What can I say to help my sister?

this could probably go in the Children board as well, but here is a summary:

(First of all, since I am not a mother, it's hard for me to identify, so I thought I'd go to my trusted boomer gals for input!)

Sister, age 51, married 20 years to a foreigner. They live in his country.

Two kids, girl age almost 17, boy 15.

Sister and DH had troubles
DH did not really want kids, but had them.
Sister lost love for DH. He is cold, emotionless, tough...just like his dad.
Sister said way too much about husband and their relationship to kids.
Now, kids are upset w/mom for not leaving Dad.
Son will NOT go to school, despite counseling and does not tell anyone why he will not go.
Now, sister and her husband are trying to "act" like they are ok (for the kids' sake) when the kids know differently.
Husband is trying to be nice and talk to kids,but we are afraid that Mom (my sis)said too much, ruining his chances to "make nice".

Hope this makes sense. My sis feels badly that she said too much, but I told her I've done that, too. I think she just needed somone to talk to and considered her kids as "friends" instead.

How can one help? I told her the best we can do is pray and allow God to do His thing. We tend to want to do TOO much, therefore resulting in doing or saying the wrong thing!

Any advice please??

See a family therapist.
Lynne

Oh, they have.

She says "How can one physically MAKE a kid go to school? They've told him that if stays home he must go out to work, that he cannot just stay in the house. He says "Oh yes, I can."

I really feel frustrated that I cannot help.

Cut the 17 year old off. No food, no money, nothing. Yeh, I know the kids have a lot to say now when it comes to laws now in this country, but don't know about your sis, where she lives.
Get the law involved about going to school. If your sis wants her kids to make it, she will have to put her life on hold and go for it with her kids. I had to do it, and I'm happy to say it worked. That's why I got involved with working with teens. But....as I said before...it's the country she lives in that has the laws involving teens and their parents.
There is nothing you can do. Just keep on praying that things will work out.
Does the boy run around in a crowd, or gang as they call it now? Is he a leader or a follower? That tells you a lot about a teen.
Good luck to your sis.
Lynne

The boy is using this as an excuse not to go to school. Was he doing that well grade wise before your sister told him what was going on?

I'd get the principal of the school involved and have a meeting with all of his teachers.

He's too young to be calling the shots.