Married or Single!

If you were given the chance to have a HAPPY marriage or be happily single which would you choose? Understanding that by happy I mean no abuse, nothing bad, just a nice, loving, supportive man by your side. By happily single I mean 'no money worries,' a job you love and good friends. Take some time, think about it and enlighten us. Some of the answers may be a surprise to everyone, now BE HONEST.

Chatty
I love this question. I have been both, happily single and happily in a relationship. I would choose happily in a relationship.

I absolutely loved my time being single, and I have spent most of my adult life being single, with a great job, enough money and lots of friends. I dated lots of good men (and lots of creeps), but I was single and loved every minute of being single. I could choose when to be with the current guy and when to be alone.

A few years ago (more than five) I met Dennis and I have not turned back. I love being in a relationship with a man that is great. We have so much in common (a love of travel and learning about different cultures, we are both "foodies",love movies at home, we have art in common and we both enjoy a warm and welcoming home) and so much that is different (I love drama and hate sports, he loves the exact opposite; I love veggies, he loves meat; I enjoy girlfriends, he wants to be in front of his computer) and we support each other in so many ways.

Not so very long ago, I would have answered quite differently, but I had never been in a real and fulfilling realtionship before. As long as this relationship remains in balance and in love, I will prefer the relationship.

Thanks for your answer. I didn't want to go first. I would love to be married again or still but to a man that I was comfortable with. One that understood the sometimes workaholic in me, and my need and love of giving to others, people but especially to the animals. I relish the little married secrets that two people share, the smile from across the room, a soft touch of support. I miss that kind of thing the most. I think about being really old and ready to cash on my chips and having no one to hold my hand, to cry for me or miss me. I'm not counting my son here. I bet you never thought you'd hear me say I prefer marriage to being single...Nothing has ever felt as good to me as being someones cherished darling, friend and lover...

I suppose if you were HAPPY in either choice, it really wouldn't matter...either way you'd be happy and isn't that what it's all about?

Personally, I choose relationship. I like to share...

Married happy ...the only way to go. When you're married not happy, it sucks! And being single happy is okay for awhile...independent and didn't have to think of anyone else but myself...and I could have done that forever, I guess, but I didn't want to live my life alone, but married again ONLY to the man I knew was right and had his stuff together. I am married and the happiest I've ever been in my life.
I hope you fine the man of your dreams, Chatty. Keep the faith and keep lookin'.

Funny thing is I did, twice and lost them both. Bith are deceased. At my age maybe I will bump into another one, they tell me the third times the charm. I'll wait and see.

Oh how I'd love to play matchmaker for you Chatty! I could imagine an author type would be nice for you. Puffing away at his pipe, and stroking his dog behind the ears. Wait a minute, he should be stroking you behind the ears!

Actually I think it's very rare to find a situation where one is completely happy. There are days I wish I were single, yet I'm happy with my hubby most of the time. Accepting the fact that nothing is perfect is probably the way to "happiness." I still have to work on that myself. I know if I were single I'd have days when I'd be unhappy, so I think all in all, being married is better. Besides, you can always blame the other one when you have a bad day.

What kind of man do you think you could be happy with Chatty?

The fact that my husband loves to watch sports, and I don't, gives me the freedom to do what I want during the time he's glued to the tube. So I think in some cases it's better if you don't always have all the same interests, then you have a certain amount of freedom, as if you were single.

As they say in Germany, "There is a lid, for every pot."

Matchmaker machmaker give meeeee a match….catch me a catch…..I'm excited for you!

Chatty, I'm sorry you're having to put up with such 'nincompoops'! I've actually had a couple neighbors accuse me of being gay! One married gal b/c I conversed w/ her husband re: animal health (he is a vet!); and, a widow accross the street for not partaking of his advances!

Just b/c someone is single does not mean they are gay, I simply wear a lot of 'yard clothes' on the weekends b/c there is only one (1) of me to mow the lawn, rake, plant, shovel, weed, etc., and I do get pretty dirty -- and love it! So, being single can be cumbersome when you have to rely upon yourself, yet invigorating b/c it allows for more me time! I'm actually shedding some fears, which allows positive folks and activities into my life (i.e., longer walks with dog, horseback riding, gardening, all of which involve nature and serenity). I'm trusting God, and if he has someone in mind, good, if not, good too b/c he is simply saving me from heartache and knows what's best. I pray the same for you Chatty!

Great question. I love being married but that's because I'm happy. We've been married for 27 years so we really know what makes the other tick and we try to keep the one another happy, which some how means we are happy.

However, my husband is coming up on a trip with our oldest son. He will be gone for four days and I'm looking forward to that alone time. I intend to get lots of work done. I'm also going to put a big dent in my Christmas shopping. I'll eat, sleep, drink ,and come and go as I please.

Mustang your new way of looking at your life sounds so very "all together" and intelligent. You are definitely on the mend and I take my hat off to you my friend....

Now you Hannelore, I was laughing outloud reading your post. You are too funny. Yes I would love the Author type, pipe and all, dogs being scratched works for me. You're right about some different interests being best. I'm not exactly sitting around pineing for a man, but if one should wonder into my yard, and stumble into one of the camouflaged holes I've dug, HE'S MINE! I would like someone intelligent, with a cheery smile, easy going, who finds me irrestible, enjoys good food, finds me charming, truly believes in God, is finacially independent, find me fascinating, get the picture??

I get the picture. And I totally agree with the believes in God part!

Chatty, your dream man sounds cute. He must be out there somewhere, or at least lying around in one of your ditches. LOL
Now if you should get married again, can we all come to the wedding? Huh? Can we?

I choose being married. It took a while for him to grow a brain but it's been wonderful! He's my best friend. He's not good on emotional support but you have to give and take. We were at a friend's house watching a football game and of course, I was cheering for the other team and our friend asked David how he controls me. David told him it wasn't a matter of controling but managing. And, that's what he does. He let's me be me but we're always open for discussion if he feels I'm about to get into something that might not be good for me and he's always been right.

Dianne, do you think the move to Minnesota has been good for your marriage? Just wondering. I've heard that moving away from family can either make or break a marriage.

When we were first married, we lived in Philly. I think it was good for us because we only had one antoher when we first moved there. We couldn't go running to our family or friends every time we got upset so we were forced to communicate with one another. This was in the days before cell phones, internet, IMing, etc.

The move was good for our marriage because we weren't living apart any longer. A long distance marriage is really tough and especially since he doesn't like to talk on the phone.

By the way Dianne how is Diz doing? Has she stopped the nonsense behavior?

I'm still thinking...

hahahahahaha I love your wish list Chatty!!!! WHo knows, maybe Santa will drop Mr Right in your yard!!!

Gee I hope not Craftyone, my yard is big rocks, gravel and cactus. OUCH! Want him in one piece after all.