preparing for...

I have beeen preparing for my empty nest for several years. I T H I N K it will be empty in late August unless one of my two seniors decides to stick close to home.

Launching this site and NABBW has become my second passion. My first is my family.

I'm prayerful these outlets will allow my nest to feel less empty when it's silent in this household. Something it hasn't been in over 20 years!

Dotsie,

It sounds like you have more than enough to keep you busy once your nest is empty. I really think that's the key to adjusting. I was working full time teaching when my son left for college, and it was nice to come home to a quiet house. I missed him and his sister a lot, but it was time to move on to another phase of my life. Letting go is the hardest thing I mother can do.

I have found it to be the case of "once a mother, always a mother!" My son and my dear DIL had an argument a couple nights ago and my son showed up on my doorstep saying, "can I borrow the sofa tonight?" We talked for hours and the next morning we had breakfast together and it felt good but he had to go home and face the music later that day. All is well with them...He said, "I'm staying here tonight because I don't want her to accuse me or think I was out fooling around." He was angry but not stupid. I agree with susieq, it isn't easy but is liberating.

Dotsie, I think you will do fine since you have alot of interesting things to keep you busy. I agree with Chatty about "once a mother, always a mother."
They may be gone physically, and never gone from our hearts and minds; we just go on to "mother" a little differently. It will all work out : )

I agree. Once a mother, always a mother. I'm still the first one my kids turn to when they have problems they need to air, and I wouldn't have it any other way. They may be out of my house, but they'll never be out of my heart.

I keep hearing stories about how the nest empties, but often fills back up again.

One step at a time...

Dotsie,
I know how the kids fill them back up the empty nest. The bring there dogs by you house to babysit four days a week . That is what my daughter did , but of course I don't mind after all I lost my yorkie last year and it has been healing to have her here .

Sometimes they bring the grandkids for you to babysit . I like the yorkie the best . Ha!

A friend of mine wrote a hilarious piece about the pets her children left behind. I wish I still had a copy. Next time I see her, I'll get one if she still has it and post it here.

We solved the problem of the kids coming back to the nest by moving out of the townhouse we lived in to a 2 bedroom apartment. Then we made one bedroom into a den and gave away their bedroom furniture.

Just kidding. Laura was settled in NY, Ed was planning on heading West and my husband's prognosis was still iffy. So we opted for a smaller place that I could stay in by myself if I had to. We love it when the kids come to visit, but after a while it gets crowded. And they get tired of sleeping on our fouton or the living room sofa.

my nest has been empty several times but the youngest keeps moving back! i love having him home even though my downstairs is piled with the debris of his moving in and out of several apartments.

i don't really worry about empty nest anyway, because my oldest, with his wife and daughter live less than 2 miles away and the younger son plans to stay close by when he does move out again. as it looks now, they will both be working the farm with us and adding a couple of trucks to the mix for added income.

oldest son never wanted to travel with me but younger son has been to Wash. DC, the west coast and to Finland with me so i am satisfied that his wish to stay near home is a decision made with full knowledge of the fact that the world is big and wide with lots of options and he still wants to be in small town usa.

flipper, you are blessed.

What type of farming do you do?

Dotsie, we farm row crops such as wheat, barley, soybeans etc. and beef cattle. We had a dairy herd until about 2 years ago. I had no trouble saying goodbye to them although dh milked one last cow for about 6 months after the rest were gone. Now he can't figure out when he had time to milk!

Our oldest son farms with us, building his own acres and hoping to add numbers to his beef herd. He also owns a semi that he hires out with. Our younger son has decided that his passion is also in trucking and is in big demand with truck owners in the area (these farm boys learn early how to drive a truck). He plans to run his own truck asap, too.

Yes, I am very blessed with these 2 wonderful young men. We live near a river and sometimes in the summer, I will go down there and just sit and watch the water flow by - it calms me. One evening when we had all been working a field on the other side of the river valley, I stopped there on my way home to sit a while. After dark, the boys were on their way home and after they both drove by me, they both stopped, backed up to where I was parked and pulled in on either side of me just to see that I was okay. I felt so protected and loved!

We have all had many demons to fight since their sister died in 1994 but we are sticking together and finding our peace with each other and the world without her.

Guess my reply to your simple question has mushroomed. I truly am blessed.

Flipper, your life sounds so peaceful. Sitting by the river in your own back yard...wow!

I am glad you and your family continues to wrok through the death of your daughter. Have you corresponded with Searcher and lionspaw? They too have lost children. I admore you for your strength to carry on.

Having an empty nest definitely can be liberating. It's given my husband and me more time together that we can spend one on one. We can talk about subjects that interest us, along with giving each other quality time.

It's brought my husband and me closer together.

But, has anyone ever found the opposite to be true? Did an empty nest make you realize you no longer had anything in common with your husband and you didn't want to spend all the extra time with him?