Married, Single, living w/ SO, separated?

I'm not sure how to do this but I was really wondering what the numbers were so far as married women on the forum, single women here, and those that were living with a S.O.?

I'm not sure how to set up a poll so I decided to ask it this way.

If you don't want to answer this, please ignore it. But if you don't mind, I'd love to know!

As for me, I am married, happily and live with my husband. We have an empty nest, college and work have my sons.I am married because I believe in marriage for religious reasons and I believe in it for social reasons. This is just for me, I can accept any sort of arrangement for my friends.

dancer

I'm single and since getting divorced after 18 years of marriage (8 years ago), I have not lived with anyone.

Sometimes I wish I had. I think I've gotten so used to my freedom that I'm spoiled and can never live any other way ever again!

Whirlwind

the nice thing about polls, members can answer anonymously, even though I think most would answer without reserve in regular posts.

Here are the instructions for creating a poll... hope I've remembered all the steps... if I didn't, u might find them under "Help"



A. Choose a topic category and select "Post," which will take you to "new" post window.

B. You must enter a subject, but have the option of adding an explanation in the "Post" window.
Once, done, mark the "Add a poll to this post. box,
then enter the number of questions you want to have in the "Total questions:" box.

C. Next screen - enter your questions under
"Question Name", then your number of choices for the question, such as 2 if you were going to have a yes/no question; 2 or more if it's to be multiple choice or a combination of choices, i.e. married,divorced
Example:
Question Name: Are you married?
Choices: 2
Number of Choices: In this example it would be the default, "User may choose only one (radio button)"

D. To complete, follow the directions on the remaining screens, then submit the thread as you would other posts.

BTW, I'm married (36 years)...married my high school sweetfart.

My first marriage was to be my last...or so I thought. I was married 31 years. I am currently married and have been for 3 years, 3 months. I lived (or tried to) with this man for a year before our marriage...but I left 4 times during that year so does that count!!! Empty nest of course, too....just furry and feathered kids.

Ha ha Gimster…your sweetfart? That’s funny.

I’ll be married 33 years this August to my first and only husband. Yikes! Time for a change. heheh just joshin' ja. ( I hope, I hope, I hope...this was not a good day to answer this question )

I am married.
MA

gimster,
Thank you so much for explaining it and taking the time to make it easy for me!
You are very kind for doing that, I am afraid to try things on my computer unless I understand them. I'm not the "just try it," type with electronics... Now dance or clothes or travel, yes!

Thanks,
dancer

I was married for 32yrs and had 5 children with my husband..my oldest died when she was 11yrs old..as most of you know by now. I am at present living with my 34yr old partner..not married..and my youngest son who is 18yrs old. Both of my men are computer game crazy..and I am slowly going mental myself..all is not quiet on the northern front here in Sweden at the moment..is what I am trying to say

What is an "SO"??? I want to end that with a B..but I think that I am missing some new term here since I`ve been living in Sweden for so long. Help me out here!

hehehe, Humlan...well they may be an S.O.B. but hopefully not....it means "significant other"

OK! And significant other is someone you live with or not? In Swedish, we call the partner we live with, but are not married to..which is very common here..and the relationship is protected by law, a "sambo"..freely translated, it means "person you live with".

Interesting. Generally, the title "significant other" is a politically correct way of saying who one lives with.

Maybe true in the States, then..not here. To me, significant other gives me room for more significant others..but as I say, I haven´t lived in the States for YEARS and YEARS. So..I honestly don´t know a thing about this. Thank you for answering!

I feel like a revolving door...
Married = widowed
Married = widowed
Married = divorced
Single = hopefully forever...

I used SO because one a person could be in a very committed relationship and be gay, for example, or there are those who have alll the committments of marriage but choose to stay unmarried. These people do not consider themselves single even if they are not legally married or cannot, for some reason, be legally married.

dancer

Good to know, Humlan!
dancer

Legally married for 31 years.

Convenient, yes. Significant, no.

LOL, Meredith!
dancer

My goodness, Anne3, I read your post! You have had just about every kind of creep there is, right? Your story there reminded me of a good friend of mine who caught her husband with her daughter and had to take care of him poste haste!

I'm sorry you caught such a loser! Maybe more than one?
I hope that here in Arizona, you find a good man to be with. If he is a Native, he is usually a good person here.
Others are running from something, usually!
dancer

Some of the answers here get me thinking..like yours, Meredith..and not necessarily in a negative way..just pondering about my own situation...interesting..interesting..thread.I hope there will be more posts here.

Ah Ha! Humlan has something to think about! No pressure, Humlan! You don't have to reveal anything! I'm just glad the thread helps you!

dancing through...

