Whatcha gonna do???

A few weeks ago my ex showed up at my door very early one morning. He looked as though someone had beat the crap out of him BUT as he explained he woke up that way. LONG story short he had had a stroke behind one eye and the blood vessels ruptured filling the eye with blood. He could barely see to walk around. He has no one, all relatives are long since dead. SOOOOO I told him to come in, and he has been here ever since getting well. He went back to work this week so should be able to leave. My friends say I am a fool for helping him and he doesn't deserve any kindness from me BUT I wouldn't kick a dog trying to bite me, and he was a soul in need. He couldn't drive to and from the doctor, or cook, couldn't see a thing as the other eye got all bloody and swollen as well. He has been a perfect gentleman and trying not to be messy or agrivating so if i am a fool then so be it. Would I do it again? Yep, I would. No one should be alone in a time like that. But he is one of the reasons I am plannig to move away from Vegas in the ot to far future...What would you have done in my place?

Hello,
Good for you! Part of moving your life forward is forgiveness! I would hope if I was in the same situation, my former husband would help me!
Joanie

I think you should be commended for it, Chatty. It is not about what the other has done to you in the past but, what you do at the present. And, when you can extend a helping hand to another regardless of what has transpired between the two of you, then what you do is nothing short of admirable. If there is anyone who appears foolish, it would be him. For letting you slip away.

It's good for you (and him too!) that your kindness can triumph over past hurts. Sometimes it's hard not to hold a grudge. You did the right thing. You can always kick him out again next week.

Chatty
You did the right thing.
If this allowed you to look forward to moving then thats good too.
I hope you find a place you will be happy to settle.
No one is stuck and you have moveable talent(crochet hooks are not heavy...your penmanship likewise...your love of animals and humans)
We are bigger people when we forgive.
Mountain ash

Chatty

What a beautiful big heart you have! I don't know the background or circumstances of your situation AND I believe you did exactly what you felt you needed to do and if, in the process, you were able to create a center of peace and forgiveness, how amazing is that!

Congratulations for following your heart and doing what you think best at the time. Lots of love, light and healing to you!

That is a Random Act of Kindness, Chatty! A perfect specimen of "turning the other cheek". Do unto others as you what have them do unto you. The Golden Rule put into place in your "golden years".

I admire you!

How are you doing Chatty? Is he still with you?

You have a good heart for all helpless beings. Someday this will all come back to you; a thousand fold.

Nope, he's gone home now and hopefully he will stay there. The doctors say that unless he is careful, next time it happens it could be a total stroke. I'm sorry but I am not up for 24/7 care of an invalid, especially one who is lucky I even open my door to him at all, for any reason... Hopefully he will take better care of himself.

I sure would love to but am stuck here for maybe another year. I have the dogs, the SPCA needss me and it just isn't a good time yet. I really want to get the he// out of Dodge so to speak however. Time will tell Anne. I have also thought seriously of opening my home up to women borders as a sort of group/fun place to be. I could accomodate 4 or 5 comfortably and that would mean 'cheap' rent for everyone. The ammenities I have here are awesome, pools, jacuzzis, tennis courts, librarys, exercise rooms, pool tables, putting greens, and very wide blacktop roads to walk or ride bikes etc. PLus I am only five miles from the famous Vegas Strip... But we'll see.

Chatty, you've got wings gal! Hope he knows what an angel you've been to him. What part of the country would you transplant yourself?

Well I LOVE rain, lots and lotrs oif greenery, grass, bushes, trees and plenty of places to throw in a fishing pole i nto a swift running creek. I have been considering Jackson Hole, Wyoming maybe. Its a ways off though so for now, here has to do...

I did live in Loveland, Colorado years ago and that was really nice and since we have many Boomers located in and around Colorado that may be the place for me. I want to have lots of gal friends to hang with...

There's lots of fishing in the South, too!

Chatty, lots of those places in Ohio too!! We have just about a bit of everything: hot summers, cold winters w/snow, lots of fishing from Lake Erie to the Ohio River and plenty of places in between, gambling boats (if you're near the state lines along Kentucky or Indiana or W. Virginia), plenty of sports if you're in to that (football, baseball, basketball, soccer, college, pro, semi-pro), plenty of great libraries and museums, great and lovely park systems and national forests/wild life sanctuaries, wonderfully hilly landscapes in the south, flat land up and marshes north along the lake, and you can get nearly anywhere in the state in the matter of a couple hours...and lots of friendly folks here. Oh and so many cool festivals and art shows from April through October too!

And I must say, the cost of living here is pretty good...I don't think I could live on what I make elsewhere like the west coast or NY but I live quite comfortably here. Yup, I do like living here LOL.

I had a friend that moved from Chicago to Columbus, Ohio and she loved it. I believe she has passed away in 1999 however.

keyholes, you sound so happy!

chatty, if you do take women in, be very careful. Do background check, past employee checks etc.

chatty, you have such a big heart. I admire you for that. It sounds like he knew he had to behave while he was there, and in doing so, it shows that he appreciates you; for what that's worth.

