working from home/guilt

I think lots of us work from home.

How do you manage the guilt of having to work when your kids have a snow day and you have to work?

Here's what I'm doing.

Up and at 'em early so that when they wake I have some hours under my belt. Then if they need me for something, I already feel good about accomplishing so much, so early.

Then if they don't need me, I get tons of work accomplished!

Dots,

Even if you just carve out an hour of so to do something special with them -- they'll understand.

You are such a great, and thoughtful mom!

d.

Dotsie...I bet your kids are so proud of all that you do that just having you in the house and present when they have a snow day is a treat for them...but the fact that you get up early and work ahead so as to free up time for them is just another indictaion of what a great Mom and person you are....

That's a great plan Dotsie!

I work from home, but have no children here. However, my son, wife, grandson and 2 boxers lived with me for about 3 months while they were inbetween houses. My DIL and grandson didn't leave until about 9:00 for the day and I would try to work, but it never failed that Clayton would come and want to sit on my lap and "help". One time I really needed to get something done quickly and I gently set him aside, saying Mamaw has to work, blah, blah, blah - oh, my, did I hurt his feelings. After that, I never even tried to work until they were gone. It was only 3 months, after all.

Daisygirl

I think, Dotsie, that the most important thing is that you ARE at home. They can find stuff to do....I'm sure they do not NEED you by their side 24/7,right?

They are safe within ear and eyeshot,right?

I think that's a great idea. Emily is just in pre-k this year, so she's in school just 3 mornings a week. In the fall, she'll be in kindergarten 5 full days.

I know for me, I can be pretty flexible with what I'm doing during the day, but she is also at a point where she understands if I absolutely have to get something done.

I try to save anything that requires a lot of concetration for either when she's in school or after she goes to sleep at night.


Patty

It is a daily juggling act. Sometimes my children need me NOW ... sometimes they just want a few minutes of attention .... sometimes they are amusing each other or maybe watching a movie or playing a game together.

My challenges are when my older daughter is on vacation (she's in first grade) or when my kids are sick or something else is disrupting the routine. My baby will be a year old in two weeks, and she'll start walking soon -- toddlerhood has its own set of challenges!

When all else fails, when I can't get enough work done during the day and I'm up against a deadline - I've stayed up most of the night, or started work early in the morning while my family is sleeping.

Some days are more challenging than others, but I've become very used to juggling and doing things together, I'm able to work in short bursts (10 to 15 minutes at a time) and go back and forth. My lifestyle demands flexibility, resourcefulness, and adaptability. I don't rely on child care and never have.

Somehow it all gets done. And when it can't all get done, just make sure the essentials are taken care of - meet the deadlines if you can't get an extension, food, clothing, school, bills. Everything else can wait.

Guilt .... yeah, I still deal with that. Have to check my priorities sometimes and remind myself WHY I work from home in the first place - to be available for my children when needed or just so they know I'm here. I have to keep my priorities firmly in place because some people don't accept my priorities, or just have different ones, and I have to be firm in my answers when people want me to get involved in something else. Family, home, work -- if it doesn't fall into one of these three categories, I am under no obligation to fulfill it, or taking it on is solely at my discretion.

Another thing about guilt .... whose standards are you trying to live up to? Your own, or someone else's idea of how your life should be lived? I have high standards for myself, but I'm also learning how to be realistic. Not everyone accepts or agrees with how I live my life, but my children are healthy and happy, my husband has what he needs to do his job, and I finally have a working balance to my life that I can adjust as needed.

Wow...you sound like you really have your act together Kim...I absolutely love that you have made so many professional concessions so you can be home with your girls while they are little...I have 4 grown children...a son 29 and 3 girls , 27,24,21...I was a stay at home Mom and I gave up a lot of my early dreams to be with my babies..at the time it was difficult and sometimes very lonely...my husband traveled alot and some weeks I wouldn't talk to another adult from Monday until Friday...but looking back that time flew...my children are all very loving , nice people and they all appreciate their childhoods...your girls will appreciate you too...I love that you don't care about what everyone else thinks and you are living up to your own "high standards"...you sound like a really lovely young woman...I really admire what you are doing.

LOL!! Appearances (and sound) can be deceiving, but thank you <grin> I'm not nearly that "together" ... I have my good days and my bad days and my horrendous days when everything falls apart and I question my sanity again. I have to keep the bigger picture in mind, my priorities firmly in front of my nose, and I have to look at history and my long-term goals .... or else I feel like I'm running in circles sometimes :-P

It all comes together ... sooner or later, LOL!!!

I know the feeling of missing adult conversation .... and my husband works long hours at the post office and as a union official. I look at what I have sacrificed to do what I do, and how hard i have worked to be able to do this (yes, it's been hard work, still is) .... but then I look at my children and see how they are thriving, and I wouldn't give that up for anything. I have very strong opinions in this area, and I better be careful with my mouth lest I get myself into trouble too quickly. "Some day", perhaps I will return and continue with my career dreams. My mother's death changed all of that for me. But even if "some day" never comes and I look back on my life -- I want to be satisfied with the choices I've made and what I've contributed to the world. If my choices and contributions result in two (or more) happy, well-adjusted, productive women - then I'll be satisfied. If I get to do something for myself in 20 years -- then all the better.

Nancy - I like your signature -- that's an excellent point, and it's very true (speaking from experience).

Marian is down for a quick nap, I have a business card set-up to do, then out the door again (just got back home).

Mamakim and AvolonBlondi you are both to be admired for putting your children first. It does make a positive difference in the make-up of ones children as they become adults....There is no greater or more rewarding job than that of a mother, doesn't pay much in money but ones self worth cannot be measured....Bravo to all who are able to be just MOM!!!