protecting youth?

What do you do if you know about a child who is being smacked around by her father and she's 17?

I know of an situation where a family friend was trying to protect her daughter's 17 year-old friend from the friend's father. The friend didn't want to go home with her dad because she was afraid.

The police were called. When they arrived and heard the story they said the girl had to go with her father because she was under age.

The police said the child has to have proof on her body that her dad has been smacking her around.

Come on...who protects the children?

It's sad but the victim has to bear the burden of proof and often can't but let me explain why. Many, many times, there will be a rebel who wants to get even with one of the parents and report abuse where there isn't any. Many times a parent has been arrested and charged, only to find out there was never any abuse. The teenager was just angry.

On the other side, CPS will be called in and the child will be removed from the home and placed in a foster home. And a lot of times the authorities decide, hey, she's 17...it won't be that long until she can leave on her own. These people decide what a child's life is going to be like, sadly.

Remember me telling you about that abused baby my daughter was caring for in the hospital? They released him to his grandmother, which will probably give the abusers access to him. So far, CPS has done nothing. I think they are so overwhelmed and not enough social workers so that said, they probably decided a slap across the face was nothing.

It's a sad world.

I'm sure it is not true of all, but there are certainly many stories of abuse in foster homes.

And kids taking revenge must be a huge problem.

Recently my daughter was shopping with a friend and her five and three year old sons. When she pulled the three year old out of a toy display he was destroying, he yelled, "She's abusing me! Call somebody! She's abusing me!"

Fortunately those nearby saw what was happening and laughed, but those silly words of a three year old could have gotten that child taken away from his family.

The potential of taking a child from his parents can be as frightening as leaving them with the parents.

smile

[ March 06, 2006, 03:14 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Well the mother and her boyfriend who killed that baby girl, Crystal and threw her into a dumpster like so much trash have been extradited back to Vegas to stand trial and they are going to ask for the death penalty....they sure have my vote.

There is so much child abuse in our country. I wonder if it is drug related.

There has been a child in the news here whose mother's boyfriend (believed to be a drug user) repeatedly abused her. The mother is a beautiful young woman. Why did she allow that. What is wrong with her?

The child's birth father was away fighting in Iraq, but when on leave he and his mother tried to get custody. But our Child Welfare Dept. bungled the case and a judge denied him custody. Instead the judge repeatedly sent the child back to the abusive home. She eventually died of abuse.

Videos of her injured and in leg casts bravely smiling through her injuries have been all over the news. She was a beautiful child. The step father is being held without bail and they indicted the mother last week.

It is heart breaking. Her name was Kelsey.

smile

[ March 07, 2006, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Smile,

This is so terribly terrible. And for we Mothers who have had ill children, fighting every day for their very lives and to keep them from any harm at all, it's just more than I can hardly stand. Not that I don't fight for my healthy one, but you get my meaning...

As far as the drugs go....I do think they play a major part in abuse today, but I also think this: In my parents' day for instance, I think there was much child abuse going on. Part of that was that they didn't call it abuse then, and partly because if it was abuse, nobody talked about it. And I don't think drugs were really the issue then. I just think that our population has increased to such a degree - and with more people, more problems.....A lot of factors...Poverty being one also. And alienation. Especially from family. You know, I think it was harder to "misbehave" (such a silly term for such a horrible crime)when towns were small and family was watching...

Well, the only thing to do now, is to report all of it, watch and tell....

I'm thinking of little Kelsey.

Search

I'm with you, Searcher. I have always been so saddened when hearing of abuse of any child. Now, though, after the death of my daughter, I get so angry at the unfairness of it all. Here I sit, grieving for my daughter, while someone else is abusing theirs. If there is one thing I've learned, it is that life is not fair. Period.

One mother whose teenage daughter was rebeling, actually told me that the girl was not planned and she wished she'd never been born. I could not believe the woman would say that to me as I was grieving for my own daughter. Growing up with the mother's attitude, it is no wonder the girl rebelled.

My heart simply breaks for children in abusive homes.

flipper, and I'm sure if she told you that, the poor child's heard it over and over again.

My mother always talked about having me so soon after my sister. I heard it my entire life and finally asked her if she was really saying I was an unwanted child and she said yes.

My father told me he hated me the day I was born, hated me at that moment and would hate me the day I died. Nice, huh?

Today, I can look back at two very unhappy and angry people and feel sorry for them. Even if they had never told me these things, my spirit already knew. I'm a stronger woman for it.

I can't imagine the pain of hearing those horrible things as a child. Those words in themselves are abuse -- of the spirit.

It makes me so grateful to my own parents who, always made me know I was their beloved princess. Even now I know it. Dan and I have talked about how he was raised to be a prince and I a princess. His family had money and now I realize we had little, but I always thought we were rich. I guess we were.

I can't imagine your pain. I don't know how, but I pray for a miracle of forgivness and healing.

smile

Dianne, how could I have been born and raised by an (unknowingly step) father who treated me better than your daddy did. It pains me to hear how miserable little children are treated.

I really don't know if we were rich/poor in the monetary sense growing up. I just knew I didn't get everything I wanted but I never went cold or hungry and God was a part of our lives.

chick

Well, Dianne,

They must have lived very sad, miserable lives. For you are such a gift to all of us. Here they had the most beautiful gift right in front of them, and they missed it. It IS sad for them, but happy for us!!!!

Flipper - that's just tragedy in the truest sense.

Search

Thanks girls. Today, my dad has Parkinsons (which put a stop to the hate mail he sent out as he can't write anymore) and has one health problem after another. My mom gets irritated with him for his illnesses. Such compassion but then, he's receiving the treatment he dished out all of his life.

I've chosen to love them from a distance. Very long distance.

Dianne, you are one of those miracles that comes out of the ashes of trial by fire!

An old proverb says, "As you sow so shall you reap"....and Dianne its daddys turn to reap what he sowed, and so be it...Stay safe, happy and know how much you are admired by all of us lucky enough to know you and loved by those closest to you now....Distance can be such a safeguard.

You gals are so sweet.

Hey, I'm a school project. A girl in the 11th grade has been emailing me as she's doing a project on my book for some class. Wanted more information on me. I thought that was cute so now, we're emailing each other back and forth. I think I have a pen pal!

She said my book taught her a lot. I didn't know teenagers even read my book but I guess they do.

Dianne, I bet she is tickled. Can you imagine being in high school and having a real live author as a pen pal? She must feel like she's on top of the world. Good for you.

You said a mouthful Dotsie,
LOL I feel like that just being here among these wonderful successful women sometimes!

That is so cool Dianne! She picked a great topic!

She seems really sweet. Lives in Maryland. Asked her mother to pick out a "deep" book for her and she brought my book home.

I don't know if she's thrilled or just being polite. I'm not sure I'd want to email a 58 year old woman if I was in the 11th grade.