two away

This week is giving me a peek at next year.

Our daughter is away for the week so we have only our youngest at home. It's very quiet. The phone is ringing less and the girls aren't in and out.

I can't imagine how still this place will be with all of them gone next year.

I used to sometimes think the quiet was spooky. Now I love it. We were actually able to remove an extra phone line after my kids both left for college.

Jackie, my daughter was away last week and there were no calls form her boyfriend. She has a special ring toneon our phone for when he calls. Many times the phone rang and I thought I heard that tone. It was crazy. You must understand he often calls the house ten times a day. No lie. Ross and I look at caller ID and shake our heads.

Isn't it interesting how we adapt to our changing environment?

I've used the "quietness" of my days to write and expand my ministry. I still miss my sons, but I keep busy as always, maybe more than ever! And I thought I'd be slowing down a bit, yeah right !

My two girls are 18 and 21, both about to go do their own thing. The youngest before the oldest! She leaves in June for boot camp for the Air Natl Guard. I hear it's not just their presence thats missed but like you said the quietness and lack of "busy-ness" that will seem odd. I'm trying to mentally prepare for the change.

It's really hard adjusting to not having kids around. I've replaced all the activity my two daughters generated with four 4-legged kids. I love the company they provide, but most of the time I long for the piles of laundry, ringing phone and the constant chit-chat of having the girls home. On the upside, my husband and I have tons of time to do the things we want to do, like taking day trips, playing golf and being able to have a lengthy conversation without interruption!

I'm not sure if it's harder, when the first one leaves home. My oldest is in college, second one is out, third one still home, but hardly, cause he studies and works. At least for now he comes home for lunch and supper.

I'm not sure if I can say I was "getting ready" in my mind for this. Boys usually are not home as much as girls.
But I still miss them and long to see them and be able to help, etc.

I just try not to let it get me down.

I agree, I got a lab last July (I've probably mentioned him to many times already, in the pets section!) and sometimes I think my girls think I like him better than them (sometimes I do! ha ha!) I'm going to try to keep busy and keep friends and new interests going. Maybe I'll learn to enjoy it a little.

Downdog - don't you pay any mind to your girls thinking you like your Lab more than them. That big puppy is going to be there for you when your girls get too busy in their own lives and should appreciate the company he/she is providing you. I couldn't survive a day without my precious pups and I talk to both of my girls several times a week on the phone.

BTW - I'll go read the Pets board to find out what sex and it's name.

Are you into Yoga? Your name is the reason I'm asking.

She's either into yoga or is trying to train her new baby.

My kids both insist we never spoiled them as much as we spoil the cat we acquired once we becasme empty nesters.

I suspect they may be right!

Been gone on a trip with daughter. Missed the lab terribly! I chose downdog as a reference to yoga, but had to laugh, didn't think of it as a reference to my dog! Fitting I guess, since I am trying to teach him enough obedience to be a therapy dog.

Downdog, where were you two? Traveling for fun I hope...

Vancouver, BC. A trip she picked for her senior year with her mom. She graduates highschool in May and is off to boot camp with Air Natl Guard in June then tech school then college... so you can see we wanted to enjoy some time together. Had a great time, we had great weather and fun.

downdog --- Nine years ago this June we welcomed a puppy to our family. I distinctly remember what I told my two girls, "When you two go off to college and leave me, I'll still have my puppy-dog to love me." In the fall, my older daughter will be going to college in Ohio. It's a cliche (but oh so true!)-- "Where did the time go?"

Thank God our pups never want to leave us and usually don't until they have no choice. They are the most loyal of all Gods creatures and their love has no boundaries.

I do hope you don't mind me butting in here...I just knew I was going to find loads of interesting discussions on this site - and lo and behold - I have!

In my case it wasn't my son who left the nest - but me.... I was offered a promotion which entailed moving to the other end of the country (300 miles - well the UK is tiny). My son had the opportunity of going with me, and some long, looooong discussions followed on -
Should I accept the move?
Should he stay or not?.
What about the future?
The decisions to be made were seemingly 'endless'. But in the end he decided that he would be quite able to cope on his own...though to me it seemed that he still hadn't mastered the art of 'how clothes hangers worked'..... .
To ensure that he would not be in 'unsavoury or unsafe' surroundings it was decided to give him enough for a deposit on a home of his own. He had a good job, so could afford the responsibility of a mortgage.
We never looked back, that promotion lead to a varied and interesting career for me, and my son is now the proud owner of a World Wide DJ agency that involves him travelling world wide, a dance music consultancy and a large resaurant and grill which holds regular 'disco club nights'.

The reason I mention this is simply that 'flying the nest' has been around ever since the times of Cain and Abel - and even there one made good, the other didn't..... but they were 'trusted' to make their own decisions and learn by their mistakes, when and if they made any.

My son is now not only that, but he is my best friend - it's him I turn to for advice or that inimitable 'shoulder to rest my head on' when needs must. You will be the same - you'll see.

And the 'quiet' - oh that is really GREAT. I can really enjoy that now I have the time to!

europa

No kidding, seems we pour so much of ourselves into our family for 18+ years and then they move on. I love my parents dearly, but my "immediate" family is my husband and my two girls. It's hard to think that's how they're going to feel someday.

The girls actually get a little mad at me for treating the dog like I do. They say he doesn't realize he's a dog anymore! Hey, it sure keeps my less lonely and if the therapy dog plans work out it'll keep me busy as well.

downdog, I have been thinking a lot lately about your comment. the time will come when my children will have families of their own and we will play second fiddle. Until then, it's full steam ahead!

I have been second fiddle to my sons family now for years and I am not thrilled by the idea. Once I called to say I was coming over to visit and my son said "mom we have friends over now and rather you wouldn't stop by." I always call before going there since then as he said " we have separate lives now mom." He was being sweet and honest but I have to tell you it cut to the quick, I was use to being everything to him and then I was a visitor. Granted a very special visiter to him but a visitor just the same in his busy life. Its not the best feeling either.
Sometimes I actually feel jealous in a way of my DIL and I love her dearly, that may sound sick but it isn't that kind of jealousy. I guess I just miss him not always being around me and feel kind of empty to not be a part of his everyday life.

Wow..., maybe not a bad idea to get this into my head now, it looks like it will be a reality. Not dwell on it, but prepare mentally and emotionally. Concentrate on those other interests and friends that have been somewhat neglected over the years. And the confidence, thats another thing that seems to wither. Seems only a few years ago I was so headstrong and didn't care so much what everyone thought of me, acquiring some gentleness is good but I think I've gone overboard. Regardless I know it will hit me hard.