Trust funds, does anyone have one?

Posted by: dancer9

Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/10/08 07:21 PM

I ask this because I am a trust fund "baby," and get frustrated a lot with my trustees.
I put all my money into my trust through out my career thinking it would make me secure when I was older, but it also makes me sort of dependent on them for big decisions!
I can't make a BIG change, or tap a large amount of money without their approval.
This is bothering me now because I wish to move but they think it is unsafe for me.

I should be clear: I did inherit a trust fund from my grandfather and I added to it. It was set up to be managed by bankers by him and I just went along with it when I was very young. I made enough to make changes with my own income and did not put those monies I used in the trust.

Now I am more dependent on the trust and I can't seem to make any impulsive moves, or big changes!

This should be a whine.

They complain that I give away too much money. They complain that I take too many risks now with my health.

They will not consider some traveling I want to do, saying it is unsafe for me.

They won't let me move "home," saying it is not safe for me to be in New Orleans again!

Is anyone in the position of being blocked in this way?

Dancer
Posted by: jawjaw

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/10/08 07:36 PM

Can you say lawyer? This doesn't sound like any trustees I've ever heard of...I believe they need to be investigated.

I'm sorry to say I have no history to draw on.

I'm sure you could find an independent party (lawyer) though to sort through it all.

If it were me, they would not be telling me no.
Posted by: chatty lady

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/10/08 10:50 PM

Dancer, the only way these men prosper and earn a salary, percentage usually, is by staying in control of your money. If you want your money, ALL your money, you can go to court and file papers to gain control of your money, all the money in your trust...
Posted by: dancer9

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/11/08 01:23 AM

Ladies,
I can MORE than say "lawyer," I can give you two, my aunt and uncle.
I share this trust, it is not only mine. I mixed my money with another family member, a mentally ill, millionare mother.
I may not spell well or know my grammar, but I know life.
As I said, this should be under "A very fine Whine," because that is what it is.
The money has been invested by the trustees for years.
There is no way to separate my money from my mother's at this late date, even if my aunt and uncle were fine with it.
I am not stupid, just a bit emotional.
I should have included the catch 22 in my rant.
I appreciate the two who responded.

I just needed a bit of sympathy, that's all. I thought maybe someone else was on some sort of "allowance."
My bad,

Dancer9
Posted by: jawjaw

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/11/08 01:31 AM

Oh girl, that is too bad. We certainly didn't mean to come across as being sarcastic. I hope it didn't. My comment was to say that if it were ME, and it isn't, but if it were, getting a good, independent lawyer would be my next move...however, I didn't realize the circumstances were a bit more complicated.

Of course you're not stupid...and I do apologize if it came across that way. You are just a bit frustrated, aren't you? Well, I wish I had some words of wisdom but I'm afraid I've never had any experience with this type of money investment. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

Maybe someone else on here can comment. What I CAN do though is say that I'm sorry you have this aggravation, and yes, I hate that you cannot move. I know you have mentioned this before and wanted to. I hope something changes for you and that your strongest desires are fulfilled. Honestly.
Posted by: orchid

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/11/08 03:40 AM

To regain control of the trust fund for the part that's rightfully yours, it seems like one needs help of an estate lawyer. Sounds complicated enough that it would cost in legal fees..
Posted by: dancer9

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/11/08 07:23 PM

thank you, Jaw Jaw.
I'm afraid that I will have to wait until I can convince them that it is safe for my health to move.

I can be pretty persuasive but they may have a point regarding my need to be close to a doctor.

I have decided to research doctors there and addresses so that I can present a plan to them.

I am used to flying by the seat of my pants and when I was healthier, that worked. I think I need to get the research done to show them I can do this.

I will then take my husband to New Orleans for a look and if he agrees, I will be able to go, I'm sure.

This thread gave me ideas so I thank you who read it. I need, many times, to think outloud, so to speak.

Usually the trustees are generous. The move is bothering them. I know they are concerned for my health so it's not that they are saying no to everything.

Wish me luck. I need to see the right doctor once a month to go, so I must locate that doctor.

D9
Posted by: Louisa

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/12/08 01:49 AM

I have never heard of trust funds for older people. Most I've known about have been for children up to a certain adult age, like 21 or 25 or something like that. That must be very diffcult. Not that I want to move, but I can't imagine having to get permission if I did want to. I also can't imagine not being able to spend my own money the way I want to or not being able to make my own decisions (as much as I hate making decisions.) I guess it's just always been that way for you so you are used to it. What do you do, dancer, when you want to go shopping or buy something frivolous? It must be difficult. I could not do that. I also didn't know one could add to their own trust fund. I don't really know much about them. Only more like ones that involve property, like putting a house in trust for your children or grandchildren kind of thing. I'd be hiding the money in a sock under the mattress so I could go shopping or to a casino or something.

