Natalie Caine´s Empty Nest Support

I just found her site thru our NABBW site. I checked it out briefly..and found her site to be so filled with warmth and understanding (because she is going thru it herself) and lots and lots of practical ideas that are actually doable..not off the charts, so to speak. I just wanted to recommend her to anyone who is having a tough time during this season of holidays and more holidays and even more holidays. It IS a time of magic..but it CAN be painful at times too..if you´ve been a mom for 40 yrs and now..well, they really ARE gone. Yes, I have grandchildren..but at the moment their mom..my daughter, is angry with me..so we have no contact. I am mother of 5...adult children.

This empty nest business affects me in ways that I am not always prepared for..and it spills into parts of my life that I never thought it would. And Natalie..well, she "sees" and "feels" and puts into words thoughts that I have..but haven´t been able to put together..if that makes any sense??

Natalie´s site is really soothing and helpful.. She speaks to your heart of hearts..she really does.

humlan, thanks for taking advantage of what she has to offer. Hopefully you've seen all her articles at www.nabbw.com.

When I launched the NABBW, she was the only woman addressing what I was going through. I also appreciate her because she's going through it too, as you mentioned.

I also find Natalie's comments to be supportive and to resonate. Most of us were not prepared for either 1) having our nests empty, or 2) having them fill up again, either literally with children moving back home, or figuratively with the many needs our kids still have.

I always said my home had a revolving door. My son first left to enter the Marines then was given a medical discharge due to his very bad knee. Then he moved in with a girl and came home again when they broke up a year later. He got married and nearly 20 years later seperated BUT didn't come home this time because the ex is still here so he got a place with two other guys. I just figure as long as I have a roof over my head my sons will have a place with me if they want it. I am forever taking in strays, animals, and people as well.

DrSuz, welcome. Many boomers are also welcoming their parents into their nests!

chatty, though it would be fun for you to have your son home at this time in his life, and I'm sure he'd probably enjoy being cared for, it's probably best that he's with his friends.

You are probably right Dotsie and I honestly doubt at this stage in is life he would move back home, unless he or I were ill and needed help. His ex BIL to be and his stepson are the best two guys he could possibly be sharing a home with. They get along really well and have similar interests, Harleys, their bike club and food!!!

Any thoughts people want to share on how to handle special days like the upcoming Mother's Day when you are an empty nester?

Even though I know my daughter will call and my son will most likely forget to call, I still have a hard time with this day...

My husband always wants to take me out to a Mother's Day brunch, but even that can be tough. Especially if you go to a place where there are a lot of big family groups.

Hi humlan,

Yes, I agree about Natalie. So happy she is one of our contributing experts.

Anne

Welcome, DrSuz,

I have been a fan of your blog, so it's a real treat to see you have joined us here. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, DrSuz writes the fabulous Parenting 20-Somethings Blog

And as my youngest is still in his 20s for one more year, I am a fan.

Check it out!

Anne

Welcome DrSuz to our cyber family. Read your blog, very interesting and informative.

Anne, I too hate to eat out on Mothers Day. I sent my mother some sweet treats that will arrive the day before, she is 3000 miles away from me.

I haven't seen one son for going on 16 years so thats always amplified at this time. I just have to wait to see whether my eldest son shows up or calls or whatever he may do now that he has a new girlfriend. I call Mothers Day a crap shot, Vegas terminology! This is my first year in over a dozen with Reeta and Rosee gone that I may be completely alone.

With my honey gone, and both sons at opposite ends of the country, I'll be alone, too. My boys usually call me, or I call my daughters-in-law to thank them for being such great mothers to my grandchildren. I don't think I've ever gone out to eat on Mother's Day, or any other holiday for that matter - too many people.

Charleen, I addressed this on another thread..but my son's new girlfriend is keeping him away from me this year...I thought I liked her...but now I'm not so sure...I think she may be testing him...I never make a big deal about Holidays..the kids are free to do whatever and be wherever they want to be(although I am thrilled when they are home )...but Mother's Day...I like them with me...I don't think it's too much to ask for one day out of the whole year...

Oh boy, I remember those disappointed feelings when my sons little by little went their own ways. It was hard and it hurt. But believe me, the best way to keep them is not to be clingy. You are doing the right thing by not showing your hurt.
Once your son marries, you will see...he'll come around again,...alot.
Still, enjoy your mother's day. Do something special for yourself.:-)

Edelweiss, I feel so guilty feeling upset like this...but it's Mother's Day for goodness sake..she could have chosen any weekend..I feel like she is putting him to the test..."Your Mother or Me"...it's hurtful because he works so hard that I rarely see him anyway...he's a good boy...calls me a couple of times a week...and I want to love this girl...I'm just so sad this week...:(

I hope that you are feeling better now, girl? Sometimes things just get to be too much..

sending hugs your way..

Feeling better Humlan and have forgotten the hurt...I just needed to vent..as usual you girls were here to listen ...

Thanks so much for asking...xoxox

Avalon Blondie, unfortunately we can't pick the mates or friends for our kids. MY sons new friend is certainly not someone I'd have picked. Thank Gode she isn't into visiting or I'd probably have bitten my tongue off by now... Hows your situation going these days?