Nest emptying again

The past few weeks have been full of activity at our home. We just finished a nice dinner of homemade stuffed shells, yum! We were all here, plus two of the guys who were here watching football all afternoon, also stuck around for dinner. Now they are all taking showers and heading out for the evening. It's 8:00 and I'm ready to settle in. My how the years change things.

Tomorrow the nest begins to empty again. Ouch! Our youngest heads back to school in the afternoon. Big sigh. Then our daughter leaves the following week. Another big sigh...but she's close enough that at least I get to see her fairly often.

Anyone else have kids visiting from college?

No, not me, but I have empathy for you. What I really want to know is who made the stuffed shells, and what is the recipe?

No college kids, but we did have the boys [26 & 28] along with 1 fiance' and 1 Serious girl firend running in and out from Thanksgiving -New Year's. They only live 70 miles away in the same town they went to college in. So, I run in and out at their houses too, not as much though. Plus I usually arrive bearing Goodies, LOL. I do hear and feel your sigh though, our oldest went on an Exchange Program in college (6mo) & later lived across country from us & we only saw him once a year at Christmas. He moved back last Spring after 4 years. I remember that Gosh Awful silence. It was deafening, so quiet you wondered if you could still hear. As often as we see our sons, as old as they are, I still have a brief moment of that Empty Nest sigh as soon as I loose sight of their tail lights. And I say a Little Prayer same one I've said since they started driving.
"Sigh" qball

Lynn, I made them and I'll put the recipe in the forums if you'd like. It's the kind of thing I used to make often when the kids were home, but rarely make any more.

QBall, I have a feeling I will feel the same when as my kids grow older. I absolutely love having the five of us together. It's not that it's always perfect because we do have our differences, but it reminds me of the good old days.

Yes, Dotsie, I would like that. Wow, I bet the kids love coming home to Mom's cooking. Like I said, I can't relate to empty nest, I can only imagine. The leaving has to feel like a pinch of loss each time.

A pinch of loss each time...that's a great way to say it. My daughter goes back for another semester tonight.

How ya doin' by now Dotsie?
I got loss-pinched tonight. Our 28 y/o son came by for a visit (had to be in the area on business). He came in had supper and was gone again with in just a couple hours. Before he left he said he was tired, LOL I wanted to tuck him in bed. I don't think seeing them leave will ever get completely easy.

Dotsie, there's nothing like the whole family together. But now as the years roll by, they'll just be mutliplied. Imagine....daughters and sons in law, little grandchildren running around. You have much in the next phase to look forward to!

QBall, thanks for sharing those feelings with me. I can imagine feeling the same way. But instead of us focusing on the loss, we have to focus on the fact that he chose to stop by and have supper with you. I love it.

I'm fine. Things are back to normal. I can switch gears easily. It also helps to hear from them by phone. I heard form our son and daughter each by phone yesterday. We also do occasional text messaging which makes the distance shorter.

LJ, out kids are 19, 20 and 22. I hope I have some time before the weddings and grandbabies. However, when the time comes, my heart will sing. That's for sure.

Oh, how I remember those days. A piece of your heart seems empty. It does get better, though. And, as life goes by faster (the older you get, the faster it goes), the time between visits seems to grow shorter.

My girls and their families have moved close to us, both within 15-20 minutes with good traffic. But, we don't get to see them as much as when life was slower. They are busy with their families (one has 3, the other 4, children). We can go weeks without seeing each other. We are only a phone call away though, or an email message away.

gimster, you are so blessed to have kids in the same town. That's awesome. Many boomers have family stretched all over the country. I'd love to see photos of all those grandkids.

Funny you should mention it... I didn't get my annual pic of the two groups this year.
hmmmm, I don't think the girls were expecting a call from me today, but...

