Question about friends daughter

I'm single so I'm posting here, not sure if this is the right place. I was invited to a friends daughters wedding last year in July. I met these friends when I was married. They moved into the house beside us and we got together on a regular basis. Their daughters occasionally babysat for me etc. Later when I left my husband we lost touch for the most part. They did contact me occasionally, gave me a used microwave when they knew I didn't have one, dropped off chocolates on my first Valentines Day alone but then we lost touch for years and did not meet up at all, just saw each other out in the community. I feel that they judged me because of my older son (drug addict) they had mentioned a few things to me about him.

Anyway my question. Last year they came by my house and dropped off an invitation to their daughters shower, plus a wedding invitation. I was kind of surprised as we rarely saw each other. I could not attend the wedding because I was out of town for three weeks in another city (3,000 miles away) I did go to the shower with my kids and bought an extra expensive shower gift as I knew then that I would miss the wedding. The bride wanted everything in black so I was going to buy them black towels but they only had a small selection at the store so I bought them bathroom accessories. Black marble type glass, etc. with a marble tray, silver stand on soap dish, kleenex cover etc. etc. really nice. Anyway at the shower I mentioned to the mother that I wanted to get them black towels and she said, oh,you can get them that for a wedding present.

When you don't go to the wedding do you still send a present. I was away and got busy when I returned home and totally forgot about the wedding. Much later I started to think about it and wondered if I should have sent a gift. I have never heard from them since but they just moved to my street a month ago, the Mom and Dad not the kids and I have seen them a few times but they acted quite cool. Did I do something wrong here, and should I send something almost a year later. I have the couples address. Sorry this is so long but wanted to explain the situation. I guess I figured that we had drifted apart so wasn't looking at it the same way as if it was a close friends daughter.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Kate

I don't know what protocol is, but I don't feel you are obligated to get the newlyweds anything else. Sounds more like they were inviting people (everyone on their old and new contact lists) for numbers, which ultimately means gifts. That may sound hateful, but that's what it sounds like to me. The gift giving is between you and the daughter, not you and the parents. If the parents are reacting to what you did or didn't do, they are in the wrong place. Unless you are trying to have a closer relationship, just smile at them in passing and be on your way.

I agree with Gimster. It does sound like they were trying to "paper the house" in order to increase the numbers of wedding guests in an effort to "up" the amount of gifts. That's shameful. If I were you, given all of the circumstances involved, I wouldn't give it a second thought. If they want to continue to make an issue of it, it's their problem--not yours.

However, if you do want to give them a wedding gift, you can do so for up to one year after the wedding date.

Thanks, I thought I had heard that you had up to one year.
Maybe I will wait until there is a baby on the way and send something then. Really we hadn't seen each other in so many years actually lost touch for at least 2 years.
I don't think they were trying to get more presents because they invited my kids too which would only get them one present. Maybe the daughter suggested us, who knows. After all, maybe I will send something meaningful to them as a house-warming/wedding (very late) gift. The more I write the more I think I should send something.
Kate

A small house-warming gift would be nice. It doesn't have to be ostensibly a post-wedding gift.

Not worth reading too much in the parents' coolness towards you. YOu did lose touch after many years...and it will take time to know, if each party is willing. There's always coffee time...soon.

A generous shower gift was the most appropriate touch, given the circumstances and how suddenly the women (your "friend") reappeared your life.