Posted by: Dotsie
WE DID IT! - 08/17/05 10:15 AM
Hello Ladies! I'm excited tonight. At first I was a bit sad since my last child is leaving soon, very soon, for college. Tonight, after paying for her ticket to Florida and other last minute details, I have to actually pat my own back...toot my own horn.
See, for the most part, despite the fact that I married prior to having children and really tried to do the right thing by God, I raised these two children alone...SOLO, of course not Leaving Him out.
But, during the times, I was mad at Him for everything that had gone so wrong in my life. I wondered why He hadn't protected me and had actually convinced myself that He was not with me. Now that I look back, now that I am able to look back, I should say, He gave me the strength and knowlege to raise them into the wonderful characters they became despite all that I had been through.
He gave me the sense to walk right up to women that I admired that had raised their own children to be successful beings. I can recall overhearing one woman during a conference discuss each of her four children's college graduations. I knew that I needed her in my life but if only for a moment. I told her a little about my abusive upbringing and why I needed her. To date, this lady that calls me her God daughter, is in my life. She told me things like be consistent, firm and loving. All of the parenting tips that I missed due to my 'situation.'
I studied her and women the like, like a book. I watched their behaviors. Now that I can look back on those days, that was only God guiding me.
My fears of men around my children left me lonely and longing many days and nights. One of my original posts here was how the couples that live next to me are/were coupled and how I felt like the odd ball and how it hurt that I was not involved with a loving man. But all the same, I knew that my fears wouldn't let me be with one.
Not to speak too badly of some of those, but my children are far more successful, rounded and insightlful than the children that have grown in a two-parent home.
Solo 'feels' bad but it has bared the fruit of my desire after all; healthy children.
Now it remains to be seen if I've damaged them in the long run as it pertains to them 'coupling'. You know, that 'seeing the interactions of mom and dad' and learning 'how to' share love and receive it. That's my new concern but what can I say? We've made it w/o the statistics of the vicious cycle where the children sees mommy get beat/mistreated and goes out to seek and do the same. Oops, I forgot about my son and his incidents. Hmmm, well, he's been bombarded with why and possibly how he managed to start treating women like he did in the past. We prayed together and I really do believe he understands the forecast of his future and the past that took him there. That also remains to be seen. Until then!
God was my children's Father! So, We did it!
Happy 2Day!![[Smile]](images/icons/smile.gif)
Sheree
[ August 17, 2005, 03:21 AM: Message edited by: Sugaree ]
See, for the most part, despite the fact that I married prior to having children and really tried to do the right thing by God, I raised these two children alone...SOLO, of course not Leaving Him out.
But, during the times, I was mad at Him for everything that had gone so wrong in my life. I wondered why He hadn't protected me and had actually convinced myself that He was not with me. Now that I look back, now that I am able to look back, I should say, He gave me the strength and knowlege to raise them into the wonderful characters they became despite all that I had been through.
He gave me the sense to walk right up to women that I admired that had raised their own children to be successful beings. I can recall overhearing one woman during a conference discuss each of her four children's college graduations. I knew that I needed her in my life but if only for a moment. I told her a little about my abusive upbringing and why I needed her. To date, this lady that calls me her God daughter, is in my life. She told me things like be consistent, firm and loving. All of the parenting tips that I missed due to my 'situation.'
I studied her and women the like, like a book. I watched their behaviors. Now that I can look back on those days, that was only God guiding me.
My fears of men around my children left me lonely and longing many days and nights. One of my original posts here was how the couples that live next to me are/were coupled and how I felt like the odd ball and how it hurt that I was not involved with a loving man. But all the same, I knew that my fears wouldn't let me be with one.
Not to speak too badly of some of those, but my children are far more successful, rounded and insightlful than the children that have grown in a two-parent home.
Solo 'feels' bad but it has bared the fruit of my desire after all; healthy children.
Now it remains to be seen if I've damaged them in the long run as it pertains to them 'coupling'. You know, that 'seeing the interactions of mom and dad' and learning 'how to' share love and receive it. That's my new concern but what can I say? We've made it w/o the statistics of the vicious cycle where the children sees mommy get beat/mistreated and goes out to seek and do the same. Oops, I forgot about my son and his incidents. Hmmm, well, he's been bombarded with why and possibly how he managed to start treating women like he did in the past. We prayed together and I really do believe he understands the forecast of his future and the past that took him there. That also remains to be seen. Until then!
God was my children's Father! So, We did it!
Happy 2Day!
Sheree
[ August 17, 2005, 03:21 AM: Message edited by: Sugaree ]
![[Razz]](images/icons/tongue.gif){kind=icon}