Dotsie you are so right the focus should be on the positive. I do feel so very blessed that the boys live so close we can all be together within an hour if need be or want to. I enjoy our frequent visits even when brief. The boys will be here Wednesday, due to the wedding we're inheriting son's smallest big screen tv, plus storing some household things until our son & DIL2B's home purchase closes. Poor boys, little do they know Momma's got some more furniture moving in store for them too. LOL but, I'll feed 'em good. I'm at the point now the 'lonesomes' only last a few minutes after theyare gone. Then I'm fine with the peace and quiet again. WE do talk often and text some too + e-mail. So we are in contact more than just face to face visits.
Grimster, your family sounds so wonderful, with the girls so close and 7 grands WOW! What fun!

gimster, I didn't get a family photo this year either. I'm so bummed. Now I have to wait until we're all together at Easter.


QBall, you'll have to tell us more about the wedding. When is it?

Dotsie,
The wedding is 5/24/08. both families are very excited and get along so well. Her parents came for Thanksgiving & got to meet the last remaining gandparent on our side of the family. Tomorrow's the big day to go pickout bridesmaid/flower & mothers dresses. It's so wonderful to have another woman in the family, MIL is here some. But, day to day visits it's always been 3 men and me. LOL Now there's another girl in the nest.

That will be here before you know it.

Have fun picking out gowns. Do you have a style and color in mind for yourself?

One of my friend's daughter just get married. My friend wore this lovely navy, fairly fitted dress that was off both shoulders and had a little, navy ruffle around the neckline. Very classic. She wore her hair up. She looked gorgeous.

Looking forward to hearing about tomorrow.

I know the feeling-each time one comes and leaves again, it's a loss. But I try to focus on the purpose of it. It's still hard to see him go.

I have two of my three sons at home. The oldest, away in school, stopped by about a week or so ago. He was on his way to a business meeting taking place about an hour from home, so he stopped by for 10 minutes. He was unable to come home for Christmas, so I cherished those few minutes!

Didn't get home for Christmas? That must have been hard. I know it happens all the time, but I can't imagine it at this stage of my life.

Glad you got to see him when he was in the area...

I have a 16-yr old I'd be glad to share with anyone missing their child right now! Honest, you can have him... that is if you can get him out of bed to go with you. Aaaarrrgggh!

Haha. Kathy. Been there....and don't want to go back for anything in the world.
Fast forward...Now that horrible stubborn teenager is a top manager (29 years old) in the largest industrial real-estate company in Germany. He gets up,...rather he leaps out of bed at 6:00 AM. and usually goes to bed around 9PM. If you had asked me then; I would have bet my life that nothing could ever drag him out of the feathers.
The only way I got him out of bed in the morning was to sprinkle ice cold water over his face. Brutal…but it worked…heh heh.

Kathy, my daughter is home from college this week and I know what you're talking about. They stay up all night and sleep all day. I can't stand it. I am giving her a little break since she had three all nighters last week due to midterms and babysitting this weekend. I swear I never did that as a kid. Did you sleep in the way kids do today?

Doesn't excessive sleep kill brain cells?
Run that by her, Dotsie.

I think sleeping in when possible is almost universal with teenagers and young adults. They tend to drive hard through the week and have late nights but when they crash, they truly need their sleep...a whole lot more than we require now. I remember spending Saturday sleeping until 1 pm when in highschool.

Rick and June, I have an 18 yr old for sale..any takers??? And at the same time, I know that I am going to miss him like heck when he finally makes the move! But he drives me crazy...some days, he and his friends are still awake at their computers in the kitchen when I go to work in the morning!!! And he has school work to do and he´s finding it difficult and I don´t want the worry anymore..he´s my 5th. BUT I don´t want to loose it/him either!!! Right???

I still catch up on my own sleep at the week-ends and sleep in until 1pm or 2pm..being a night person and living in Sweden where the winters are dark and cold even during the "daytime". So there we are in sync..most of the time.

But I would like to make love in the middle of the afternoon sometimes, for example..or when we just plain feel like it. But that´s out of the question..and I am 60 allready!!!

I hear you and I feel you...

humlan, I hope you don't mind that I'm laughing at your son and his friends awake at their computers when you go to work in the morning. Doesn't that drive you nuts? It reminds me of my kids coming in at 2:00 and watching a movie. What are they thinking?

