work/raising family

I just finished reading "Bitch In The House". It's an anthology written by women who share their stories about sex, work, family, being it all and doing it all.

I'd say the majority of the stories are written by women who've had it! They're sick of working full time, raising their kids, keeping house, and taking care of thier husbands too. It's a sad commentary on what has happened to our culture.

After reading a couple of the stories I found communication to be the biggest barrier. Not all the women were honest with their spouses. They seemed to have chosen the martyr approach to life. "No, I'll do it, it's okay"

Several of the women reflected upon their mother's lives and didn't want a repeat. Their moms either stayed home, so they were choosing a career path, or their moms worked and did it all. They didn't want that either, but they have found history repeating itself because everything falls on women.

What do women want? I think that would make an awesome book, but I think many of us want differing things. Thoughts?

You all know I'm shy, right Ms Maggie? But I just gotta speak out here. I know what I want.

I want to stay single, or marry Prince Charming without the horse. Oh and he's loaded. The Prince, not the horse. The money isn't important to me, it's the freedom it allows that I want.

I want to finish my book and know that everyone loves it and laughs out loud when they read it and then they go, "Oh boy, can I EVER relate to that!"

I want my friends that are troubled to find peace, and for the ones that are not troubled, I want them to share their love with the others.

I want this new job to go away, but another, more fulfilling one to take it's place, with the same or greater salary, of course.

I want science to suddenly find a cure for my Daddy's fatal disease and my Mother to never have to experience cancer again, or the Divine Ms. Meredith either.

I want DreamerK to win the lottery, and to also have her wallpaper peel off like a banana.

I want Smiles to write the musical of a lifetime, and be known over the world.

I want you all to have love, happiness and joy in yours lives and ALWAYS be my friend.

But mostly, I want my enemies to live long, healthy lives so that....

WHEN I AM FAMOUS, I CAN GO....NANA BOO BOO...

WHAT?

JJ, this is the good fairy speaking (No not Elton John--though he might have more power (a.k.a. CASH)

Anyway, as your personal good fairy, sprinkle, sprinkle fairy dust .

All your wishes are hereby granted.

Wheee. Let's GO!!

smile

Ms Fairy Person,
I want to thank you from the bottom of my horse. Now...can we go over this ONE MORE TIME? There seems to have been a slighttttt mistake, k?

No horse...a rich man

Capice?

geeish...I get the K-mart special on fairies...

Okay jj, but I'm telling you this horse was nice. Well, nice wasn't the right word, but just think how blessed you will be for saving him from the glue factory
You now how I feel about horses!

smile

Oh my bleeding heart...okay fine. I'll keep the horse...but ya think you could wave that wand again and this time...

M A N

R I C H

T W O L E G S

This is strike one...

JJ.

I'm waving! I'm waving! Practically causing a tsunami here. Wave, wave, wave.

Maybe this wand is defective.

smile

JJ and Smile-you girls are crazy!

Dotsie-I have worked full time my entire adult life and had a family. It is hard work. Time for yourself just does not exist unless it is at the expense of another.

I work for beneits-health, dental vision etc. I ahve to. I also need the income to put my son in parochial school. Not expensive school but not public education which is secondary to the egos in the school system.

Would love to walk in the morning, work a bit, help son with homework and cook good dinners and have friends that you can take the time to talk too. What a blessed life.

I am not complaining-I have achieved alot careerr wise but it is a job not a life. Sometimes this is where the bitterness comes in. Women do. That is the begining and end. We are the center of the cog to keep the family going. Some of us work outside the home and that takes away from some of our greatest strengths.

Lynn

I'm with Lynn. I wish I could freelance so maybe I could cut back my hours or be more flexible with my hours. But I don't think I have the right personality (and confidence) to be a good freelancer. I'd be happy if I could just stop having anxiety attacks because I think I'm forgetting to do something or be somewhere (which I often do). Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning from the demands of work, home, family, horses and all the writing I want to do. I don't feel like I'm under the gun because my husband doesn't do enough. It's just that everything seems to move so fast, there's so much change, and so much you have to learn to keep current on your job skills, so much information to keep straight. It makes my head spin. (I need a spinning head graemlin to go here)

Lynn I know what you mean...sometimes I am like a robot going through the motions of life and aching inside not to spend all day with my daughter...trying to find some me time, some writing time just makes me feel guilty for not doing what I "should" be doing...work just intrudes on my life too much. But our Prime Minister is introducing changes to help cope with the ageing population so that we will never retire from paid work! (He won't be getting MY vote.)

Lynn, Agate, and Julie. I can totally relate to what you all are saying. Life gets going at such a pace that we can feel guilty regardless of what we're doing. When working, we SHOULD be with kids. When with kids, we SHOULD be wroking. When at a kid's game, we SHOULD be making dinner, cleaning, food shopping, doing laundry, and the list goes on.

One way I think we can truly help ourselves is by LOWERING OUR EXPECTATIONS. Then maybe we wouldn't feel frustrated when we can't accomplish everything we seet out to do in a day.

A good example may be with Easter coming. Do we really need to have the family, clean before they come, cook for everyone, and then clean up when they all leave.

I say have the family, but do it differently. I'm getting better at leaving the house a little messier. It's neat, but maybe not CLEAN. Let family bring a dish. No one minds. It's better for them to come to our house and not have to do ALL the preparations. Bringing one dish should be a breeze for them. Then, before everyone leaves, get most of the cleaning up done. That way we won't be in the kitchen for an hour or so after they leave. We can put our feet up and take a littel break.

Just some thoughts. Any other ideas on how to make our lives easier.

The best idea I've had to make my life easier is for me to get a wife.

No sex required.

Okay, I give up. Not sure I understand Thistle Farms solution to the problem, get a wife??? Of course I am no one to judge anyones choice of a partner, I had me a Unick for 5 years and went along with it too, until one day I got hit on the head and brought back into the conscience world. HE'S HISTORY!!!

I know how thin we are all stretched but I try to enjoy whatever I'm doing and sometimes integrate one job into another so neither is too demanding.

Friends over for big dinners, I agree, everyone is assigned a dish to bring and after dessert is served, I hand out hand crocheted aprons with each woman's name on hers and they just put them on and off we go to clean the mess. Plus the apron is hers to keep...Works fine and they're happy to have a nice gift. If its a bar-b-que, the men clean and we ladies retire to the pool.

My only real complaint about all the directions I feel myself being pulled is when I was 36, I;d say to myself, "Self, not a problem plenty of time for that later." However now that I am 63, I say "self, gotta get to it, never know how much time is left." I am not growing old gracefully.