He just "Snapped"

Hi all,
New to this site and glad to hear other voices like mine.
I had been begging my husband of 18yrs. for a divorce because of his extramarital activities, He said he would give me a divorce when he was ready. He had never laid a hand on me. Until last week. After a night of drinking he came home and threw me up against the wall and choked me, yelling about how he could bash my head in. And how I'd never get his house and his kids. I waited until he was asleep and went to the police. A really tough thing to do since he is one of them.
I now have an order of protection that says he can't come to the house. I thought he was mad before I had him arrested, I can't imagine how mad he is now.
I have 2 kids and they kinda understand that I did what I had to do but he's still their dad and our uncertain future scares the hell out of me. They know that I have put up with alot but he crossed the line when he put his hands on me. I couldn't live with myself if I did nothing. Just needed to share
Thanx
Copper

Be careful, copper.
And know of your women's shelters in your area. (Would the police know about these too??)

Most likely your hubby knows the process and that he can't violate the restraining order..

Hi, Copper. Glad you joined, but sorry to hear you have these problems. You're safe sharing here. Men violate restraining orders all the time. Don't the police have a safe system to handle one of their own? I know this problem is common in police forces around the world.

hi cooper i just posted back to you in the writters section on gratitude...just letting you know that when i posted that i didnt know you had posted heer, no worries about the last post i just infoming you of the order they are comming in.

he may be mad and i am sure it upset you and you may still be scared...

the order as you say and possibly fear might make him madder. On the other hand its a big indicater that you wont stand for this behaviour and offers you some protestion legally. On the other hand it might be the wake up call he needed and deserved thse conciquinces for his actions to stop this behaviour before it became a habit or damaged you emotionally or physically to any furtheir degree than the level and spectrium of emotions that you ar feeling.

i have had to take an order out in the past, it was a difficult process to go throw at the time and the future didnt look to bright...but it brought about a positive effect for my life in the long run.

Splitting up with a parner is always hard mentally and emotionally even physically (rember to eat and rest when you can) The added shock and presure of the recent outburst just adds to that weight of the situasion...good luck and god bless getting throw your days....everything changies and for you i hope it changies for the better.

celtic

Copper,
Glad you joined us. This is a wonderful site for comfort and reassurance.

You did the right thing. It's not easy but you will be glad when it's all over and you can breath with ease.

I grew up in a domestic violent home. No one deserves that kind of lifestyle.

Laurel

Police know the locations of shelters, which is sad since a lot of them are abusers. They protect their own too.

Can you just go ahead and file for a divorce? Especially since this happened? They, meaning abusers, always say the woman will never get the house, children, etc. It's part of the game to keep her in line. Don't fall for it. You have as many rights as he does.

The unknown can be scary but what is worse than being abused or living with a man who cheats on you? What about the example for your children? You did the right thing.

Copper, be certain to visit Dianne's site.

I am very proud of you for going to the police station. I bet it was the hardest thing you've ever done, especially since he's a policeman. Please be very careful and contiue to stay in touch with them if you need to. Do you have good neighbors you can get to in ahurry if you need to?

Copper, I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now. My husband has a violent temper also and alcohol brings it to a head. On our 2nd wedding anniversary last night, he drew back his fist and said he was going to punch me in the face if I didn't shut the f*** up.
I was about to have my daughter call a cab for me, but instead I went to bed and slept until morning when I went home with the resolve to seek legal counsel.

You don't deserve to be treated like you aren't important or like you don't matter. You certainly are important and your children need to see a mom who values herself enough to stand up and say I love you but draw the line at abuse.

My prayers are with you and your children.

Copper, I know from experience how difficult it is to write the words that admit your are being abused. But, I also know that many times, a woman will take this brave step and then, retreat. There is always shame involved...false shame but still shame. I hope you will come back and join us.