How often in contact with your partner during day?

Both my partner and I are intrigued how much contact some couples seem to have during the day when each person is at work or 1 person at home, on the go, etc.

Few wks. ago there was snowstorm , where I got a car ride ...from one of guys at work. It took 4 hrs. for us to cover 30 kms. During that time he and his girlfriend talked to each other briefly....4 times.

When I finally arrived home, I asked my partner if he would have appreciated a phone call. He said: Well, I knew the weather wasn't great. Or figure you'll go off somewhere by yourself for a coffee/go shopping.

Genuinely, we don't "check" on each other much during the day. We might email briefly or talk for 3 min. on phone....um..2-3 times per week while I'm at work and he is at home. Even when he worked, I rarely had the incentive to phone him. For both us, it broke our work focus.

Of course, we don't have children in the household.

We've been together 14 years. 3 years were spent apart where he was forced to relocate to a different city for work. During that time, we talked/wrote every day at the end of the day.

Orchid, from what you've described, it sounds pretty normal to me. When my husband worked, he usually called once a day. Not more.

Now my Hubby is retired, so we're together the entire day. We talk all the time. In restaurants we are the couple talking lively away. People probably think we are on our first date. That is something I love dearly about my husband. I never cared for the silent type, and I sure didn't get one. He's more a talker than I am...which is sometimes hard to believe...I know.

I work with a woman who gets 10 to 15 calls a day from friends, husband, mother and sisters. Everytime she hangs up the phone she says how much she HATES the phone and hates talking on it! Cracks me up everytime!

Hmmm, interesting question. I would guess that in a week's time of work days, my hubby and I might talk on the phone twice, and email maybe 5-6 times.

But my best friend talks to her husband at least twice a day; sometimes she calls, sometimes he calls. Her daughter is away at college, and if she doesn't talk to her at least once a day, she gets really worried. She can't understand how I can go three days without talking to my son, who moved out recently.

I guess it's just different relationships. My husband and I are much more comfortable doing our own things, going our own ways, while my friend does almost everything with her husband. Whatever works!

Kathy

When I was married to Mr. Wrong, he called me at work every single day around 8:30ish wanting to know what I was going to fix for supper.

Now I call him Mr. Ex....teehee...

Mr.Wrong, hah! That about covers it but in my case mine millstone always called me on his way home to see if I needed anything from the store or wanted him to bring something home for dinner. He was good that way. He was also a great shopper, better than me with sales or specials. I never bother about that stuff....

When I worked outside the home, DH'd call me at least 2 times a day. I hated it because, as Orchid stated, it breaks work focus. I worked in accounting and there were so many deadlines to be met, it was disruptive for me. He now works from home, so unless he's traveling, we talk pretty much all day. When he's out of town, he checks on me regularly - can be up to 4 times in any given day. I love when he's here, but I truly enjoy when he's out on a turnup or conversion. I'll admit, sometimes I wish he'd loose my number, but at the same time I want to know he's safe.
I rarely initiate the call.

Hubbo and I both work at home but don't speak much during the day. Mostly about food -- What are we having for breakfast? Are you coming down for lunch? What do you want for dinner?

When we're at the gym, we mostly talk about the upcoming dinner. It's hysterical -- "Do you want tuna?" "No, I'd rather have salad." "I don't want salad." "Then what about pasta?" -- on and off for 2 hours. That's if we're speaking at all that day.

It's even worse at the grocery store -- a running commentary on every item we may/may not want to buy.

If we talk about anything else, it usually leads to a fight, so food it is for now.

I go on vacations mostly to get away from him, so I communicate as little as possible. After being subjected to weeks-long lectures after I got back home (nag, nag, nag -- that's why I left in the first place) about how worried he was about me, now I send a terse email when I arrive at my destination -- "Plane didn't crash. I'm here."

Once upon a time we had conversations, but he always turned it into a nag-a-thon about crap that happened years ago, so I gave up talking to him. I have no desire to resume.

Staying in contact with a spouse can be a good thing or a bad thing. Here's an example.