I have to reply, ChattyLady..your history moved me..and gave me alot to think about..

Humlan, I was the luckiest girl in the world to have married my highschool sweetheart who passed away within five years but not before giving me a gorgeous son.

After several years I again married a wonderful man and we were together for fourteen years, happily, before he passed, he spoiled me rotten and also gave me another handsome son...

After many, many years (15) I tried marrying again, did everything the wrong way, didn't check the fool out at all just believed whatever he told me. I wasn't myself as my sister had just died and I had been her only caregiver 24/7 for the past five years. I needed someone in my life then and he slithered right under the radar. I wasn't use to the slime of the world, I had two wonderful men before and so I was taken big time. It was my own fault. I divorced him after six years, kept waiting for things to get better, they did not. We are still friends, don't ask me why, I haven't a clue. He all but ruined my credit, my relationship with friends and my home in general. Anyway at my age I doubt theres a decent man left alive for me to be with, so I have a few dinner and show, male friends and thats it. I allow no man to get close and I mean that in every possible way. So single it will be for me! To bad too, I enjoyed being married the first two times. I am the homebody type...

I have been single for over 10 years now. Have never lived with anyone, other than my husband for a year before we were married. My husband was abusive to me and my eldest son so when I had two more children with him (give my head a shake)
I decided I'd better leave real quick before he did the same to them. They were both in diapers when I left. We are friends now, with caution on my part, I only trust so much and keep firm boundaries. He has learned a great deal but is in a live-in situation that is not great, also had another child. At least he isn't abusive with his partner or so I am told. Lots of yelling goes on with them and their kids are out of control.

I don't think I could ever live with anyone again. I like living with my two teenagers (although have a few complaints about that) but enjoy their company. I worry about when the time comes for them to leave home. Although I am very independant and lived on my own for 7 years before I got married, I don't want to be alone all the time.

I am currently dating an old flame from the past although he lives a plane ride away so we don't see each other much. I am finding that the distance is becoming a problem for me. When I need him to be around he is not, he can't really be there for me from such a distance. I really like him but will not move closer at the moment while my kids are still at home and in high school. I don't want to disrupt their lives. He has kids too and a good career so he can't really move closer to me at this point.

I just wish I could find a nice guy that lives close by, not to live with but to have a nice relationship with while we both have our own homes. I have great friends but it is so nice to have someone special in your life so I am torn.

At times I want to cut off this relationship as it is so frustrating. But then, it's nice that at least someone is there and thinking about me, and looking out for me.

I don't know that answer to the married - single question, what is better? I like a man to be around when I want him, and to be elsewhere when I don't want him around. I kind of have a cat like personality, not the best for a healthy relationship.
Kate

Anne3, did you meet these men in person or on the internet?
(the four.)
dancer

Quote:

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I worry about when the time comes for them to leave home. Although I am very independant and lived on my own for 7 years before I got married, I don't want to be alone all the time.

I am currently dating an old flame from the past although he lives a plane ride away so we don't see each other much. I am finding that the distance is becoming a problem for me. When I need him to be around he is not, he can't really be there for me from such a distance. I really like him but will not move closer at the moment while my kids are still at home and in high school. I don't want to disrupt their lives. He has kids too and a good career so he can't really move closer to me at this point.

I just wish I could find a nice guy that lives close by, not to live with but to have a nice relationship with while we both have our own homes. I have great friends but it is so nice to have someone special in your life so I am torn.

At times I want to cut off this relationship as it is so frustrating. But then, it's nice that at least someone is there and thinking about me, and looking out for me.

I don't know that answer to the married - single question, what is better? I like a man to be around when I want him, and to be elsewhere when I don't want him around. I kind of have a cat like personality, not the best for a healthy relationship.
Kate

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Is he that type of person, that you wouldn't want him around 24 x 7 x many years? Here's mine:

Been with my parnter for nearly last 17 yrs. But we only lived under the same roof for over last 5 yrs. When I met my partner I had just bought my own home. So I continued to live in my own home, pay for it and he maintained his home with his children visiting during custody visits. He and I spent alot of time at each other's places.

Previously we were living apart for 3 years, in 2 different provinces (a plane ride apart), he in Calgary and I in Toronto for 2 years, plus 3rd year he went cycling for half-year in New Zealand after he retired.

The distance separation was due to his employer forcing him to relocate or be terminated... and I did not want to relocate and find a job for only 2 years. So I stayed in Toronto during that time.

It worked for us, because we did plan be together under same roof later long-term.

Hope you find an answer eventually to your heart, Kate.