Etiquette Question

What is the proper way to acknowledge a wedding anniversary after losing a spouse? Tomorrow would have been my SIL 25th wedding anniversary - she lost her husband in October. My MIL suggested that we tak her out to dinner - I think that is totally inappropriate. I think it would be OK for MIL to ask if SIL would like to go for a quiet dinner (just the 2 of them) but not include the extended family.

Your advice will help a lot. I certainly want SIL to know that we are thinking of her - but don't want to do the wrong thing.

I don't know the answer, but what if you asked her if she'd like some company tomorrow, leaving it open-ended. If she's agreeable, maybe you could ask her if she'd like to come to your house, meet for dinner, or whatever she wants to do. She may want to be alone.

I would be afraid a dinner with the SIL and MIL wouldc turn somber where maybe the three of you would be better. I would definitely ask her first how she would feel about having dinner out with the family? In this instance what would probably occur if anything would be pleasant memories being mentioned of the past which if anything is cleansing to the soul.

I don't know what you all decided to do , but people react differently to these special dates especially so early. I agree that the best thing would have been to leave it up to her. She may well have wanted to just be alone. That way if we feel like crying then we cry.