Daughter's Divorce

Hello friends...I haven't posted a word about this (that I remember) but my daughter's divorce is final on Monday, May 5th. After 8 years of marriage to an unbelievably controlling, angry man she moved out over a year ago with my two sweet grandkids. During that year she tried marital counseling. The counselor got so fed up with him that she refused to see him again and referred him to a therapist that dealt with anger management. Tracey had a very sad, tense year. Three months ago she met a man who is completely the opposite of what she had. He is an unusual prize...37, never married (almost once but has never found the right woman), loves the kids and loves her and SHOWS her that each day. In her marriage she never once even got a birthday card or an acknowledgement on special days or holidays....the list goes on and on. I'm proud of her that she finally said "enough." Now her special man has to reassure her constantly. The marriage took quite a toll on what is a genuine, loving young woman that only wanted a happy home life. Anyway, it's completely over on Monday and I'm relieved, even though we had hoped for the best. By the way, the new man came as a present from my husband...they've worked together for 4 years! Just wanted to share and finally relax and say "ahhhhhhh."

Aaaaah right with you Lady Jane.
How wonderful that your daughter has found such a "gem". Hopefully she will be happy now forever and a day. And that's what makes us Mother's happy, right? No matter how old our children get, our happiness is entiwined with our children's happiness.

I will pray for your daughters continued happiness and freedom from pain and sorrow. Now you know if the father approves of this man he must be a good one. I am happy for her, her children and you, her mom...

This is cause for celebration! Good for her, LJ. I wish her and the rest of the family a long, healthy, happy life.

I love hearing good news like this! WUHOO!

Thanks, friends. Chatty, it's my husband who approves highly of this young man while her father doesn't really like him at all, says he's "not very genuine." He was hoping for the marriage to work....of course, he's back in the pastorate now (another whole "very fine whine" of mine) and feels he can judge anyone anywhere. Ughhhh!! Who cares? As long as she's happy and taken care of properly, I don't care! For us, it's a real relief and true celebration for sure!

Hate to be a naysayer, but her father may be right. My ex said everything I wanted to hear before we were married, but was totally not genuine. As soon as we married, he changed. It turns out that he believes that everything anyone says really means something else. In other words, I should have known that everything he said to me was a lie! (He told me this after I left him.)

Been there and done that BreathingAgain (AND WELCOME!!) Your jerk sounds like a real assho//. I know mine was and a liar to boot. Said whatever he needed to to fool people. I hope you kicked this guy to the curb with the rest of the trash. Took me awhile to get rid of mine but I did and never looked back...

I hope your daughter takes a very long break and takes time to heal...going into another relationship so soon doesn't give her time to deal with all the baggage she's carrying with her from mistake #1. I speak from experience. I hope she'll take time to enjoy her children, which is the most important thing...continue to get some counseling to find out why she stayed with a controller and then after a couple of years, step back into the dating scene.
Of course, it's her decision whatever she wants to do...but, the more solid she is within her own self, the less assurance she'll need from someone else and she won't give another man that kind of power over her again...and if she does see that she'll be strong enough to tell them to hit the road.
Glad the divorce is over ... that cannot have been easy for her or her family.
Give her our love...

ladyjane, where are you?

I'm here, Dotsie. It's 3:50 A.M. and I'm at work. I had some time to do a little catch up here finally. I usually check in here and there but miss the days when I could talk for hours here. But I'm lurking usually in the morning before I go to bed! And my daughter is doing very well and is much happier and content....so are the grandkids!

Good to hear things are going better for your daughter and grandchildren...keep the faith!

Good news always makes my day brighter.

Especially when it has ato do with our kids.

I keep telling my son, "when you're 80 and I'm 100, you'll still be my baby, and I'll still worry about you...

So true, Chatty. As A Mom, you never get to forget them....their well being is still in your mind all the time.

Amen. Now with two permanently away from home, I can totally relate to that comment.

The funny thing Lady and Dotsie, the other night my son whose own son is now 17, was saying, "Ma, I try to tell him I am not being noisy when insisting I know where he is going and with who. I am just being a caring parent." Whalla! Finally he understood what I have been saying all these years, and still say even today...

Yeah, Chatty, ain't it grand when the light bulb goes on in our adult children? They finally get some of the things we always told them. My daughter still apologizes at times for things said or done when she was a teenager and she's 33 now! I feel blessed because I know I did something right in raising that girl!

chatty, and how many years did it take for you to hear that? That's great, andmust give you tremendous satisfaction. Raiing teens these days can be a real challenge.

LJ, have you heard from Edelweiss? Anyone seen Louisa?

No, not a work from EW. I was also thinking just yesterday ~ where is Louisa?