Do you have trust funds for your children? If something happened to you, would the money in your trust fund go to them or would the trustees control it the same way or would it go to the trustees. (If that's too personal, you don't have to answer. I'm just curious how that works.)
Posted by: dancer9

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/13/08 10:56 PM

Louisa, thank you for hearing my post. The answers to your questions are that when my mother dies, the trust will go to me and I can do what I want when I want. My mother, being mentally ill, is the reason for the trustees. She is a "protected person," by the state and therefore, her monies are kept by someone other than herself.
This happened when she was given the money in the trust and she promptly went out and bought a 7000.00 dress, took the slip out of it, and then donated it to the Catholic Church. She said she liked the slip part.

I share this trust with her and I decided when I was young to put my money in it as I had money go into it when I was acting and singing as a child. ( I was an actress and such from the age of 5 with my parents managing me.

Instead of taking my money and going, I knew my mother would need to be taken care of all her life. I was young and decided to continue to put money into the trust as I worked. I kept the income I wanted, which as a lot, and put some in the trust when I worked full time and in famous circles. I grew used to living a certain lifestyle as you can imagine.

Later, and in the recent years, I broke my neck. This involved three sugeries in 18 months. Then I hit menopause whiched paused me. I hit is young.

Now that I am stronger and ready to make life's plans, I find that the money the trusts pays me is not enough at times. It is enough for me to live very well, don't get me wrong, I live in a three bedroom condo, after selling my home when my son's went to university. It is upscale and I spend freely as a rule.

BUT, if it involves a large amount of money, I need to get it past the trustees who manage this money for my mother to live on for the rest of her life, as well as support me until I die.
They invest, buy and sell, and send me a history of their antics every three months as was my request.

Whew.
I am also severly dyslexic which you will see by my writing. Them watching my money does well for me many times. It protects me. My sister and a cousin were kidnaped already for ransom. If others know that the bulk of my money is out of my hands, it is safer.

I can go to the casine, on trips, so long as they feel that my health will be watched, and give money if I have a friend in need.

But:

Even last year I gave a friend money, thousands, because she said that she was unable to pay her rent and eat. Because her mother died and because I had known her so long, I gave her the money.

I found out that she had a great savings account with the balance of her inheritance from her mother all that time and did not want to use her own money!!

This, above, is typical for me. I will admit it. The are correct about me giving away money to those who do not deserve it. That was not the first time, I will be honest.

Two men had lived off me and the money had to be guared from them. I was allowing them into my accounts, etc...
They went after trust money with tricks and the trustees saved me from being scammed.

I'm to blame about some of this.

Still, New Orleans is what they are worried about. I could move elsewhere but they feel that New Orleans is not ready for me to move back. If you read my site, you would find that I sing with a great many artists who work in New Orleans. I also lived there eight years and it feels like home.

I am told, even by my son, that New Orleans is not in good enough shape for me to live there, as in: It's not safe yet.

sorry for the long answer but I wanted to tell you as much as I could since you were so very kind in taking the time to read it.

I thank you again.

Dancer9 danced last night!
Posted by: orchid

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/13/08 11:35 PM

I have nothing much to add about trust funds since I'm not an accountant. Since I did work in a tax library for a large accounting firm, I am aware in Canadian tax law, that if structured properly, trust fund can help in the area of tax savings.

Aside from trust fund lockhold for you, it sounds like maybe some deeper issues that you notice in yourself..ie. better financial planning/spending?

As a rule, have never loaned out money to friends at all. Just prefer to keep the friendship clean and trouble-free. But I have loaned and been paid back by close family members. And I probably never will loan money to friends. My approach to help friend in need, is to offer my place to stay for a few days. It hasn't happened yet, but that would be my tendency-- place to sleep, some food and a friendly ear to listen.
Posted by: Louisa

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/13/08 11:54 PM

Now I understand better. I didn't know more than one person could be on one trust fund. I don't know much about these things. I know my former father-in-law put his house in a trust for my children after his wife (their grandmother) died. The house was always to go to my children eventually, but her remarried (at 84 years old) so his son made sure he put the house in a trust so it was procected. My son now has the house. I can see that you would need it to care for your mother. I would also think that New Orleans isn't that safe right now. They are probably right. How did you injure your neck? Did you have a specific accident or was it something progressive from repettive motions?
Posted by: chatty lady

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/14/08 12:30 AM

I have done both, given sanctuary to someone in need and also given money to someone in need, actually many someones. That is in the past, as my financial situation changed when my ex drove me into the ground of financial uncertainty. He maxed out my credit cards, wrecked my car, spent like a drunken sailor until I was in debt. It was during this time I realized how cold and selfish others are. There was no one there for me after the divorce, just lots of smug looks of I told you so, which no one did by the way.