My first husband used to call me at work several times a day. Every time, asking me where I am, what I'm doing and who is there. He'd be really insecure if I didn't answer the phone and he'd have me paged to find out where I was. It really upset me to have him do this all the time. It got to the point that it wasn't funny anymore when people would tell me my husband was looking for me. Sometimes, he'd even stop by work and ask to see me if he couldn't get through to me on the phone. (this was before cell phones)

That marriage ended a long time ago. He was just way too insecure and paranoid. Mostly because he was doing things he shouldn't with other women and he projected his guilt onto me.

Now, my husband and I talk as frequently as we need to. Sometimes we'll e-mail several times a day, or call, sometimes we'll go all day and not talk until he comes home from work. Just depends on how our days are going and if we aren't too busy. We also have a private forum that we use to leave each other messages or "to do" things.

One thing that I try to remember to do is say "I love you" at least once a day.

i am lucky think i got a partner with the same type of goals via communicasion, that it's gotta be connected in some way, even for ten minets.....if it dosent happen for a couple of days i get told i am missed ahhhh or i even say i miss u which gets a bit of connection going just cheecking in with each other problems get aired and resolved quicker than any other relashionship and i get to feel intimacy and love...

thats about all i wanted from a relashionship communicasion wise just 5 -10 minets of connection....

in the past i have relashionships that bug the hell outa me if i was working and they phoned when i was presurised then id just resent the interuption and probley be rude or sharp with them....I would hate the stalking calls when where why outa jelousy or insecurity......

i think for me it more to do with what the intension is behind the communicasion thats always more important....mostly than what the commmunicasion is about, if that makes sence...

celtic_flame

I had an employee who's newly wedded hubby checked on her every few hrs. at work. Once, he dropped by at her workplace. It scared her. He must have driven 250 kms. to see her. He kept badgering her to drop the job, because he needed her to cook dinner, clean house. She felt guilty. So she quit. I found out shortly she got pregnant.

I feel sorry for her. She barely knew her hubby, I think she met him via letters. Though she is university educated from Philippines and already over 38 yrs. when she married, it was amazing she got herself in this situation....

He sounds abit creepy to me, stalking her, badgering her, etc.

My husband and I talk on the cellphone at least 3-4 times a day. I call him on my lunch break at work and he calls me when he is on the road from work.
We just want to hear each others voices, I think and hear those words, "I love you."
I think we are evolving as a couple and learning so many things about each other. We've sort of made a decision to stay together but not live under the same roof.
He is on medication now and it seems to have made a major difference in his life.
I love him very much and I know he loves me, yet there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of leaving him. Its a strange relationship and certainly doesn't fit anyones norm, but I love him and check on him daily as he does me.

My husband and I call each other several times a day while I'm living at my brother's place. He calls me every morning to see how I am, if I slept well and what my score was on the online daily quiz that we both take. I might call him during the day if I need him to bring me something from home the next time he comes over, or to ask him to pick up groceries on his way over. On the days he doesn't come over, he'll call again in the evening to chat and to kiss me good night. I couldn't do this without him.

Eagle, what's the daily quiz? Is that something in the newspaper?

Hubby and I speak to one another a couple times a day. I call him, he calls me, whatever. We are often in touch. Can't help it.

My sister and her hubby are worse though. Mom used to say they couldn't go to the bathroom without calling one another.

We talk about three times a day. He just checks in to see how I'm doing.

Dotsie, the quiz was mentioned here about a year ago, and my hubby and I have been doing it almost every day since. Lately it's been very difficult and frustrating with bizarre and obscure questions.

Here's the link if you want to give it a try...http://my.funtrivia.com/tournament/-35088.html I think it's open to newcomers. And I think there are a couple of other Boomer women who participate now and then as well...

I see that Eagle's winning with +9 points. Is that you?

Yes Dotsie, I'm Eagle, but I only got 7 today...did you sign up? Lately, they've had very difficult questions, but it's still fun to get the brain working. It's interesting that hubby and I rarely get the same answers wrong...I don't do well on the questions about American presidents and history, he doesn't know much of the pop culture stuff. If we did the quiz together, we'd probably get 10 every day!

No, I didn't sign up. I was just checking it out.