mood for the better.

Get some enjoyment out of each day. Life is precious. Time flies.
Okay. Okay. So cliches are getting on your nerves. Truth is
truth, even if you've heard it a million times.

Cross-stitch, I worked for 3 years in one of Canada's biggest rehabilitation hospitals devoted exclusively to care of spinal cord injured adult patients.

Hospital treats both paraplegics and quadriplegics.

I was a medical librarian at that (much) earlier time in my career. We also had professional psychiatrist, social workers on staff as part of the patient care teams, to handle pyscho-social problems experienced by the patient and their immediate family members.

I am aware that the rate of marital success/happiness among paraplegics and quadriplegics is challenged severely if there is a sudden lifelong traumatic injury sustained by the patient that results in either paraplegia or quadriplegia. The role of the able-bodied partner changes in the marriage. Someimes the marriages fall apart.

you must have your own support group of other like-oriented caregivers. It's great that you take time daily for physical exercise. It is necessary.

I was taught that more females remain as carers and that one in three marriages disolve after the partner is changed by disability.
Likewise parents whose marriage/partnership changes when the child is or becomes disabled often part.
That is one reason facilitating life stories for those involved has to be handled sensitivly..It can cause setbacks for the participant when touched on without backup if upset is caused.
Journaling is one example..time lines another...allowing student to question a cared for person is a sensitive area also..