Actually, yes I am...all goes back to that lighter living thing...well, now...if I could only lose 20 physical pounds I'd be ecstatic

keyholes, I hear ya on the weight thing...as I sit here starving and contemplating what to put in my mouth.

Here is one of my secrets in weight loss. Its what we stick in our mouth when we feel as Dotsie is mentio9ning above. Now meat has no carbs, none... It has no sugar either, it is protein and good for us. SO, ebvery week I buy chicken legs and breasts, I cut up the breasts about the size of a leg and then place an entire cooking sheet of them in the oven to bake... I slather them while cooking with diluted bar-b-que sauce or garlic and light E.V. oil. When well roasted I take them out let them cool and place three pieces in plastic bags. I freeze these bags and every morning take one out. If I have the urge to nibble I munch on one. I do this all day if need be, or one at night before bed. I lost 47 pounds so far doing this...It works.

I sent away for the Nutri-System food thinking maybe I could do better, faster but it didn't work for me. It was okay? But I have a sensitive flavor palate and the foods flavor though tasty, wasn't up to my standards. I prefer my own cooking.

I have a couple weeks $100.00 worth of Nutri-System food left untouched if anyone wants to try it. Its FREE, just help me pay the shipping to you...Let me know if interested.

Chatty, that sounds sort of like the Adkins diet, isn't it?

I do something similar. I buy a lot of boneless chicken breasts, they sell an excellent Amish brand here (no hormones, range fed) that are very lean, plump, and meaty. But I don't roast mine. I brush them with a little salt, pepper, tarragon (or whatever seasoning I like) and olive oil and grill them up on a George Foreman grill. Juicy and so tender when they come off. They make a great starter for a salad, lo-cal sandwich, etc. or are great warm with some veggies. Carbs are a problem for me though...I so love pasta and baked potatoes.

No the Nutri-System plan isn't like the Atkins diet, they give you plenty of pasta dishes but its low carb the way they prepare it. There food is low salt and made up on the low glycemic plan. Its extremely convenient if you cook for one or hate to cook, its all microwaveable and needs no freezing so can be carried easily along wherever you go. Its good, I'm just too darn fussy...

Oh Chatty...lol....I think my question was confusing I know what the Nutri-System is...it's blasted all over the TV.

But I wondered if there was a specific diet like Adkins you were following? I'm like you...I really don't like pre-prepared food. I was born, bred, and raised in a family loaded with good cooks. I cook a lot of my own meals from scratch, even as a single. I just prefer the taste of my own cooking/homemade food.

Yes Keyholes, there is a specific plan I follow, its my own. Not a diet either just a sensible way of eating and I am never hungry. I have never lost weight easier or quicker.

EXAMPLE: a days eating......

B= Tea w/ sugar free vanilla cream
Egg beater omelet with onion, mushroom, green
pepper, any veges you have available, add, and some cheese.
Slice of toast w/Promise and fresh tomatoes...

(OR) Tea, and oatmeal with 4 kind of fresh berries.

L= Usually tuna salad on heaps of shredded lettuce (OR) bar-b-qued broiled chicken with oriental vegetables oin the side.

D= Ususlly a turkey burger steak broiled with tiny red potatoes, and vegetables like green beans
(OR) A savory chicken or vegetable soup with brown rice or rice noodles. Then eat the meat from the soup served with icy cold tomatoes and onions with parsley.

Any meats and vegetables are good.

SNACKS, if you are hungry for something...I keep Yoplait different flavor yogurts, 60 calories...(OR) Jello, sugar free chocolate pudding.

I drink sugaqr free pink lemonade, plain ice water, and diet A$W root beer.

I have lost about 50 pounds since May when the BWS gals were here. It has been pretty easy so far.

Hi Chatty

WOW!!!!!!!!!!! You've lost 50 lbs since May...holy moly, that is awesome! Your daily food sounds yummy....although I can't do the chicken since I'm allergic do it (and its one of the few foods I don't mind being allergic to...never liked it much anyway!).

Keep up the great work...you sound so disciplined (wish it was contagious...grin).

MamaRed, If I am able to and move back to Fox Lake or even Wauconda we can diet and hang and hang out together...Success rubs off! I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Wow Chatty I am impressed. I really do need to watch the diet a lot more. I have a few friends who swore by the Adkins diet and they lost a lot of weight. What you're doing sounds soooooo easy too!! I just would like to shed the 20 pounds or so that seemed to gather since I got put on hormone replacement last year. That's been the #1 side effect for me and I hate it!!!

Keyholes and chatty, I make a lot of boneless chicken breast. I cut them up for salads. Salad with chicken is one of our staples. I use all different kinds of spices, suaces, oils and vinegars to flavor them. One of my favorites is marinating them in a balsamic vinigrette (sp?) salad dressing. Then it takes so good in the salad too.

chatty, we also keep the chocolate sugar free puddings in the house. Love those things.

Oh yeah Chatty...so when ya moving (grin)? I am (finally) learning to hang out with those I want to emulate rather than those who make me feel "safe"....grin!

Mama, great point. You are one wise woman. Too bad all of us can't hang out together.

Thank you Dotsie...I appreciate the kind words! And wouldn't it be wunnerful to hang out together...wow, how powerful would that be!