I am one of them

currently, living with a woman I used to be romantically involved with and she is an active alcoholic and verbal abuser. Some of you have seen me around the forums as I try and create parts of my Dream, to become totally self-supporting so as not to EVER rely upon another person financially again. A year ago I had good credit that I worked very hard to get back, and now becasue I had to rely upon a couple of them to aet, for godsakes and live, that is shot and creditors call me daily.

I am deaf and have a myriad of mental disabilties (panic attacks, chronic depression and manic-depression) which, believe it or not, with medication and therapy, in spite of the conditions I am living in, I remain hopeful and Know what is Right and Real and that my feelings of Optimism are intact. I Love life.

I have been clean and sober 15 years on May 16 of this year I have survived the loss of a child domestic abuse, homeslessness, two homes burned down, cancer, loss of my hearing, alcoholism, mental illness,and the loss of my abiltiy to be gainfully employed.

I am doing my darndest to make this different for myself. I just found out that the SSDI that I applied for 3 years ago won't be decided upon (maybe) until August (!!), and I thought I would hear anyday now.

I will be applying for low cost housing in Seattle, washington soon and am trying to develop some sort of plan to leave where I am , but without an income, I am stuck here.

The JOY of my life is my art. It is my God-given talent and my passion and with the creation of this "suddenly coincidental" Inspiration to create GETTING REAL, my graphic "cartoon"....I intend to use it as a vehicle, my Voice to share and help other women like myself and to Empower other little girls as well.

My Dream is to publish a book and /or online presence with this series as well as other female role models into paper dolls with mini-story lines that tells about them overcoming Real obstacles and coming out stronger for it!

I am Very excited about this. I want to get this and my Getting Real images and stories Licensced/published but have few resources right now.

My "world" consist of being online at the moment...so I chronicle my progress (as much as I can Safely , on my blog (Daily Life of an Artist)- www.designergrl.wordpress.com

plus I will keep adding scenes and stories to my new Getting Real website:

http://www.freewebs.com/gettingreal/

As a Survivor of Domestic violence etc.. I don't watch shows about it, but I Love seeing when a woman perseveres ! I feel like I have just watched Rocky!!

Anyway, thank you for reading here if you've stayed this long. My heart and prayers goes out to all women in situations like mine and together we Will Survive !!

**** On my GETTING REAL site I have set up a PAYPAL "Angel Donation" button for anyone who can contribute to help me further the dream I have mentioned above, as well as help me to leave the situation I am in. I have had to close down any bank accounts I have had so this is the only place I have to keep any funds to save.

***One more thing, ladies....I did NOT tell all of you these details for any kind of sympathy. I am a very proud woman, and On my best days, I realize that *I* am my own Role model. My dreams are out there in the Universe manifesting them selves for my Highest Good...I believe that with all my heart. And I will do all all *I* can to do my part. But there comes a time when one has to ask for help. So...I am asking. And bless you.

Designergrl
Brandy Hatfield

Well....I didn't think that I'd be ignored. Perhaps I shouldn't have shared here. Like my mom tells me"I don't want to get involved".

Happy Mother's Day Mom.

designergrl

You were not ignored on my part. I just read for the first time and I'm sorry for what you are going through, but somehow I know you don't want sympathy.

I can offer continued prayer for you to keep the faith and the spirit that is within you to survive and thrive and carry on.

I am glad to see you found the freeweb site and are taking advantage of it. That's an excellent way for you to get your work out there.

I also celebrate your sobriety with you this month.

I hope you're having a great day.

Hey designergrl, I also missed the post, sorry. I love life too! That positive attitude will sure help keep you going through the tough times.

Congrats on the sobriety!

Yup, guess I jumped the gun again. Thanks ladies for your kind words. I think I have an over ly sensitive thing about attention, or lack thereof, flares up when I am feeling alone or discouraged.

I know it's scary to even talk to someone at times who has been thru this. I became a certified domestic abuse counselor once, then when it came time to begin my work with wmen, I couldn't . Too painful. Brought back my depression.

I just feel as tho' I am crawling and clawing my way out of this hole I buried myself back into. *I* take the responsibility for my choices. It just feels like it is taking soooooolong to make any Progress in my life, that I guess it spills out in places like these.

Right now I am researching getting my degree in Visual Communications or Graphic Design somewhere in Seattle. Trying to find sources for income, places to live, etc.... I have got to get out of here.

So I keep plugging at it daily. In between times I work on my illustrations.

I am starting to babble again ladies. Please forgive my little tantrum,ok ?

This too shall pass.


Brandy (designergrl)

Tantrums come and tantrums go, we've all had them at one time or another, no big deal. For me all I can offer you is prayer and good thoughts. I doubt anyone here is financially capable of helping anyone other than themselves and their families but then again who knows. If I could I would but I could actually use some financial help myself... Things will get better Brandy they always do somehow....God bless!

What a strong woman you are! I have always wanted to learn lip-reading and sign language as Helen Keller was my cousin and I wanted to do that to honor her memory, personally. I just haven't found the time to take a class.

You've done so much for yourself in spite of handicaps and hardships. You should be proud of yourself!

Dianne, Helen Keller was your cousin? Tell us more.

That's about all I know. She's in our family tree and I have pictures that are scary because her childhood pictures look EXACTLY like one of my granddaughters.

I always wanted to meet her but never had the opportunity. I've visited her childhood home and gave the museum a postcard from one of her relatives sent after World War I. I thought they could take care of it better than I could.

I've had people tell me very crude Helen Keller jokes and I just laugh and tell them I have one even better---she's my cousin. They don't know what to say or do. LOL!

Designergirl: You've come a long way. I pray the Lord guides you, that you may become a blessing to many.

Dianne, what a privilege!-Related to such an extraordinary woman!

We have a lot of extraordinary women here...ALL women are extraordinary, dontcha know ?


designergrl

Oh yeah, I love my gender.