Well, I am far from ther generous person I once was and I do what I can for those I care about but it usually doesn't mean giving cash. I do without much myself now and so take things slow and careful. I so wish I had what I once had and could be as generous as I use to be, it is fun for me to make people happy....
Posted by: dancer9

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 09/14/08 08:27 PM

Orchid, Chatty, yes, I must learn to manage my money better when it comes to others. I over spend on my friends and yes, I gave money that was not needed more than once.
I have given money that has helped real people before, but I've been burned more than helped. I have been trying to be better at that with the help of my husband.
My husband makes enough to support us both, by the way, so he would and has not taken from me.
Louisa, I broke my neck dancing both times. I am also a gymnast, I dance ballet, jazz, modern and hip hop. I do not tap, lol.
I was in the air about 4 feet recently and could not decide in that split second whether to flip or to land on my feet and I ended up falling those four feet onto my neck and head.
If I had been one of my dancers, I would have called an ambulance poste haste, but it was me so I asked my son and husband for ice and iced it.
As I moved about the next week or so, the bones shifted and I hurt my cord.
I had stenosis badly in that area and had gone undiagnosed for many years. When I went to the doctors, they thought I could not be the dancer I was will and REAL problems so they called my pain stress.
When this last fall happened, they found severe stenosis and had to operate.
I have a donor bone in my neck that is fused.
It's a long and traumatic story and thanks for asking.

Dancer, who is re-thinking teaching.
Posted by: Josie

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 11/26/08 08:47 PM

Hi Dancer. My close friend has a similar trust fund. When her wealthy dad passed on, he made the bank trustees to all his money so even his wife (a working scientist) had to ask permission from the trustees for certain major purchases.

Then when my friend's mother died, the trust passed to my friend and her two siblings with the same restrictions. The principal is never to be touched, and they each get a monthly set amount to live on. (My friend also works full time and lives modestly)

I forget what type of fund it is called, but the bank to this day controls the money. I guess back in the 40s and 50s, men with assets felt that women could not control their finances well.

I told my friend to get a lawyer and break this deal up, but I think she thinks it would be too much of a hassle.
Posted by: dancer9

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 12/08/08 11:00 PM

Josie, bless your heart! Thank you for understanding what type of trust I have and why I might get frustrated!

I have, in the past, have a hard tim explaining it to the forum.

Thanks again,
Dancer
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 12/09/08 04:57 PM

dancer, I'm seeing this for the first time. My MIL lived with a trust. She often had the same issues you are experiencing. She received monthly checks, but whenever she needed more than that, she had to approach the trustees. I recall her having doctors write letters for her at times so she could break the trust. It was pretty tricky because it all depended on the hearts of the men (in her case) and what they thought was best for her. Fortunately, they managed it well and she was able to live an a nice retirement community at the end of her life. I do recall her being frustrated becasue it was her money, but she couldn't always get to it, which was a good thing. She had a heart of gold when it came to helping others, and loved to shop.
Posted by: dancer9

Re: Trust funds, does anyone have one? - 12/09/08 10:55 PM

Thank you for posting, Dotsie. Yes, my trustees are supposed to be there to protect me and that can get on my nerves. They are generous with me for the most part but let a man in my life try to get a loan from it or money out of it and they go nuts!

My sister was kidnapped for money and the trust protected here and my cousin was also kidnapped and it was for money as well. Both times the money in trust helped but in my cousins case, she had to escape because they planned on blackmailing my uncle.

My sister's kidnapper tried to blackmail my father for money and then called me trying to tap the trust to "save," her for money,'
The trustees refused to pay, telling him to "keep her," if he wanted money and sure enough they let her go. They were not violent though.

It has protected me from my own generosity, yes, but I wish often that it would be more open to my husband and others in my life. For example, I may want to take a trip with a friend but it won't pay for that friend, only in the case of friends they approve of will they pick up the check!

THEY decided whom they approve of too!

Thanks for letting me get some off my chest,

Dancer