bridal showers--a different planet?

An employee at work mentioned her sister, who was getting married for 2nd time, specifically asked that her shower not include getting her drunk (like forcing her to drink lots of booze), have male stripper(s), etc.

this employee (herself is in her early 40's) insisted it was NORM for bridal showers to have stripper(s), other rauchiness, getting bride drunk.

I did not disguise my bewilderment and slight disgust in my response: "My social circles of women are abit different. I've never been to a bridal shower like that at all." She was surprised that my sister, a lst time bride at the age of 37 yrs. last year, had a sedate shower --ie. lovely luncheon, gifts that's all.

I stressed that my experience was not a cultural difference at all...since most of these bridal showers I attended, where the bride was Caucasian.

I really felt our worlds were VERY different.

Have trends in content of bridal showers changed in the past few decades? I don't think imitating the male stag party of "sowing your wild oats" one last time is worthwhile tradition for women to even follow. Sends a stupid, double message about marital /sexual fidelity. (a joke, ha-hah..hollow joke.)

And by the way, 1/2 of my friends who have had sedate showers, are not religious. Others are religious.

Tell me what the norm is these days in "entertainment" for bridal showers.... secular style.

I was invited to a bridal shower a couple of years ago at a male strip club. I did go to the wedding but declined the shower invitation. As it turned out, most of the girls who were invited passed on the strip club too. It was a sparsely attended event. The bride was from California and I guess she thought it was somehow a trendy idea? Yek.

About 5 years ago a coworker told me some of the girls would be getting together after work for a few drinks and invited me along. Ummmm, she failed to mention that it was an informal bridal shower. When I showed up there was a gyrating male stripper on stage. Lots of presents in special penis decorated gift bags and the ladies got raunchy pretty quickly. I left as soon as I could find an excuse.

Also another good friend of mine got married a few years back and she was telling me excitedly of the wedding plans. I asked her, as a gift to me, if she could please not smear cake onto the face of the groom at the joyous reception. She agreed that the cake slopping was a contemporary protocol they would bypass.

I'm by no means a prude, but bad taste is bad taste no matter what they do on MTV.

You said it Mrs Maddness. After reading the post and response, I was beginning to think I live on another planet. The showers I've been to are cake, fingers foods, sometimes elaborate foods, sometimes just the bare minimium, but always in good taste. And gifts. Some play games if its a small group, but larger ones usually don't.

NO STRIPPERS or anything inappropriate. Now before anybody jumps all over me and ask me who made me judge and jury of what's appropriate and what isn't....I'm just stating that the inappropriateness of male strippers at a shower is just ME...ME PERSONALLY. k? No hate mail, please.

Why would somebody have to wait until right before they got married to see male strippers? Can't they do that anytime?

And I always cringe when I see a beautiful bridge who has spent all of Momma and Daddy's hard earned money on the nails, the makeup and the hair, not to mention the dress, the food, church, country club, etc....and see her get cake smeared in her face. It loses something, if you ask me.

AGAIN...............JUST MY OPINION.

I am unfamiliar with the "custom" of smearing cake over bride's or groom's face. What is the meaning of that? I've never been to a wedding to witness that type of "jok"...have been to over ..20 different weddings I guess.

I'm sorry, there are some stupid traditions/ rituals that demean either the bride or groom or puts one of them on unequal footing.

My partner mentioned he's been to some grooms' stag parties. It's been such a long time since he's been to one.. but he actually found them boring. The raciest thing was a porn video put on.

Yes, I've been to a male strip show with over 20 women..just to experience a strip show. That was 25 yrs ago. when male strip shows were still a novelty. Nowadays, probably not.

I confess when the employee claimed that this was the norm, the male stripper et al... to me, it sounds SO old-fashioned....and I'm sorry to say, hill-billy, low-brow dumb. It sounded so backwoods childish to me

I love a sexy well-written novel, a raunchy/bawdy joke, appreciate nude well-executed art...but all in good, SUGGESTIVE taste and imagination.

All bridal showers I've attended have been like JJ described. However, some of the girls have been given "bachelorette parties" where they go party-hardy and act like it's their last chance to do anything crazy before they tie the knot.

My best friend had a bachelorette party at Chippendales (this was 20 years ago) and I went. I hadn't ever been to a place like that. It was quite entertaining, I must say, but I didn't actively participage in the tucking of money into the dancer's pants. And the dancer went around the room kissing the girls in the front row, of which my friend partook - aaack!

I never felt the need for that type of party, but then I'm not a real drinker and partier to begin with. Maybe now some women are including the bachelorette party with the bridal shower? Tacky, in my opinion.

I'm with you gals...give me a normal shower...where the raciest thing is reading back all the things the bride says as she opens the gifts pretending they are her wedding night comments...

Neither of my daughters had bawdy showers...or if they did...I wasn't invited! LOL!!!!

I'm a wedding and event planner, and I have not heard of this trend for showers either, at least in our area of the southwest. Going to Vegas for a bachelorette party is very popular, but showers tend to remain a time for friends and family to honor the bride. Showers come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and themes, but I've never seen or heard of one like you describe...thank GOODNESS!