What Our Men Are REALLY Thinking

Posted by: Anne HolmesAdministrator

What Our Men Are REALLY Thinking - 05/01/13 06:17 PM

Steve and I have been married for 25 years now, and I still haven't learned not to ask him what he's thinking when he's been silent for ages. He usually give me some sort of answer that boils down to "nothing, dear." And of course, I don't buy that. My brain is always thinking something. and it just seems reasonable that his is too.

But maybe not. I just read an article titled What Your Husband Won't Tell You written by Ben Schrank, the author of a book called "Love is a Canoe," and it was not only quite revealing -- but it made me laugh.

And I read a few sections to Steve, who admitted that the guy is telling the truth!

So you might want to give it a quick read. And then let me know whether or not this article "speaks" to you...

Here's a quick tidbit:

Quote:
The Truth About That Look
Take any random afternoon. We are glaring. We are frowning. We have been silent for two hours. It does not mean we have stopped loving you. We're just driving the car or wondering why someone we report to hates us or missing Led Zeppelin and wondering if My Morning Jacket is the new Zeppelin and perhaps we're too old for that music but should we embrace it anyway if we had more time, if we were more comfortable with the Cloud and digital music... We are really getting worked up. But it's not about you. We love you. And we are not going to tell you why we were so unhappy-looking just now because we are embarrassed about it, and now that you've asked twice, the truth is we can't remember, and we are not going to admit that, either.



Here's a link to the book: Love is a Canoe
Posted by: yonuh

Re: What Our Men Are REALLY Thinking - 05/02/13 12:20 AM

Yep, I don't even ask any more. :-)
Posted by: jabber

Re: What Our Men Are REALLY Thinking - 05/02/13 05:36 PM

WB is so quiet, it's difficult just trying to talk to him. The only time he's talkative is if he's get excited about some geocaching puzzle, or nature trail, or trip. Asking questions usually results in replied grunts. So like yonuh, I've given up trying to carry on a conversation with the man. But he has so many good qualities, I overlook the quietness. His brother is quieter than he is. Hubby's parents were quiet, too. His mom was a school teacher; his dad did landscaping. Both were nice but very quiet.
Posted by: orchid

Re: What Our Men Are REALLY Thinking - 05/06/13 03:02 AM

It's always a mistake to think a person's facial expression reveals their thoughts accurately.

My partner has a narrow face with sharper features and deep set large blue eyes. If he's not smiling, he looks "hard". He has had to tell his children (when they were younger) not to mistaken his natural facial expression for how much he cares about them.

What compensates it, is his voice tends to be softer, gentler sounding than most men's voices. It's not a baritone/bass but more a tenor. Believe me, it's a very useful natural voice for a guy to have, especially when dealing with a broad range of people and cultures.

When he speaks, his voice timbre adds a lot of natural grace and cadence. And not surprisingly, he's had management jobs in his former career.

I know I tend to look too serious or even angry, when really I'm puzzled when I'm listening intently.