Dotsie dear..you asked..

Posted by: humlan

Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 09/06/08 06:27 PM

You asked me about my son who left for the US about 1 and half weeks ago...that was very kind of you smile

He is studying in the state of Penn. He is taking general courses at this time..just to get the feel of the place. He particularly enjoys scuba diving which may mean a trip to the Kamen (spelling?) Islands in the spring..if we can put the money together for this. I talked to him this afternoon and he even said that he will do without a laptop to make this trip possible!!! I have to laugh how things change..while living here with us, he could never do without a computer and it always had to be the top of the line (on mom´s meagre salary as a preschool teacher). And I was desperate and frustrated. NOW he doesn´t want one..and I WANT HIM TO HAVE ONE. So we can keep in touch on Skype..with webcam and all.

He is enjoying himself very much..and worrying about whether he should get serious with this very cute girl he has been talking to of late..because his plans are to come home to Sweden after the school year is over. Sooo..I guess everything is as it should be. grin

I am missing him so much..but I am not so acutely devestated as I was last week-end.I am only very devestated. It helps to know that he is happy and doing ok. In our case, he has his big sister and her family near him..so this certainly helps me not to worry so much. She is also a doctor!!!

Dotsie..I think that everything is sooo new to him right now that he hasn´t thought of any traveling..but I will certainly let you know if he starts wanting to do this. Thank you so much for your offer!!! You are a dear!!! smile AND thanks for asking cool
Posted by: jawjaw

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 09/06/08 08:19 PM

Humlan, thank you for sharing you and your son's journey through all of this. How happy he sounds. And it seems as though you've helped him to realize that the world truly is his oyster. Good for you!

I know how hard it can be having them away from you...both of mine are gone now and I doubt them living back home will ever be an option again. They are both so happy and are thriving. I know how my own heart swells from this, so I can just imagine yours does as well.

Please keep us posted on his life when you want to share. I love hearing about him and think you are a terrific mom! Now...send me the laptop. Whattttt?

Okay, just joshn' with you hun....
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 09/17/08 03:41 PM

I'm just reading this. Sorry aobut that.

Wow, PA is very near MD. I"m glad he's doing well and has a sister nearby. Ah, the romances of these young kids. I'm sure she's hleping with his adjustment.

I'm guessing he has a computer lab at this school that allows him all the computer access he needs at this time.

Have you heard if he's gotten around to other parts of the state or other states? I hope he gets to do a little traveling while he's here. He's so close to NY. It would be great for him to spend a couple days here.

Is it for certain that he's only here for one year?

Great diving in the Cayman's. We were once there and swam with the stingrays. It was exhilirating.

Hope you are even less devastated this week.

I can relate, however my son is only a few hours away. I'm so thankful for cell phones. They make the distance so much shorter. We talk and text occasionally and it really makes me feel connected. I love hearing about his days while he's out and about.
Posted by: keyholes

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 09/26/08 02:03 AM

Humlan, I know you'll get through this!! I had 4 kids grow up, go to college or jobs, and move far away. Well, not quite as far as your son but far enough for me. I'm in Ohio and have them in Pennsylvania, Nevada, Michigan, and one not too far from me (about 60 mi west). It's so hard!! I miss my gals but know they're on their own lives and paths now. But...the upside of that is, mom has more reason to go road-tripping wink
Posted by: humlan

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 09/28/08 07:40 PM

Thanks guys..I guess that I am doing better..I am sort of slowly realizing there is alot to this having more time to do what I want to do..and more time for my partner,too. I can still listen to his music..the songs he recorded himself and the music he has on his computer..and then I can cry buckets..but I know in my heart of hearts that this is best for both of us.

I asked him the other day what made him decide to study in the US..on the spurr of the moment. And he answered..it was all of these things and none of them: he was afraid of staying in Sweden and not finding a job..and then just sitting at home..he wanted to get out on his own..do his own thing..and start leading his own life..he wanted to have new experiences and see new places..he didn´t want people telling him what to do or how he should think..etc etc.

This all makes sense to me..and somehow I knew that this was what is was all about. He has a big brother and sister living in Sweden here..and his sister has 3 kids..and she´s a single mom. I think he felt like a spider in a net..not in a bad way..but anyway..he needed to BREAK FREE..like that GREAT SONG by Queen goes..I WANT TO BREAK FREE..I absolutley LOVE that song..and so does he.. I broke free many years ago..and now he is doing the same thing.

But I miss him..who am I kidding..I miss him so much!!! cry And the lump in my throat grows..AGAIN!!! But I DO understand!!! smile
Posted by: Mama Red

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 09/29/08 03:51 PM

Oh Humlan

It is so great that you have raised a son who knows he has his mom's support and loving nature. What a gift you've given him AND, blast it, it doesn't mean it makes it easy to deal with him being gone, does it?

Congrats to you for looking at both sides of the situation...the gifts and the tears. You're an inspiration!
Posted by: keyholes

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 09/29/08 08:27 PM

Humlan, it's such an adjustment when they leave! You really go through adapting to new circumstances and a changing relationship when the nest empties. I think I moped forever after each one of my kids left. Let yourself go through this and give yourself the time to adapt and let the relationship w/your son change. No harm in crying...I think it's sometimes the best medicine smile
Posted by: humlan

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 09/30/08 09:16 PM

Thank you MamaRed and Keyholes..I am having a bad missing him evening..listening to Halleluja by Jeff Buckley..over and over again..as he did the last nite he was at home..packing and remembering and crying..and me, with him. So..I got it bad right now. I called him..but he wasn´t there..such is life..I know. Another time..another place..and another relationship..as you say. I am so grateful for everything..so very grateful.

He´s my last out the door..of 5 kids..so I guess it I feel it a bit more. frown

But tomorrow is another day.. Halleluja!!! wink
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 10/02/08 02:24 PM

How's it going humlan? I recall Mom when all five of us were gone. She went through a tough time as well.

Any news on your son or your SIL?
Posted by: humlan

Re: Dotsie dear..you asked.. - 10/02/08 02:56 PM

No news from my son..which is probably good news..I should think.

I wrote a little about my SIL on the Check-in today thread. Things are not too good there right now..he´s also found new lumps..but all this could just turn out well anyway..I know. Hoping and coping in my own way, I guess.

Thank you for asking. smile