Green-eyed, Ugly Monster Student?

For two years this woman in my class acted as if she was just a straight up dummy. Since we were forced into these groups, I would do the work, despite the fact that this particular woman had little to no contribution...right?

Well, meanwhile, I had the responsibility of paying for my classes as well as my two children's college tuition (the left over after loans and scholarships). The only reason I did her part of the group work was because I didn't have time to play with her and handle the rest of my personal business. It was too much trouble to go to appropriate staff to explain my position.

This woman never acknowleged my contribution to her degree. This past May she graduated and I didn't! I owe a balance. She emailed me to ask if I'd be a personal or professional reference for her to gain a higher position as a result of this added degree. I don't want to for two reasons; one) she does not know this work (systems analysis and design, network, DBMS... , two) she is an ingrate.

Am I just envious of the fact that she graduated and I didn't or do I have good reason to feel this way?

Sounds like you have a good reason to feel that way. Did you ever talk to her about your problems in class? Some people are amazingly unaware of what they are doing to others and need a wake-up call.

Do you know this woman outside of school? If not, then you don't owe her anything, in my opinion. I certainly wouldn't write a letter of recommendation for someone who can't contribute to the work load.

If you work with her, or socialize with her out of school, then it could get awkward. If you feel you must write a letter for her, make it very bland and simple - I've done that a few times. Just state the facts: Tell who you are, how you know her, and add a line that they can contact you if they have questions.

Most employers have learned to read between the lines of these letters and they'll get your drift.

Good luck!

If you know absolutely that this woman is not competent then do not recommend her. This is your reputation you are talking about. NO is a word in the English language and from where I sit more of you ladies have to learn how to use it....Tell her it is your personal policy never to recommend anyone! Then keep perfectly still because the first one who speaks after that comment loses....Why would you want to recommend a cheat, and cheat she is by letting you do all the work she gladly took credit for.

RIGHT! All three of you are absolutely right. Chatty, I think I will use that two letter word straight out of the English lang; NO.

Rick and June, I don't know her outside of the classroom. I was peeved when she was too dumb to simply say, "Thank you for all of your help."

As awkward as it may get if she pursues this, I will have to let her know this. Chatty, I will use that tactic too, if/when she calls for MORE help. Good one.

Thanks guys. I was wondering if I was just being a ____ or acting jealous or some other evil.