LOL You all are crackin' me up! My oldest 29 can sleep till 2-3PM if he's not got work that day. The younger one is usually up by 9 on his off days. YES it drives me crazy, but i used to drag in a 3-4AM, eat, crash and get up around noon. So, what can I say? One good thing about the empty nest is you don't know what time the hatchlings wake. Hannelore, You did the ice water thing too!!! LOVE IT! LOL
our oldest used to come home after a night on the town and I'd hear this soft, 'mom, Mom, mom, you awake?'....I'd get up and we'd make a snack, coffee, sit & talk till time to get up. When he spends the night here we still don't know when to go to bed.

qball, you are a better mom than I. Not much will get me up in the middle of the night. I so wish I was a night owl when they are all home, but I'm not. I'll try to watch something with them and consistently fall asleep. It's actually something I feel guilty about because my mom was a night owl and she sat up until all of us were in for the night. There were five of us. Dad always went to bed at 11:00 and Mom waited up.

But you know what? She also slept in too. I just thought of that. I was up walking at 6:20 this morning.

OK Ladies....I am having difficulty dealing with my impending empty nest. My son has been away at school for three years. When he left, I cried like a baby. He, my daughter and I had been on our own together for 10 years, and it was extremely hard. Obviously, I got used to it and like all of the above posts, it is a bit chaotic for me when he comes home for the summer or on break. Then I get used to having him around again and then he is gone again. This week, my daughter is on her senior trip to Florida. When I dropped her off at school and watched her walk away with her suitcase, I realized that in just a few short months she will be leaving for college as well. I started crying...actually my eyes fill just writing this. On top of this, I will be turning 50 in May which to my surprise is not coming as easily as I expected. This, in combination with this damn perimenopause has thrown me into some serious reflection and lots of what if's. Has anyone else experienced this? Any tips for this transitional time? I have not been feeling particularly cheerful these days.

I went thorugh this in anticipation of the empty nest. All three were in high school at the time and I felt a tremendous empty feeling inside. All I can say is begin preparing now. Be certain to spend quality time with her, and be sure to have something fun and exciting to occupy your time with in late August/early September. I recommend planning a trip. It will give you something positive to focus on.

Having the last leave is different than having the first one go because then there are none. I don't want to scare you, just sharing the truth. My youngest two went away the same time because they were always in the same grade. We went from having a house that rocked, to silence. Not kidding.

I think a lot has to do with our attitude. Remain focused on the positive. Look at it as a time to focus on what makes you happy. See it as a time of self-exploration rejuvination. Keep posting and I'll try to help you through it.

Oh dear hotflashgal, I understand very well. This may sound weird, but I will soon be experiencing an empty nest because my two year old grandchild will return to her parents after we have had her for a year.

I'm planning to delve into my work full time. Fill my days with reading, and painting. Things I just never could do while she was here. Although my heart is heavy because she’s leaving, I believe we will always have a special connection with one another, and for that I’m thankful.

Your children will be back, and it will be a wonderful homecoming each time...And before you know it, you have developed a new you. It's a cool feeling to think; what do I want to do now...and not what should I do now, or what makes my kids happy. You'll see, you won’t want to give up that feeling any more.

THANK YOU for your support ladies. I do have my relatively new business to work on and my husband and I have never been without children....never really had a honeymoon period (we were married 4 years ago) so it will be a good time to do some cultivating of my own. It is just so weird to think that after 20 years of taking care of children day after day, that I will have so much time to myself. As mothers I think we become so connected to that identity. It is ironic. When your children are small you so crave time to yourself, and now it is over in what seems to be in a blink of an eye. It is definitely bitter sweet. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Dotsie..believe it or not..I DON`T go nuts when everyone is at their computers and I`m off to work..I kinda smile to myself and wish I could be doing what they are doing..but I am older and don´t have the energy anymore..eventho I am a nightowl..but I need to sleep in..like your mom did, Dotsie! The way I look at it..you are only young once..without responsiblities..and you might as well enjoy it!

Love, Peace and Understanding!

Humlan, your wisdom never ceases to amaze me...And yes you are only young once.

humlan, I need to adopt your attitude. Thanks for the new perspective. I love hearing it and will try to live by it. Really - thanks!